“Zebras” are often the target of sports contempt for fans
By Barbara Pierce
“I love this part!” my granddaughter Crystal exclaimed to me with a big smile and then put a loud blast on her whistle. “Out of bounds!” she called out to the volleyball players, with a confidence in her voice that I had never heard before.
Crystal High School is taking a sports referee course. She invited me to watch a volleyball match where the student would be the referee.
As I watched her, I was delighted to see a side of her emerge that I had never seen before. Normally shy and stuck up, now she was out there, making the calls, with her coach by her side, cheering her on. It seems that wearing the uniform and being expected to act a certain way worked for her.
He learns much more than how to foul and the rules of winning. Learning much more than gaining confidence. He is learning valuable life lessons both on and off the field.
“Life lessons can be found in the strangest of places, like the well-manicured soccer fields that are my domain most weekends,” says an anonymous youth coach referee online. “It is a shame that the behavior of the parents, coaches and players who inhabit these stadiums is not so well groomed. Most of the time the opposite happens.
“They are bound to dislike me. But that’s exactly why I took lessons that will help me in all aspects of life. Some are obvious: teamwork, leadership, nerves, confidence and courage. He taught me the value of hard work, responsibility, toughness and, above all, stability when I’m all alone.”
“As a soccer referee, it’s been a learning curve,” says George Gately online at Referee.com. “What started out as a way to exercise and earn extra dollars was a virtual advanced degree in human relations. It has benefited every area of my life. Lessons about exercising authority, handling mistakes, teamwork, human nature, and life goals were the unanticipated prerequisites of refereeing.”
Serving as a referee means learning a lot — most of which apply not only to sports, but to life. From Gately and others, here are some of the life lessons Crystal will learn:
— Be flexible. A good referee must adapt to the game of the day. Stay flexible and embrace change. You can’t control the unexpected. Be prepared to expect the unexpected.
Face your own mistakes
— Sometimes you are wrong. Mistakes happen. handle them quickly. Each referee scores a few in each game. Be happy if you leave with few and small mistakes. Big mistakes haunt good referees for weeks. Big or small, mistakes are the vehicles that can take you to the next level.
— Be accountable, evaluate, decide and move on. Admit your mistakes.
— Evaluate the error quickly. Don’t dwell on it and let it taint the game. Answer the questions “What happened?” and “Why did it happen?” Decide on a simple strategy to avoid repeating the same mistake and move on.
Everyone else wants to put it behind them. Don’t be the one keeping it alive. Whatever you do, don’t try to “liven up the score” with an ill-advised makeup look.
— Do not dwell on any mistake. This leads to more, and bigger, mistakes.
— Not everyone will like what you decide. You can’t please everyone and in a game, someone will get angry with your decision. Parents, coaches or players often disagree with the calls.
Some of them can become very nasty and angry. Was it offside or not? Was it foul or not? Despite others’ ‘perspectives’ on important duties of the referee such as recognizing fouls, managing players, flow of play and conflict management, the game must go on.
— Remember it’s none of your business. Few of us enjoy being yelled at and cursed at. However, such is the fate of sports executives. Not to please everyone or to make others happy or to justify every decision, but to ensure a safe, fair, enjoyable game is the referee’s job. Enforcing the rules is the best method available for this purpose.
Just because people scream, criticize, or question your inherent intelligence doesn’t mean you’re doing badly. In fact, it can mean just the opposite.
— Expect disagreements from time to time, but don’t look for it. Try to get comfortable with discomfort, realizing that it is a necessary part of being in charge of the game.
— Find a way to have fun. Take what you do seriously, but never take yourself seriously. There’s very little worth doing if you’re not having fun. Fun should be an important part of your life.
• Barbara Pierce is a retired licensed clinical social worker with many years of experience helping people. If you would like to purchase a copy of her book, When You Come to the Edge: Aging, or have questions for her, please contact her at barbarapierce06@yahoo.com.
