A new documentary film, Sensitive Men Rising (SMR), turns its lens on the billions of men who have largely hidden in the shadows. Thanks to the discovery of what we now know as “sensory processing sensitivity” (SPS)—aka hypersensitive sensitivity—we know that men can be instrumental in changing the face and era of masculinity as a force for good in the world.
According to the film’s director, Will Harper,
“Sensitive Men Rising is a long overdue, socially relevant film that invites us all on an emotional, educational and enlightening journey. It asks ALL of us to deepen our understanding of the sensitivity of sensory processing in men and how it intersects with traditional and contemporary masculinity.”
The film’s producer, Dr. Tracy Cooper, author of the book, Empowering the sensitive male soul, says,
“Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) seem to ignore the cultural programming we are all exposed to and instead prefer to work out original solutions.”
Ahead of the film’s release, June 16, 2024 (Father’s Day), Dr. Cooper interviewed me about my work with Highly Sensitive Men.
I was also fortunate to meet William Allen, the author of the book, About being a sensitive person, and host an HSP Men’s Monthly Zoom Meeting. My own men’s group has been meeting for 44 years. I was excited to learn that Bill brings together men from all over the world. You can learn more at TheSensitiveMan.com.
I always knew I was a very sensitive boy growing up, but I never had a name for it until I read Dr. Elaine Aaron, The highly sensitive person, originally published in 1996, with the revised and updated 25u Anniversary Edition, 2020. Based on research she and her husband, Dr. Arthur Aron, Dr.
“Over twenty percent of people have this amazing, innate trait. A similar rate is found in more than 100 animal species, because high sensitivity is a survival strategy.”
In a recent article, “How are highly sensitive men different?” Dr. Aron says,
“As some of you know, I have a special place in my heart for highly sensitive men. I really like them. That’s part of why I want to see this movie made for them. But what makes them different from other HSPs or other men?’
Just as her research findings have shown that “high sensitivity” is a biologically based trait that exists not only in humans but also in other species, she recognizes that “male sensitivity” also has biological roots.
“First, highly sensitive males (HSMs) develop under the influence of male genes, with testosterone as the main factor. Across the gender spectrum, almost all HSM (and men in general) are clearly biologically male.”
Dr. Aron goes on to say that these issues are complex and we will learn more over time, but there are things we can say now.
“Of course, male and female behavior is such that many men do some things that women usually do and vice versa, but the hormones must make HSMs and HSWs different in some way. How do hormones interact with sensitivity? We don’t know yet, but they certainly do and we need to learn about it. Perhaps this is the second phase of the investigation.”
Dr. Aron also recognizes the importance of understanding evolutionary reality as we try to work with this important, biologically based trait.
“Looking back at the evolution of male behavior, we know that sensitivity works well enough to exist in 20 or even 30% of the population and in equal numbers in men and women. This means that the HSMs were successful in their reproduction, but how?’
He goes on to say,
“When you know you’re highly sensitive, it reframes your life. Knowing that you have this trait will allow you to make better decisions.”
Early in life, I always felt that my sensitivity made me different from most of my male peers. Now, as a father of five, grandfather of seventeen, and great-grandfather of two, I realize that I belong to a select group of men who have a greater interest in life.
Based on her own research and that of others, she suggests looking at the unique ways men engage with their children.
“We know that human males evolved a strategy found in some birds and some other mammals, which is staying after mating to help raise their own young. This method of seeing their DNA go to the next generation stands in stark contrast to simply mating as often as possible with as many females as possible and not keeping them around afterwards.”
If we weren’t particularly sensitive before we had kids, being a busy dad will definitely get the best of us.
Bottom line: Highly sensitive men have style
Dr. Aron gives us a simple acronym to summarize how this unique trait of Hypersensitivity manifests in men.
- S for strategicor the depth of processing in action, since males must act and watch other males, especially the more aggressive ones.
- T for testosterone— you can’t explain away an HSM by thinking it’s more “feminine”.
- Y for wise retreat—to live to fight (better) another day and another way, and retreating as in “high yield” investments. (Backing off can be mistaken for weakness, but it’s not at all—as in martial arts, especially judo [or Aikido]you use the other’s attack to defeat them almost effortlessly while conserving your own mental and physical energy.)
- L for leadership— whether among people or becoming leaders in their fields, arts, science, business, sports, or whatever field they strive for, using their unique STYLE.
- E for Empathywhich can be used in close relationships and leadership, but also in knowing, for strategic purposes, what others are doing, sometimes even before they know it.
Examples of highly sensitive men
As Dr. Aron notes, there are many examples we could cite among the more than 1 billion Highly Sensitive Men in the world today. He offers an example from a Netflix series. Here’s what he has to say:
“It’s no secret that I like it Star Trek, all iterations except the first sexist, but not so sci-fi. I like that all the main characters are good people—heroic, kind, etc. I only watch TV while doing exercises on my floor every other day, but after so many years of watching Star Trek that I know what happens in every episode, I needed an alternative.
“Netflix kindly showed me other things I might like, given my liking for Star Trek, so I tried Designated Survivor. I was hooked immediately. It’s an unrelenting thriller, which I would never normally watch and wouldn’t recommend for other HSPs. So why was I watching?
“The show is about US politics – this quiet guy, never interested in power or fame, becomes President after EVERYONE in the government (even the Supreme Court) is killed in a massive bombing during the speech on state of the union.
“It turns out that this ‘designated survivor’, played by actor Kiefer Sutherland, and many of those around him, inspired by him, are undeniably good and wise, in every situation, just like the crews of the Enterprise. I was hooked, even though every episode overstimulates me. It was great to see Highly Sensitive Men in positions of power, if only in a TV drama.”
I had watched the series and found it engaging from the first episode, where Kiefer Sutherland’s character stands up to a warm-hearted general who wants to take immediate action before knowing all the facts, a great example of healthy male leadership. After watching Sensitive Men Rising, I had a new appreciation for the importance of sensitive male leadership. We definitely need a US President who exhibits the quality of high sensitivity.
Sensitive Men Rising: The Peaceful Warriors We Need in the World Today
Some of the truly sensitive men I have admired in my life include;
- The Dalai Lama
- Mahatma Gandhi
- Martin Luther King Jr.
- Abraham Lincoln
- Psychologists Abraham Maslow, Carl Rogers and psychiatrist John Bowlby.
These are all highly sensitive men who have also had to resist oppression with the strength of peaceful warriors. A man who also fits this description is the meditation master Chögyam Trungpa. In my book, The Warrior’s Journey Home: Healing Men, Healing the Planet, I quote Trungpa who says,
“Warfare is not about waging war against others. Aggression is the source of our problems, not the solution. Here the word “warrior” comes from Tibetan, wow, which literally means “one who is brave”. Polemics in this context is the tradition of human bravery or the tradition of fearlessness. Warriorship is not being afraid of who you are.”
Where do we go from here?
We are at a time in human history where Highly Sensitive Men are needed now more than ever. Mark Jamison, Head of Global Clients, VISA, Inc., one of the experts featured in the film Sensitive Men Risingsays, “The world is collapsing, political division is pulling us down, the environment is being destroyed. We need a different model. When people see options that bring hope and sensitivity and a much more holistic approach to problem solving, I see them embracing it with open arms.”
At the end of the film, Dr. Elaine Aron concludes:
“Most of the suffering in the world is due to a certain kind of masculinity. A different species can change that. Sensitive men rise. It’s a whole new ball game.”
You can learn more about the film at sensitivemenrising.org.
The actor and director, Peter Coyote, who introduced the film, asked us at the end: “What will you do to change the paradigm?” My answer is to join with like-minded and sensitive men and women to make change for good.
Visit me on my website and check out our new non-profit, www.MoonshotForMankind.com.
