When I wrote about the Kivin method recently, I was overwhelmed by the response. It wasn’t just that people did it — they swore by it. It is a type of cunnilingus (oral to vulva sex), where the donor is perpendicular to the recipient. This technique is so simple, but for many it is a serious game changer. It’s a fun and different sex position that allows stimulation of the clitoris, vulva and perineum from the side, which can allow more access to sensitive areas. greater arousal; and increased pleasure, leading to more intense orgasms.
This simple technique is among the best sex positions for women and can transform your oral game to excite you. Just as there are variations of the missionary sex position, this adaptation to traditional oral is one of the simplest ways to be a better lover.
Here’s the quick and dirty how to do the Kivin method.
Illustrated by Katie Buckleitner
What is the Kivin Method?
The Kivin method is an oral sex position that prioritizes comfort, ease of access and pleasure for both partners. When taking oral, many feel nervous about taking too long and worry about their partner’s comfort rather than the pleasure between their legs.
It’s also worth noting that when giving oral, many partners put up with discomfort because they want to do a good job. They want to make their partner feel good. In theory, this is great, but in practice you could end up with a strained muscle and may not be able to stay in the position for very long. By focusing on alignment, this method aims to create a more enjoyable experience for everyone.
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How to do the Kivin method
- The receiver lies on their back in a way that feels comfortable for them.
- The donor then lies vertically (imagine a T shape) on the recipient, positioned to view the vulva from the side.
- This may be easier with the receiver’s leg slightly raised or held against his chest. Once you’re in position, the donor can explore the entire vulva (including the perineum!) using any technique, pace, or pressure they wish.
- As always, be guided by the receiver — ask about what feels good or what could make the experience even better.
Benefits of the Kivin Method
The placement of the Kivin method allows for precise stimulation. By allowing access to sensitive areas, it can greatly increase pleasure for the receiving partner while giving the giving partner more control over the experience. One of the main advantages of the Kivin method is its emphasis on reducing physical strain. The giving partner can maintain a more relaxed attitude. This alignment helps both partners stay comfortable and focused on pleasure.
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Why does it feel so good?
We already know that the clitoris is home to thousands of sensitive nerve endings, but the clitoris is much larger than the outer tip. And it can be really pleasurable to lick around the clitoris, labia, urethral opening, vaginal opening and the entire vulva.
Licking or touching the clitoris from a vertical angle gives you more access to the surrounding erogenous zones such as the labia and the perineum (area between the vagina and the anus). It also makes fingering easier at the same time, as many people like mixed mouth and finger stimulation.
For the donor, this angle is more comfortable as they can lean more easily. Additionally, you can use sex pillows (or regular pillows) for better alignment and support.
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How to embed the Kivin method
You may feel nervous about discussing new sexual experiences and trying something for the first time. If you’re nervous, you can always send them this article and see what they say. Or you can try this approach:
1. Talk about it
Before introducing the Kivin Method, have an open discussion with your partner about your interest in this position. Discuss how you both feel when you try it and how you would like to incorporate it into sex.
2. Practice and play
Feel free to experiment with different variations of the Kivin method to find what works best for both of you. I like to break them down in practice and play sessions. First practice this new position by agreeing with your partner that it will be free of targets, then play with the new skill.
3. Focus on Comfort
Use pillows or cushions to support your body and make sure both people are comfortable. A supportive setting can enhance the overall experience and allow both partners to relax.
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4. Hone the skill
As with any new technique, getting comfortable with the Kivin method can take some time. Sex is a skill and sometimes it takes a little practice to learn what you like. Encourage the accepting partner to be descriptive about what feels good. speak up if they want you to pause, stop or try something else. and create an environment in your sexual relationship in which you can develop oral sex skills together.
5. Level Up
Once you feel comfortable, try adding sex toys for external or internal stimulation (eg nipple clamps, anal beads and vibrators). This position frees up your hands to create more sensation: caress your partner’s thighs, use your fingers to digitally stimulate other erogenous zones, or grab his bum. Lubricant is always a great idea, especially if you are internally stimulated.
And remember, you don’t have to be an expert first! This is a very simple adjustment to the oral sex position that can be a complete game changer.
Because you have to trust me
I am a certified sex coach. journalist; and its co-founder Normala sexual wellness company that provides educational courses and products for those exploring sexuality and sex toys. I am also the author of the upcoming book, The modern guide to sex. My specialty is physical sex, characterized by bodily awareness and the science of human sexuality. My goal is to normalize the conversation around intimacy, sex, and relationships.
