Although there have been infinite varieties of life forms that have evolved on Earth over the past 4 billion years, two life forms that are our male and female ancestors evolved over a billion years ago. See how this first sexual experience came about according to cosmologist Dr. Brian Swimme and historian Dr. Thomas Berry in their book, The Universe Story.
The first male organism — they call it Tristan-and the first female organism — she is called Iseult— life began in the ancient oceans. Swimme and Berry describe their chance meeting as follows:
“They threw themselves into the maritime adventure, with the wounds of hunger and robbery. Able to feed but no longer able to divide into daughter cells, such primitive living things clawed their way through life until an almost certain death ended their 3 billion year lineage.
There was a small, such a small chance that a Tristan cell would meet a matching Iseult cell. They would throw one upon the other, a contact similar to so many trillions of other encounters in their oceanic adventure. But with this, something new would awaken. Something unsuspecting and powerful and intelligent, as if they had drunk a magic elixir, would enter the flow of electricity through each organism.
Suddenly the very chemistry of their cell membranes would begin to change. The interactions caused by newly functioning segments of her DNA would restructure the molecular tissue of Iseult’s skin so that an act she had never experienced or planned for began to take place – Tristan entering her cell fully.
Of course there were no humans to record this original encounter, but we all have origin stories and this story resonates with me. Dates are never exact and change as more information is gathered. Here are some additional dates I found important The Universe Story timetable:
- 12 billion years ago, the universe begins.
- 4 billion years ago life appears for the first time.
- 1 billion years ago sexual reproduction evolved.
- 216 million years ago the first mammals appeared.
- 30 million years ago the first monkeys inhabited the earth.
- 2.6 million years ago the first humans appeared.
- 200,000 years ago the archaic Homo sapiens evolved.
- 10,600 years ago the first settlements appeared in the Middle East and wheat and barley were cultivated.
Needless to say, we have a long evolutionary history to embrace. In their book, Solving modern problems with a stone age brain, Douglas T. Kenrick, PhD, and David E. Lundberg-Kenrick describe seven evolutionary challenges we must all face and embrace. They offer a visual summary as a revision of Maslow’s original Hierarchy of Human Needs, which they call The New Pyramid of Human Motives:
The seven challenges to a successful life
Over the course of billions of years of life, all organisms have to embrace these challenges, and they are particularly relevant starting with our mammalian history. In their book, the Kenricks ask, “What are the fundamental problems of human existence?” They continue to share the results of their research.
“Together with a large team of researchers at more than 30 universities on five continents, we investigate the universal motivations that people face around the world.”
Here is a summary of their findings:
We need to meet our basic physiological needs for protection from the elements,
water and food.
- Protect yourself from attackers and robbers.
Given the scarcity of resources and the ever-present possibility of starvation, there was always competition between different groups (most often male members) for valuable real estate and resources (including access to women).
As the Kenricks remind us. “Our ancestors were not hard-nosed individualists.
They need to unite not just to protect themselves from gangs
looting bad guys but also to carry out most of the tasks of daily life.’
Some people have always been more resourceful and intelligent than others and
some were more willing to bravely defend their groups against armed raiders.
These resourceful and courageous individuals gained a higher position and won
greater respect.
“From the perspective of evolution through natural selection,” the Kenricks say, “it
step is necessary. Each of our ancestors managed to attract at least one
person he wanted to do with them. Not everyone in the ancient world got it
to reproduce, however, and a reasonable percentage of men were left without a wife.” This
fact, is of great importance for understanding men’s desires, fears and
the behavior.
From an evolutionary point of view, we don’t just have to find a mate who will
sex with us, but we have to keep our partner long enough to have a child and
mature the child to find a partner and continue the process.
- Take care of your family members.
Unlike other animals, human males are much more involved in child rearing, as human children require long-term care before they reach reproductive age.
Males and females are alike and also different
Males and females are alike in that they must both successfully meet the seven challenges listed above. However, there are also important evolutionary differences. These differences first emerged when I first met psychologist David M. Buss and read his book, The Evolution of Desire: Strategies of Human Mating.
“If mating desires and other features of human psychology are products of our evolutionary history,” says Dr. Bass, “they should be found worldwide, not just in the United States.”
To test his theories, he conducted a five-year study with collaborators from thirty-seven cultures located on six continents and five islands. All major racial, religious and ethnic groups were represented. In total, his research team surveyed 10,047 people around the world.
Dr. Bush concluded that there are actually two human natures, one male and the other female. What do women really want? Buss found that the top three qualities women look for in men are exactly the same as what men look for in women: intelligence, kindness, and love. Then, what women want is different from what men want.
“Women then look at a man’s ability to protect her and her children, his ability to provide, and his willingness to commit to a relationship,” says Buss.
What do men really want?
“A man is attracted to youth and beauty”
says Bush.
“This interest is not just a modern desire driven by advertising and men’s desire to control women [though advertisers take advantage of our evolutionary-driven desires]. It is a universal desire based on evolutionary pressures for reproductive success. Men who mated with infertile women left no ancestors. Every person alive today is descended from people who did not make this mistake. All over the world, men are attracted to younger women.”
Note: Just because we have these evolutionarily based desires does not mean we should act on them, that they are good for us, or that they will make us or the partners we desire happy. It also does not mean that they are built into our biological makeup and cannot be changed. The does it means we must take our evolution-based desires seriously and listen to the ancient “whispers within” that pull us in certain directions.
The perils and blessings of health by gender
The ancient Roman philosopher Virgil offers a simple truth for us to consider.
“The greatest wealth is health.”
A modern American physician, Marianne J. Legato, MD, world-renowned cardiologist and founder of The Foundation For Gender-Specific Medicine, says:
“The premature death of men is the most important – and neglected – health issue of our time.”
Although men, as a group, occupy more positions of power in government and business than women, it comes at a price. This was first brought to my attention by psychologist Herb Goldberg, in his 1976 book, The perils of being a man.
“The male has paid a heavy price for male ‘privilege’ and power. He is out of touch with his emotions and his body. He plays by the rules of the male game and with lemming-like purpose destroys himself – emotionally, psychologically and physically.”
In recent years we have learned a lot more about the reality of being a man.
“If it is true that men rule the world, this comes at a heavy cost”
says Dr. Legato.
“From conception to death, men are inherently more fragile and vulnerable than women. In almost every society today, men die first.”
Dr. Legato offers the following life facts:
- A male fetus is less likely to survive in the womb than a female.
- Boys are six weeks behind in developmental maturity at birth compared to girls.
- Men have four times as many developmental disabilities as women.
- Men suffer more severely than women from seven of the ten most common infections experienced by man [Including Covid-19].
- Men are likely to experience the first ravages of coronary heart disease in their mid-thirties, a full 15 or 20 years before women.
- Twice as many men die from heart disease, the leading cause of all deaths, than women.
- Men commit suicide 4 times more often than women.
- Murder and manslaughter are among the top four killers of men from the time they are born until heart disease and cancers begin to claim those who survive to middle age.
Accepting the reality of our inherent weakness and vulnerability rather than trying to pretend that we are masters of the universe is the first step we take to begin our own healing and recovery.
I have written a series of articles on the future of men’s mental health. In Part 3, “Gender-Specific Therapy and Men’s Therapy,” I explore my own healing journey and issues that address the unique issues men face and how the emerging field of Gender-Specific Therapy and Men’s Health is key to future of health care. If you would like more information about upcoming trainings, please email me at Jed@MenAlive.com and put “Gender-Specific Health Training” in the subject line.
