Smut takes over the world of sex and romance – but what is it really? Soot is romantic fiction, fantasy, or romantic writing with explicit content. Although it’s been around for a while, it’s only getting more popular (looking at you, BookTok). Arguably, it has become the primary source of sex “education” for teenagers and young adults who may not have received comprehensive information about sex and sexuality from their elementary school experience or from their home environment. Some people think it’s inherently harmful and destroys relationships, but I’d say it’s a tool like any other! It depends on how you use it.
I recently visited one romance and fantasy bookstoreand it got me thinking about what smut does well and where we should approach it with some caution. Let’s break it down.
What Smut gets right
Smut can be so liberating, especially since a large portion of its readers are women—the same women who are often taught to be ashamed of their sexual desires and curiosity. Smut helps normalize desireand that’s really empowering.
Here are some other things it tends to do very well:
It’s a low-stakes way to explore preferences. Want to learn about new twists, roleplays or dynamics? Smut is a safe, no-pressure space to do just that without any real risk involved. It’s a great way to explore!
He can model affirmative consent. When done well, the consensus conversation is just as exciting as the foreplay itself. This teaches readers consent can be sexy and that it’s not a mood killer, it’s part of the experience.
It represents different bodies, sexual characteristics and relationship structures more than the mainstream media often do. Smut often features characters with disabilities, less commonly represented sexualities, and polygamous relationships.
What Smut Gets Wrong (or Exaggerates)
Smut is fantastic, but that doesn’t mean it’s without flaws. Like any medium we consume, it deserves to be approached with a grain of salt.
Unrealistic physical expectations. In the same way that porn can be unrealistic, so can smut. Stamina, anatomy, pain versus pleasure can all be misleading in these books. Sometimes this position just doesn’t work the way the book sounds, or your partner doesn’t last as long as your favorite dragon rider. Don’t compare yourself or your experiences to fictional characters. If something you read affects you negatively sexual self-esteemyou don’t need it!
Consent is a double-edged sword. Sometimes it is handled very well and blends seamlessly into the experience. Other times it is omitted entirely so as not to interrupt the fantasy – such as a consensual non-consensual scenario where the negotiation never actually takes place on the page. This can work as a narrative device, but not a model for real life. Recognize the difference and don’t pick up non-fiction habits.
Uncritically reinforcing gender scripts and power dynamics. Smut is often a product for sale, which means it’s often written to play into whatever it’s selling (think the bad boy born, the damsel in distress, the “I can fix him” arc). These tropes can be fun to read, but be aware of how they might shape your expectations of real people and real relationships, especially in the bedroom.
Smut as a starting point, not a rulebook
It is worth distinguishing not only between imagination and realitybut in between imagination and desire. You can thoroughly enjoy reading about something and then realize you have no interest in doing it in real life – and that’s totally valid! A fantasy can remain a fantasy.
So if something you’re reading is just that – a fantasy – get it! Just make sure you communicate clearly with your sexual partners when the conversation comes up. And when in doubt, check out reliable sexual health resources. The author may be a brilliant writer, but that does not make him a sexual health expert.
Quick Tips for Consuming Smut More Critically
Notice how consent is handled: Is it well modeled or glossy? What is important to you when communicating about consent?
Check with yourself: Does this feel exciting or does it feel like pressure? It’s supposed to be fun. You can leave the book at any time.
Know that not all badlands are created equal. Look for the dirt that reflects the values you actually have and be honest with yourself about what is fantasy versus what you would really like.
