As someone who suffers from depression, which gets significantly worse during the holidays, I basically want to hole up in my apartment between Thanksgiving and New Year’s and skip all this funny crap. But for me, that’s not an option (unfortunately). Instead, I spoke with several mental health professionals about why the holidays can be especially difficult for people and what we can do to cope.
For starters, we’re told repeatedly—even in song—that the holidays are “the most wonderful time of the year.” We see incredibly happy people in Hallmark movies and commercials with smiling friends and families, and if what we feel doesn’t match that, it makes us feel worse. Of course, in addition, the days are short and dark, leading to a drop in serotonin while disrupting your circadian rhythm, per Mayo Clinicwhich triggers even more seasonal depression.
“While the holidays can be a wonderful time of celebration, for those who are sad or depressed, it can also be more difficult as they look around and see others happy and receive messages about how they should be happy, but they just might not be. feeling that way themselves” Dr. Jephtha Tausigclinical psychologist based in New York, tells SheKnows. “This can lead to anxiety and more depression.”
Mental health and mindfulness expert Nele Van Cauteren also tells SheKnows that when you’re depressed, you can be harder on yourself, thinking you’ll never be happy or that you’ll get stuck in comparison and feel like a loser. .
The holidays also come at the end of the year when we reflect on what we have and haven’t accomplished, Kinsey McManus, director of client services at the National Alliance on Mental Illness, NYC Metro, tells SheKnows.
“A symptom of depression is to perceive things more negatively, and this kind of revision can lead to additional feelings of hopelessness and a dim view of the future,” she adds. Additionally, when families get together, old family dynamics are often played out, which can cause increased anxiety and depression according to Rob Cole, director of mental health services at Banyan Treatment Center.
Persistent depression — even during the holidays — isn’t just mentally and emotionally damaging. it can also harm the body physically. According to Dr. Fran Walfish, a family and relationship therapist in Beverly Hills, depression “disrupts the stress response system, contributes to autonomic imbalance, and increases blood clotting,” which can directly contribute to heart disease. , SheKnows says.
Well, here are some tips on how to deal with all those negative, complicated feelings when you’re prone to holiday depression:
Beware of alcohol and drugs
Festive alcoholic beverages are everywhere during the holidays, but when you’re already struggling with feelings of negativity, alcohol only tends to make things worse. As Van Cauteren points out, alcohol often has a particularly negative effect on people with depression.
Practice taking care of yourself and maintaining a routine
Almost every mental health professional I spoke to gave the same advice: make sure you take care of yourself during the holidays and surround yourself with people who bring you joy, not stress. In theory, this is great, but if you have family obligations, this may not be possible.
But there are parts of the vacation that are under your control. First, mental health nurse S. Frances Robbins suggests setting—and sticking to—a schedule and sticking to your daily routines. Especially if you’re depressed, she notes, you’re likely to forget to take your medication while traveling (which can be problematic).
Don’t overbook yourself
And although you may have many social obligations, Sydney Ziverts, health and nutrition researcher for ConsumerSafety.orgrecommends not overscheduling yourself. “While it’s extremely important to get out and socialize, those with depression are often tired and can feel overextended quickly,” she tells SheKnows. “Pick and choose how you spend your time with others and stick to a schedule that isn’t excessive.”
Since you don’t want to overextend yourself socially, it’s a good idea to schedule some alone time and a break, suggests Dr. Jonathan Smith, a clinical psychologist based in Chicago. On the other hand, if loneliness is more challenging and a more consistent trigger for depressed feelings, then minimizing alone time is a better strategy, she tells SheKnows.
Don’t neglect exercise — or vitamins
Along the same lines, Dr. Leesha Ellis-Cox, a psychiatrist who practices in Birmingham, tells SheKnows not to skip exercise during the holidays. Physical movement—even something as simple as a walk or a few stretches—releases feel-good hormones, also known as endorphins, which can help ward off negative emotions.
And this isn’t specific to people with depression, but according to Dr. Don Vaughn of UCLA’s psychology department, we could all benefit from taking a vitamin D (D2 or D3) supplement during the winter (unless it’s contraindicated for your health conditions). “Depression is associated with low vitamin D levels, which can be caused by insufficient outdoor activity or poor diet,” she tells SheKnows. “In fact, people in most parts of the United States cannot synthesize vitamin D from November to February because of insufficient sunlight at these latitudes.”
Make your own low-stress deliveries
And if you don’t respond well to the usual holiday traditions, Cole encourages his clients to develop their own — doing something they really want to do that gives them joy and gives them something to look forward to amidst all the other obligations.
Margaret Bell, a therapist in Colorado, recommends simply watching something that makes you laugh because “laughter releases endorphins that help you feel better.”
Keep the group chat handy for venting and support
Even if your family causes stress, know that you don’t have to deal with it alone. Jaime W. Vinck, consultant and managing director for Sierra Tucsontells SheKnows to have a friend who understands your struggles and can tell you about a stressful on-call situation. I’m lucky enough to have this friend to text when times are tough, and I highly recommend this strategy.
As always, if you think you could benefit from professional help, see a therapist if possible. If you already have a therapist, the holidays can be a difficult time to make an appointment, but some may see you via video call if travel gets in the way.
No matter what, know that you are not alone. The holidays are difficult for many people — with and without depression — and taking care of yourself is the first step to making it through the season.
If you are looking for resources to help a friend or loved one, or trying to get information about treatment for yourself, you can turn to National Suicide Prevention Lifeline by calling them at 1-800-273-8255.
A version of this article was published in December 2017.
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