Long Live Men: emerging communities that support mature masculinity
In Part 1, I discussed the origin of my own search for masculinity that grew up with a father’s absence. I also presented you to Michael Gurian and Sean Kullman and their book, Boys, a Rescue Plan: Moving beyond the politics of masculinity in the development of health men. In Part 2, I expanded the discussion to use the work of other colleagues who recognize that healthy masculinity, such as healthy femininity, are opposite aspects of the same coin and must be supported together for the good of all. In Part 3, I described the work of psychologist Jungian Robert Moore and mythologist Douglas Gillette and the exploration of the four archetypes of mature masculinity they wrote in their book, King, warrior, magician and lover: Discovering the archetypes of the mature male.
In this last part of the series I want to talk about three archetypes of masculinity expressed today in the world today and because only one of them offers real hope for the future of men, women, children, humanity and the community of life on planet Earth.
Since I returned 81 years old in December 2024, I have reflected in what I learned in my life as a human being. I try to describe my own evolution from a life based on what Moore and Gillette call “Boy Psychology” on a healthy, balanced, mature male psychology. We see examples of boys’ psychology around us. Here are some examples from the book Moore and Gillette:
- The political leader of duck and diving.
- The beater woman.
- The company “Yes man”.
- Minister “Holier Than You”.
- The gang member.
- The father who can never find the time to attend his daughter’s school schedule.
- The therapist who unconsciously affects the “shines” of customers and is looking for a kind of gray regulation for them.
“All of these men have something in common,” say Moore and Gillette. ‘Are all boys who pretend to be men. They honestly got in this way, because no one showed them what a mature person is. The kind of “male” is a pretense for male age that goes largely detected as such by most of us. We continue to confuse, control, threatened and hostile to this man power behavior. In fact, it presents an underlying extreme vulnerability and weakness, the vulnerability of the injured boy. ”
The two archetypes of injured boys pretending to be men
Reflecting my experiences in my life, what I see with the thousands of boys and the men I have advised over the years and what is reflected in our current government in the US, I see two dominant archetypes that form the basis of his behavior Injured boys pretending for men:
First is what Moore and Gillett describe The Tyrannos of High Planning.
“The High Tourist without without,” says Moore and Gillette, “is highlighted by the image of Little Lord Fauntleroy sitting in his trolley, hitting the album and screaming for his mother to feed him, kiss him and watch him.”
As a only kid lifted by a mom, I developed many of these trends in my childhood. They also returned to my adult life in my relationships with women and contributed to my two failed marriages. I was lucky to have received support to heal and grow up and now I got married with my wife, Carlin, for forty -five years.
“Highless Tyrannos,” says Moore and Gillette, “hurts with his grandeur – the unlimited of his demands – because he rejects the very things he needs for life: food and love.”
Moore and Gillette summarize the following characteristics of the High Tyrannus:
- Arrogance (what Greeks are called Hubris, or overwhelming pride).
- Childhood (in a negative sense).
- Irresponsibility, even to himself as a mortal being who must meet his biological and psychological needs.
- The High Care Tyrran must find out that it is not the center of the universe and that the universe does not exist to fulfill every need, or better to put its unlimited needs, its intentions for the deity.
I suspect that we can all recognize many of these characteristics to boys and men we know – from government centers to government to leaders and men in our own families and communities.
The second archetype of boys’ psychology described by Moore and Gillette is The weak prince.
“The boy (and later the man) possessed by the weak prince must be coddled, who dictates to those around him by his silent or whining and protests weakness.”
As adults, those who hold the weak archetypal prince often become “Mr. Nice children.” Dr. Robert Glover, author of the book NO MORE NIKO says,
“A good guy is a man who believes he is not okay as he is. Due to both social and family preparation, good guy is convinced that this should be done think Others want to be for them to like, love and meet his needs. He also believes that he has to hide anything for himself that can cause a negative response to others. ”
He continues to say: “This non -authentic and chameleon approach to life causes nice guys to feel frustrated, confused and unhappy. Then these men are often anything else beautiful. In fact, beautiful children are generally dishonest, secret, manipulative, controlled, self-centered and passive-inquisitive. ”
Historian, Ruth Ben-Giat, describes political leaders led by boys’ psychology in her book, Strongmen: Mussolini in the present.
“For ours is the time of authoritarian leaders: self -proclaimed saviors of the nation who avoid accountability while robbing the people of truth, treasure and protection of democracy. They use masculinity as a symbol of power and a political weapon. corruption and violence to remain in power.
The rise of mature masculinity communities
In my book, 12 rules for good men, I describe my own journey that leads to mature masculinity, Menalive, the organization I founded and other organizations I work with. I describe our work in an article, “Menalive Now: taking action to support our children”.
In the introduction of the archetypes of mature masculinity Moore and Gillette, they say,
“Those of us who have been influenced by the thought of the great Swiss psychologist Carl Jung have a great reason to hope that the external shortages we have encountered in the world as prospective men (the father is absent, the immature father, the lack of essential rituals).
They continue to say: “It is our experience that deep in every human being is plans, what we can also call” hard wiring “for calm and positive mature male. The Jungians refer to these male dynamics as archetypes or” primary images “. Jung called “collective unconscious”, consisting of instinctive patterns and energy configurations, probably genetically heirs in all generations of our species. “
Moore and Gillette describe four mature masculine archetypes – the king, the warrior, the magician and the lover. The mature man incorporates all four of these primary actions.
“The king’s energy is primarily to all men,” says Moore and Gillette. “Two functions of King Energy make it possible to move from boys’ psychology to human psychology. The first of these is the order. The second provides fertility and blessing.”
Royal energy brings order to the people of
“The king is the central archetype,” says Moore and Gillette. “The good king is at the center of the world. He stands on his throne on the central mountain, or in Primeval Hill, as the ancient Egyptians called it.”
(Remember – don’t confuse the king’s archetype with cosmic kings who have a high chair of tyrants, rather than mature male leaders.
Moore and Gillette offer the example of Sioux Medical Man Black Elk described by John Neihardt in his book, Black Elk is talking. Black Elk talks about the world as a big “wreath” divided by two trails, a “red path” and a “black path” intersecting. Where they intersect is the central mountain of the world. It is on this mountain that the Great Father God – the King of Energy – provokes and gives Black Elk a series of revelations about his people.
The mature man leader reduces and receives guidance from “Great Father God” and gives his people his rules and laws to follow for the good of the people and the communities of life that all people depend on.
King’s energy brings abundance and blessings to his people
“In conjunction with its order function, the second vital good manifests by Energy King is fertility and blessing.”
The mature male leader sees the good in every creation and supports the creation of a new life for both humans and the kingdoms of animals and plants and recognizes that all life is linked.
The mature male leader achieves this, is an example in his life for what he gives to others. Like all people, it makes mistakes, but is able to recognize them when they happen and do not blame others. He is not a god separate from his people, but a man who paints in the gifts of the gods and archetypal legacies from millions of years of human history.
Don’t lose hope. We were made for these moments
These are difficult times. We live in a country where boys’ psychology seems to be running ruthless and the human species lives in ways that are not viable. There are times when I feel I give up and I just want to give and let go. But I was fortunate enough to connect with more and more men who aspire to mature masculinity and believe that mature masculinity is not only possible but it is hope for our collective future.
As a Czech politician, Václav Havel, observed,
“Today, many things show that we are going through a transitional period when it seems that something is on the road and something else is painfully born. It is like something that collapses, disintegrates and exhausted, while something else, still unquestionable, emerged from the ruins.”
I wrote about it in a recent article, “free finally: overcoming our addiction to the wreck of culture”.
As my friend and my colleague Clarissa Pinkola Estes says,
“Don’t miss the heart. We were made for these times … For years we have learned, we practice, we are in training for … And we are just waiting to meet this exact plain of commitment. ”
If you want to know more, leave me a note on: jed@menalive.com and put “mature masculinity” on the subject line.
