Can a single mother change her child’s surname in India and why does my child have my surname? In February 2026, the Bombay High Court ruled that a child raised solely by an unwed mother cannot be forced to include the father’s surname and caste in official records, stressing that official documentation should reflect the lived reality of the family and not outdated patriarchal assumptions. It sparked discussions online, I shared my opinions as my lived experience and was brutally trolled.
Why does my child have my last name?
I filed for mutual divorce in 2021, divorce is never easy. It’s messy, emotional, and often judged by society before you even have a chance to heal and deal with it. My child was only 5 years old when I divorced, I knew I had to take charge of my life to raise my child: not let social stigma, gossip or outdated expectations dictate my choices. I wanted to study more, move abroad and give my child a better life, free from the judgments often meted out to single mothers in India. I wanted her to grow up in a world where love, care and stability mattered more than society’s labels. However, almost immediately, I discovered that society has a way of doing everything for women. People assumed I must have asked for alimony or child support, that I was “taking advantage” of the system. The truth is, I didn’t ask for any. I chose a mutual divorce for the sake of peace. In fact, I had nothing, my family supported me and I literally started from scratch. My ex-husband agreed to a mutual divorce and everything involving our child, because he understood that it was the least he could do as a father. And yet, online trolls paint women like me as greedy or vindictive. They say that women destroy men through maintenance and maintenance demands, while I have not received a single penny in the name of maintenance till date even after the court order, which is the right of the child and nothing could be further from my truth.
How do you change a child’s last name if the father is not around?
Finally and perhaps the most controversial choice I made was to give my child my last name. This, more than anything else, has sparked anger and outrage from strangers on the internet who have no idea about our reality. They assume it was revenge or an attempt to “separate the child from the father”. But let’s be clear: this was never about revenge. Changing a child’s surname is a legal right, and in cases like mine, is often required when a mother seeks to move abroad for work or education, or to ensure the welfare of a child in a family where she is the sole carer. It took a lot of hassle to change my child’s surname, with documents and change her surname directly from her birth certificate, to aadhar card to passport. I went to the Municipal Corporation and also advertised in the local papers, but in the end it all worked out.
Today, I work full time and raise my child alone and I don’t fight with anyone or separate my child from anyone, there is no father in the picture. I am my child’s sole carer and every decision I have made has been in her best interest. The law recognizes this and recognizes that a child’s identity and surname can reflect the reality of their upbringing. Despite this, I continue to face judgment, trolling and hate from people who don’t understand our lives. They don’t see the sleepless nights, the sacrifices, or the constant effort to protect and raise a child on my own, it’s just when they see a divorced woman with a child, they lash out.
Also read: Resources and support for single mothers
Through this post, I want to speak unequivocally: I changed my child’s last name because I am her mother, her primary and sole caregiver, and because I wanted her identity to reflect the life we live together. I didn’t do it out of revenge, I did it out of love, responsibility and a desire to give my child a life free of unnecessary judgment and complications and I will do anything to give him that safe and secure life. This is part of a wider change in India. As of 2017, women no longer have to change their surname after marriage, and the Bombay High Court has confirmed that children raised by unwed mothers cannot be forced to carry the father’s surname or caste. These legal changes are about recognizing the reality, protecting children and empowering women who are the sole caregivers of their families.
So, to the trolls, critics, and those who assume my choices have been anything but what they are, love, care, and responsibility – I say this: your opinions do not define our reality. Our life, our choices and our child’s future are ours alone to shape. And we will continue to do so, with pride, strength and love.
This article was originally published on my Times of India column
