If you’ve been on a fertility journey, you already know there’s a lot more to it than appointments and lab results. The emotional toll of grief, self-blame, and obsessive eating rules is real, and it’s often the part that gets left out of the conversation.
Recently, I sat in the Nutrition Awareness Podcast with Kerri-Anne Brownlicensed mental health counselor here in Orlando specializing in reproductive and maternal health. What unfolded was one of the most honest conversations I’ve had about what women go through when trying to conceive and how nutrition and mental health are more intertwined than most people realize.
Whether you’re actively trying to conceive, have a fertility diagnosis, or are just starting to think about your reproductive health, this post is for you.
The Emotional Side of Fertility She doesn’t talk about anyone
As a fertility dietitian, I get a taste of what women carry emotionally when they sit down with me. But Kerri-Anne put language to something I see all the time: the grief that cannot be named.
When a pregnancy test is negative, when a cycle fails, when your schedule doesn’t go as planned, that’s grief. From the outside, fertility may seem like a logistical problem to solve. From the inside, it’s an identity crisis, a relationship stress test, and an experience of loss all rolled into one.
Kerri-Anne also named something called identity erosionthat slow loss of self that happens when the fertility journey is all-consuming. Women forget who they are outside of trying to conceive. And when someone who was labeled as “healthy, problem-free” suddenly faces challenges, it can shake her sense of self to the core.
Why high-achieving women struggle more
This is the pattern I see over and over again in my nutrition practice in Orlando: Women who are most driven to “do everything right” are often the ones who unwittingly make things difficult.
Here’s why. The desire to control something, anything, in an uncontrolled process is completely understandable. Food becomes that lever. If I eat perfectly, follow every fertility diet rule, cut out gluten, seed oils, dairy and sugar… maybe then it will work.
But here’s the cruel irony Kerri-Anne returns to in the episode: rigidity itself becomes a source of chronic stress.And chronic stress, we know, can affect reproductive health. Not by causing infertility (that’s an important distinction), but by signaling your body that it’s not safe.
Your reproductive system is not your body’s top priority. Survival is. If your nervous system is in a constant state of threat from over-restriction, over-exercise, over-scheduling and insufficient rest, your body will steal resources from your reproductive system to keep your heart beating and your lungs moving. Your ovaries are not necessary for survival. Hosting a baby isn’t something your body will prioritize if it doesn’t feel safe.
What a fertility dietitian is really looking for
When a new client comes to me as an Orlando dietitian focused on reproductive nutrition, here’s what I really assess:
1. Are you eating enough? This sounds basic, but it’s the most common loophole I find. Not just calories, but plenty of complex carbohydrates, dietary fat, protein, fiber, iron, B12 and folate. Each of these plays a role in hormone production, egg quality and fetal development. A diet too low in healthy fats, for example, can impair your body’s ability to synthesize hormones. I experienced this firsthand when I missed my period for 14 months in my 20s due to restrictive eating and overtraining.
2. Is the exercise-rest ratio off? Exercising too much with low fuel is one of the biggest red flags I look for. High step goals, daily boot camps, intense training combined with restricted nutrition can push your body into this survival mode. More activity is not always more useful.
3. Are you really honest about what you eat? Many clients come in with a perfect food diary on day one. I’m getting over it gently. Are weekends different? Is there late night grazing after eating clean all day? Do you feel out of control sometimes? Getting to the real picture matters.
4. Are there nutritional gaps hiding in plain sight? I run functional labs like ferritin, iron stores, B12 and more to see what’s really going on below the surface. No amount of healthy eating you self-report tells me what your labs are doing.
5. What is the status of supplements? If your supplement list contains more than five or six items that were not prescribed by a provider with no financial stake in the products, we need to talk. Some supplements actually support fertility. CoQ10 for egg quality, for example, is well supported. Others are redundant, overlapping or potentially problematic. Simplification often provides enormous relief.
If you are a fan of protein bars, you might like to read about the best protein bars for fertility.
The Food Belief That Most Harms Fertility
There is no bad food that causes fertility problems.
No gluten. No dairy. No sugar. No seed oils.
The context of your overall diet matters far more than any one food. I have worked with women who are afraid of bread, while at the same time eating little, over exercising and sleeping five hours a night. The bread is not the problem.
What I want women to know: Eating enough consistent, balanced, nutritious meals is the most powerful nutritional fertility signal you can send your body. It tells your nervous system: we have the energy and building blocks to support life.
This means the protein binds to blood sugar and prevents cravings. Complex carbohydrates like oats, sweet potatoes and beans for sustained energy and micronutrients. Dietary fat for hormone synthesis and organ protection. Fiber that supports digestion and removes excess hormones from the body. And yes, it also means the after-dinner brownie that signals to your brain that it’s time to rest. Nourishing your soul is not separate from nurturing your fertility.
The story you tell yourself
One of the highlights of my conversation with Kerri-Anne was about narrativethe stories women tell about what their fertility struggles mean to them.
My body is letting me down. I’m broken. i’m not enough
Practical steps to support your fertility through nutrition
If you’re on a fertility journey and wondering where to start, here’s what I’ll focus on:
- Eat consistently throughout the day. Skipping meals or going long stretches without food disrupts blood sugar and stress hormones.
- Don’t be afraid of carbs. Complex carbohydrates are fuel, and eating too little of them can impair sleep and hormone function.
- Eat enough fat. Dietary fat is essential for the synthesis of hormones that support reproduction.
- Simplify your supplements. More is not better. Focus on a quality prenatal and a few evidence-based supplements.
- Control your exercise. If you make more than your food intake can support, your body will choose survival over reproduction every time.
- Stop chasing the perfect fertility diet. The stress it creates can do more harm than “bad” food.
Working with a Fertility Dietitian in Orlando
If you’re looking for an Orlando dietitian who understands the intersection of nutrition science and the psychology of nutrition, especially as it relates to reproductive and hormonal health, that’s exactly what we do at Nutrition Awareness.
We commission functional workshops, create fully personalized nutrition plans and provide real accountability support, whether you want daily check-ins or monthly. We work with women dealing with fertility, PCOS, perimenopause and everything in between.
You can see our transparent prices and make an appointment at nutritionawareness.com.
And if the emotional side of your fertility journey is what weighs the most right now, Kerri-Anne Brown at healingwithwisdom.com it’s a great resource.
You don’t have to carry it yourself. And your body is not your enemy.
Kait Richardson is a registered dietitian nutritionist based in Orlando, Florida and the host of the Nutrition Awareness Podcast. She is its author How to eat like a normal person and TEDx speaker specializing in the psychology of nutrition.
