As the holiday season approaches, so does the tempting spread of holiday treats that could make even the most disciplined among us want to rejoice. However, for many millennial moms, this period is filled with an unwelcome guest: food guilt. It’s that nagging feeling that nibbling on your grandmother’s famous gingerbread cookies or enjoying the rich holiday gravy is somehow wrong. But where does this guilt come from and why is it so pervasive among modern women? Let’s unpack the concept of food guilt, understand its roots, and find ways to joyfully embrace the holiday spirit and the deliciousness it brings.
What is Food Guilt?
- The inner conflict: Food guilt is the emotional experience that follows perceived overindulgence, often characterized by a sense of regret or failure about food choices.
- Social pressures: It is exacerbated by society’s pressures to meet certain body standards, the constant bombardment of diet culture in the media, and sometimes well-intentioned but harmful comments from those around us.
But where did our individual food guilt come from? We weren’t born thinking ice cream was bad. We grew up thinking it was delicious and made us happy. But at some point, things like cookies and pies became “bad foods.” Some of it comes from the media and even brands like the “lesser evil” and “guilt-free” label. But most of it came from our household, often from our mom’s mom and our mom (aka grandma).
The Almond Mom Effect:
- Definition: The term “almond mom” has gained traction online, referring to moms who obsessively count calories and adopt restrictive eating behaviors, often projecting these onto their children.
- The Ripple Effect: These behaviors can be inadvertently passed on, creating a generational cycle of food-related anxiety and guilt, particularly among daughters.
First, let me say that I LOVE my mom. We have a great relationship. She (along with my dad) gave me the best childhood and raised me to be a good person (at least I think). That being said, my grandmother used to weigh herself every day and was neurotic because she wasn’t gaining weight. This subtle ideal was passed down to my mom. It was a lifetime weight watcher and as a result, I knew the fiber and the points. I knew that baking vs. frying breaded chicken was lower in calories. We bought Snackwells as healthy snacks. The ice cream was “bad”. I got interested in wellness because of my mom! I found it fascinating. Do you want to lose weight? Eat fewer calories was what we all believed back then.
This wasn’t my mom’s fault, but being raised by someone whose mom prioritized thinness, it was ingrained in my head that if we ate too many calories, we were bad. As a result, it was impossible to avoid hearing people say things like “I was mean, I had two cookies.”
Again I don’t blame my mom. If I had grown up in her time, I probably would have behaved the same way.
But I’ll save the rest for a book one day, let’s move on…
Holiday food guilt is like Arnold on steroids. Something that was once there becomes much more intense.
Raise your hand if you’ve ever spent the holidays looking for the perfect healthy recipe to bring/make to top yourself off and indulge at the dessert table?
Raise your hand if you ate during the holidays because it was the only day you had a “free pass” and then felt awful and punished yourself the next day with extreme exercise? I see you Black Friday redemption workouts.
If this has happened to you in the past, you may feel anxious knowing that you will feel defeated at some point in the next 2 months.
Here’s how the holiday games unfold:
- Heightened stress: Holiday gatherings, centered around meals and treats, can increase this stress, leading to a dampened holiday spirit and enjoyment.
- Excessive exercise: Often after being too busy, we may feel the need to “burn” calories through extreme forms of exercise that can actually be worse for us if our hormones are out of balance. Furthermore, this behavior can lead to the next episode of binge eating without appropriate recovery measures.
- Low Self-Esteem: Time to Dress Up? We can struggle to find something we feel confident wearing if we struggle with our current body. As a result, we might all throw in the towel and say, what’s the point and go off the rails leading to even less self-esteem.
- Difficulty Navigating Conversations: We may face comments or judgments from family members (sometimes the “tongue moms” themselves) about ourselves or even our children’s eating habits during these times.
With my clients, we talk a lot about strategy during the week and the holiday season is no different. Here are some strategies to overcome holiday food guilt once and for all.
Overcoming holiday food guilt:
- Embrace Mindfulness: Tune into your body’s hunger cues and savor every bite. Mindful eating can enhance enjoyment and reduce overeating without the guilt.
- Redefine traditions: Create holiday traditions that focus on camaraderie and joy rather than food being the focus.
- Set boundaries: Set polite but firm boundaries with family members who may comment on eating habits or body sizes.
- Educate and Empower: Use these experiences as teaching moments for your children about the importance of balance and a healthy relationship with food.
While these may work for some people, I love specific items that can be used and that’s why I’m hosting Thriving, not just surviving through the Holiday Masterclass once again this year! It was so popular, I thought I’d bring it back.
It’s hard for many of us to tune into your hunger cues! Due to hormonal disturbances, many of us have forgotten what it really feels like to be hungry OR full. We eat because it’s dinner time, or we’re offered something that looks delicious, or we nibble pointlessly for comfort. In this masterclass, we’ll dive into:
- How to balance hormones
- Find out how much food you really need (to maintain and lose weight)
- Strategies to stop feeling guilty about what you eat
- How to Navigate Holiday Party Food and Drink to Feel Like the Rock Star You Are
and more… Close your position here today! Can’t make it live? A replay will be sent but prizes will be awarded to those who participate live!
This holiday season, let’s give ourselves and our families freedom from food guilt. As millennial moms, we have the power to break cycles, build new traditions, and create a nurturing environment where the joy of food is celebrated. Food is not just food. it is part of our culture, our family bond and the joy of our holidays. So let’s raise our glasses (with eggnog or almond milk, if you will) to a season filled with love, laughter, and the blissful enjoyment of holiday treats, guilt-free!
