As we approach the November presidential election, it seems like half the country can’t imagine how anyone could vote for Donald Trump, given everything we know about him. The other half of the country can’t believe that someone could vote for the other, even though the other is now a woman.
I’m a psychologist specializing in gender-based health care and perhaps one of the few people who predicted (in writing) that Donald Trump would be elected in 2016 (six months before the election). You can read my May 7, 2016 article, “The Real Reason Donald Trump Will Be Our Next President” here.
Among the things I said were:
“Mr Trump appears to have been abused, neglected and abandoned as a child. Many of us resonate with his rage. We know from Mr. Trump’s own writing that he was an aggressive and violent child growing up, that he was sent to military school at a young age and struggled to control his temper. No wonder we got statements like these from Mr. Trump:
- “You know, it really doesn’t matter what the media says, as long as you have a young and beautiful donkey by your side.”
- “I would bomb them. I’d just bomb these bastards, and that’s right, blow up the pipes, blow up the refineries, blow up every inch, there’d be nothing left.’
- “I said if Ivanka wasn’t my daughter, maybe I would date her.”
The article went on to say,
“Such statements repel many. As a trauma-informed therapist, these are red flags of a person who has suffered severe abuse, neglect, and abandonment. But Mr Trump is not the only one who has suffered such humiliations.
Ongoing studies reported by the National Centers for Disease Control (Adverse Childhood Experiences—ACE—Studies) demonstrate that childhood abuse, neglect, and abandonment are more common than most of us realize and affect our adult health and relationships. Abused children often bond with each other as adults (It’s our subconscious attempt to heal old wounds). Whether we’re passionately for Donald Trump or passionately against him, we probably have some healing to do.”
I said that an old kind of masculinity was on the way out. My colleague Riane Eisler describes two competing systems that humans engage in that she calls the dominance system and the cooperation system. All over the world emotionally traumatized men who rise to power have chosen a dominant approach to claim power.
The old authoritarian systems were run by fearful men who believed that the only way to survive was to rule by force. Historian Ruth Ben-Ghiat describes these men in her book, Strong: Mussolini to date. He says,
“For our age is the age of authoritarian rulers: self-proclaimed saviors of the nation who avoid accountability while robbing their people of the truth, treasure and protections of democracy.”
Among the seventeen protagonists of her book are: Adolf Hitler, Saddam Hussein, Benito Mussolini, Vladimir Putin and Donald J. Trump. Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist Anne Applebaum describes how modern authoritarians support each other in her book, Autocracy Inc.: Dictators who want to rule the world.
“Today, autocracies are supported by sophisticated networks made up of multiple regimes… Authoritarians are rewriting the rules of global trade and governance as their propagandists feed them the same messages about the weakness of democracy and the evil of America.”
Ben-Ghiat concludes,
“The real issue, personified by the two people running for president, is the political system that Americans will live in in 2025 and beyond: a democratic system, guided by the rule of law, or an empire characterized by the rule of outlaws and criminals. charge;”
As an evolutionarily trained psychotherapist, I have learned that when people feel their lives are in danger, they tend to fall back on the comfort of their tribal group for safety and support. Our political parties have become like rival tribes convinced that the “other group” will destroy us. The problem for us now is that a party is led by a man who feels aligned with other authoritarian leaders in the world and is a danger to himself and others.
Because the future of the Republic can be in the hands of the people
It’s clear listening to Kamala Harris why her election would be good for women. But there are many reasons it’s good for men too. Many women have husbands, brothers, sons, uncles and other males in their lives. Programs that support women also support men.
Many men and women recognize that Donald Trump is a dictator in the making and if he is brought to power he will harm men, women and children, other human beings and the planet we all share.
What most of us don’t know is that getting more men to vote for the Harris/Walz ticket may be the critical difference in who occupies the White House and has power over our lives in the future.
Journalist Mark W. Sutton has written a fascinating new book, How Democrats Can Win Men Back: Why Understanding Male Voters and Their Issues Is Vital to Democratic Victory. Sutton’s book has drawn praise from many colleagues working in the men’s health field, including Dr. Warren Farrell, author of several books including The boys crisis, who says
“How Democrats Can Win Men Back it could be the most important book ever written both for winning Democrats in 2024 and reversing the Democratic party’s loss of men in the coming decades.”
In his chapter,
“Men are the biggest and lowest hanging fruit for Democrats”
Sutton says,
“For the last 40 years, men have been Republicans and women Democrats. Since Democrats are doing so well with women, they just need to do a little better with men to have a much better chance of winning the White House and fighting congressional races. Men make up 48.7% of voters in the presidential election. Winning an extra percentage of men in swing states would make a difference.”
Richard Reeves, founder of the Institute for Boys and Men, wrote a recent article, “The Masculinity Election.” He says,
“The 2024 vote was going to be a referendum on women’s rights. Instead, there has been a discussion about men’s needs and desires. The question now is which male model will win in November. The macho brawler of the Trump-Vance ticket or the suave “daddy’s girl” offered by Harris and Walz? The fighter or the trainer?’
He goes on to note,
“There is a large gender gap in voting intentions. Among likely female voters, Harris leads Trump by 14 points (55% to 41%) in the latest New York Times/Siena College poll, while Trump leads by 17 points among men (56% to 39%). The gender gap among younger voters is particularly stark, with women under 30 moving left while their male peers move right.”
What you can do to support democracy for men, women and children
- Reach out to men you know and let them know what is at stake in this election.
At MenAlive I support men and their families to embrace the partnership system and recently created a way for organizations and individuals to believe in these ideas and practices to stay connected. You can find out more on our website, MoonshotforMankind.org and get news you can use on our substack, substack.com/@moonshotformankind.
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