Anxiety still occurs every day, even if there doesn’t seem to be a reason as to why. It’s something I’ve always experienced and often made me feel different, but as I’ve gotten older, it’s become apparent to me that many other people feel this way too. Their anxiety peaks from time to time and becomes overwhelming just like mine. Realizing that it’s a common experience has helped me and reminds me that I’m not so different after all.
But that comfort has only come so far. Over the years I have tried many different ways to deal with stress. Not much worked for me, except to remember some specific ones calming thoughts which are my philosophy on life. When I feel stressed, I meditate on these calming thoughts that help me regain some perspective when my mind wants to run away.
is My philosophy This has helped me regain some sense of control over my thoughts when I start to feel anxious.
It’s important for me to point out that I’m talking about everyday stress that can sometimes get out of control due to rumination, not a serious anxiety disorder. I’m not a health professional, just someone trying to develop healthy habits so I can live side by side with stress so it doesn’t dictate and interfere too much with my daily routines.
So, with that said, here they are 5 Calming Thoughts for Stress I meditate to regain some perspective.
1. The acceptance of being an animal
With so much structure, security and privilege in modern life, it’s easy to forget that we’re still animals. While we build impressive technology, wear fancy clothes, and build safe houses that protect us from the outside world, nothing will change the fact that you and I are monkeys, very smart monkeys.
So no matter how much I learn and grow, I will always be bound by the fact that I will feel the full range of emotions that an animal will. I will instinctively feel like reacting with anger if I feel someone has been unfair or rude to me, I will want to react with sadness if I see something upsetting, and I will feel anxious from time to time.
As an animal, I have built-in emotions that protect me and help me function in the world. There is an emotional ego that helps propel me forward, but sometimes it makes me jealous and anxious.
I am a civilized person but there will always be a wild animal inside me with desires and motivations.
Accepting this was a comforting thought for the anxiety. It reminds me that I don’t have to be perfect. Plus, it reminds me that “perfect” doesn’t exist. When all is said and done… I am a wild animal and always will be. Part of the daily challenge is to calm that ego and not be needlessly driven by it and that includes stress.
2. All I know is that I know nothing
Socrates once said…
All I know is that I know nothing.
It was referring to the fact that there is always more to learn in life, even when you feel like you have things figured out. I often feel anxious when I’ve made a mistake, but an anxiety-calming thought I use is this: because I am human, I will make mistakes. The idea of perfect is not real.
The things I know are superficial. Sure, I know how to drive a car, I know how to write a blog post, and I know how to make a Sunday dinner. But at the end of it all, I have no idea why I’m here. None of us do. We’re just trying to do the best we can and live the best kind of life we can with the information available to us.
Once again, it’s my ego trying to remind me that I know everything there is to know. But I’m a constantly learning project, so I shouldn’t be so hard on myself. I don’t know why I walk on this rock like no one else. What we think we know is what we have planned. All I can do is try and do my best. If it’s still not good enough, so be it. I’ll just try to get up and go again.
You weren’t made to be perfect.
3. How much has happened before me
How much has happened before me that is now lost in time? My current life feels like it’s the most important time right now because that’s all I can perceive through my eyes and mind. But how many like me have come before me with the same fears and anxieties that are no longer here?
When you think back over the last 100 years, you can pick out some very important events that helped shape our modern world. But when you go further back, it can be hard to relate to the illustrated faces you see in history books. But there were many people like you and me with the same concerns and problems. There have been billions of people throughout the history of this earth who have struggled with the same thoughts and feelings.
Sure their lives were different in terms of their environment and beliefs, but they were human just like us. With so many lives we can’t look back on, it’s easy to forget that there have been so many souls who have struggled with anxiety in similar ways to people today.
And we don’t remember them yet, they existed just like you and me now.
I feel unique because I am the only one who can perceive my existence but I am not so unique in the emotions I feel. Again, I am forever bound to my human emotions and one day my life will also be lost in time.
This is one of my calming thoughts because it reminds me that anxiety is not unique to me.
4. It is what I say it is
Marcus Aurelius once said…
Today I escaped anxiety, or rather, rejected it, because it was inside me, in my own perceptions – not outside.
When you’re stressed, it’s hard to see a different perspective. But a calming thought I remind myself of is the above. Nothing is nothing. We perceive things only as good or bad. Things in themselves are nothing. They mean nothing by themselves without someone perceiving them as good or bad.
Sure, there are things that are undeniably “good” or “bad,” but what really matters is how we choose to perceive them as individuals. For example, someone might see their car getting a small scratch as an extremely bad thing about which they get very upset. However, someone else may perceive this as a minor inconvenience that can be easily fixed.
So it’s how you perceive things that really counts. And you may think you don’t have the choice to decide. But I think you do. As a human, you can learn to deal with things much better than a chimpanzee. Where a chimpanzee is driven by pure instinct, we can choose to stop and decide how we want to react to something.
This was a major turning point for me. Of course, this is not easy to achieve, but through the habit of taking a moment to pause and think about how you want to perceive something, you have the option to remain much calmer.
My anxiety is inside me, in the way I think about things. If I choose to think about things in a more positive light, I usually feel less stressed.
5. There will be things beyond my control
Epictetus once said…
“The main task in life is simply this: to recognize and separate the issues so that I can clearly tell myself which are externals that are not under my control and which have to do with the choices that I really do control” .
There are so many things in life that can make you stressed out from relationships, money, health etc. A comforting thought that helps me with perspective is to remember that there will always be things that are out of my control. So I shouldn’t dwell on them so much and only concentrate on things I can control.
For example, I can’t control what people think of me, so it’s not worth spending my time trying to make them perceive me a certain way. However, I can control how I behave and act around other people. If they still think less of me when I behave well, it doesn’t matter.
I may be anxious about my health, but there are only certain things I can control. I can’t control my genes for example, but I can control how much exercise I do and the kinds of foods I eat. If I exercise regularly and eat well, I can somewhat control my weight and health.
Accepting what you can’t control is hard, but if you learn to do it, you can get rid of a lot of stress. Holding on to the hope of control is exhausting and stressful. Accepting that you are limited is liberating.
When I feel stressed, I do the things I can control like exercise, clean, and write.
Wrapping it all up
Anxiety is a difficult emotion to deal with, especially when it comes in waves. But I think it can help to remember these thoughts. You are an emotional animal, there are certain things out of your control and you can choose how you react to things more than you know, it’s okay not to know everything and you are not the only one experiencing these feelings.
Take some time to breathe and pause when you start to feel stressed. You are fine and the feeling will pass. Try to think about these points and notice if you feel calmer.
Above all, be sure to show yourself compassion because you deserve it.
Stress Affirmation Cards
Check out these printable stress affirmation cards to help you deal with stress.
