I’m a big fan of Stephen King.
I have read the entire Dark Tower series, It, The Shining, Doctor Sleep, and my favorite movie is based on his novella, Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption.
So, at the behest of several friends who told me it’s their favorite book, finally ,he started reading 22/11/63,.
Here’s the mind-blowing case:
On November 22, 1963, three shots rang out in Dallas, President Kennedy died, and the world changed.
What if you could change it back?
Stephen King’s stunningly dramatic new novel is about a man who travels back in time to prevent the assassination of JFK – a thousand-page tour de force.
Like any good nerd, I’ve put a lot of thought into hypothetical time travel, the butterfly effect, and changing the past. I bet you have too.
Time travel is such a tempting idea because our brain can’t help but think “the road less traveled” and “what if I had done X instead of Y?”
Which brings me to today’s newsletter topic.
Accepting that some paths are closed is incredibly liberating.
Some trails are closed
My friend Tim Urban is at ,WaitButWhy.com, put this chart on the life choices we’ve made to date and the ramifications that open up for us tomorrow:
It’s really easy for our brains to over-focus on all the black lines in our past: the paths that blocked us, the decisions we didn’t make, the decisions we did make, and how our lives often feel “decided” right now.
“Because of how I’ve done this in the past, that’s the way things are.”
“Too bad I never did XYZ, now it’s too late. I am very sorry!”
“I don’t deserve to be happy because of this mistake I made”
We often forget that it is only possible to connect the dots of our lives in hindsight, in which we made every decision with the best information we had at the time.
(If you’re looking for a good read, by Matt Haig ,The Midnight Library, is a thought-provoking fictional story about alternative ways of life and acceptance. Haig draws from a past ,decision to almost take his own life,.)
So let’s talk a little about these black lines and green possibilities.
Maybe some paths are closed!
I mention all this to make two points.
Author Chris Guillbeau, who greatly inspired my love of travel and influenced how I built Nerd Fitness, recently published an essay on ,celebrates behind closed doors,.
We’ve all heard stories about people starting certain careers later in life.
An example would be, “It’s never too late! Samuel L. Jackson didn’t get his major role in “Pulp Fiction” until he was 46.
And Chris points out that sometimes it’s too late:
While these stories are inspiring, the “it’s never too late” lesson isn’t universal. Sometimes it’s too late! To believe otherwise is to believe in a fantasy.
Some things in life have real deadlines—not all, but some.
In other words, sometimes we often hold off on something we know we’ll eventually do “someday” and maybe refuse to accept the reality that…yeah, it’s too late.
Maybe we keep hoping to eventually run a marathon…even though we hate running.
Maybe we still hope to write that cookbook…even though we don’t like cooking anymore.
Perhaps we can decide that some paths ARE closed to us. We can accept that.
The Future is not set in stone either
A few weeks ago, I wrote about how ,The past is not set in stone,because our perception of history is changing.
It’s okay to accept that maybe a dream we had when we were in our 20s is okay to die.
However, it is equally tragic to assume that it is “too late” to make any changes to our future, and that it is already decided.
Betrand Russel once said “You have no obligation to be who you were five minutes ago.”
As Chris says:
It’s “not too late” for many things, and that’s great. But sometimes it is, and that’s okay.
It’s never too late to learn something new. It’s never too late to try new things.
But it may be too late for certain paths, and that’s okay.
Indeed, it is worth celebrating.
Letting go of certain paths, or accepting that some paths may be closed to us, can open up the space for us to make a different decision about life moving forward.
You can decide that later today:
- start powerlifting
- take an online course for a new career.
- try a new hobby.
- talk to your doctor about ,weight loss aid,.
We can’t travel back in time to stop the Kennedy assassination.
Some of the roads of life are now closed to us.
That might be okay!
Instead of spending more mental energy regretting our closed black paths, we can start working on deciding which green path to follow.
-Steve
PS: Need guidance and accountability to reach your fitness goals? Nerd Fitness has helped 10,000+ people over the past 8 years with 1-on-1 online fitness coaching. ,Click here for more details,.
