For anyone who isn’t familiar with her, I have to say – my mom is epic. He’s joined me on the show a few times in the past and we’ve covered a number of topics, including the sex tape. Susan: you are real.
So who better to talk to about sex, sexuality and aging? We will all get old someday (or we will the moment enjoying the hot seat of old age), so I hope these conversations with Susan help you know what to expect – and look forward to – in your sex life in your golden years. Plus, it’s hilarious, so if nothing else, you’ll have a lot of fun.
You can enjoy our episode in audio/video format coming this week, but I’ve picked the highlights of our conversation for your reading pleasure.
“How did hormonal fluctuations affect you and your sex life as you got older?”
My mom said that the transition to menopause wasn’t too difficult for her until she was in her 70s. “I lost interest in sex. My body changed,” she said. “I was very proud of my legs and then whenever I stopped the skin would hold move.”
My mom comes from a generation where there weren’t really solutions for women going through menopause. Nothing helps their skin tone (aka “moving” skin) or their sex drive. I showed her what I’m up to now – Solaray is the STAGES line of supplements of her life – and said, “I’d love to have something like that.”
I am currently taking some of the STAGES life formulas, the Libido supplement and the Menopause supplementand they helped dramatically. Night sweats – gone – natural lubrication – much better – and she said she wanted to get her gym buddies some of these things.*
Gym buddies, if you’re reading! The main ingredient of the Libido supplement is ashwagandha, clinically proven to help with sex drive. A 2023 review in healthy women found that consumption of ashwagandha root extract positively affects sexual function. Plus, it helps boost your mood and calm occasional stress, two things that absolutely have an impact on your libido.*
The menopause supplement contains science-backed saffron and orange extract to help with body composition, weight and sleep changes, and for me it has made this time much more comfortable.*
“Did you find that different times of the month affected your sex drive?”
“Overall,” she said, which makes sense — for women, arousal tends to peak closer to ovulation. Speaking of circles, period sex it’s not as taboo as it used to be, but Susan told me that the period itself was horrible for her. “They didn’t have ibuprofen when I was coming in and I had my period,” she said. “You just used a hot towel! I was like a prairie woman trying to deal with these things.”
Thank God we have ibuprofen now? And another shout out to the STAGES of her life, specifically the Premenstrual formula and menstruation to predict what women need each month and provide consistent support. It’s anchored by chasteberry and saffron to help brighten your mood and ease menstrual discomfort like breast tenderness.* Look up the research on chasteberry and saffron – it’s pretty exciting – and this formula delivers.
“Do you think men sit around and talk to each other about sex?”
Susan said absolutely not. At least not the men of her generation. “Golf swings yes, sex life no,” he said.
But she said her heart goes out to men because it’s harder to get an erection as they get older and they often feel like they have no one to talk to about it. But they can listen to the show!
It’s funny, because when Viagra came out in 1998, it was a big game changer for men dealing with this issue. The problem is, even though it helped them suddenly get an erection, the communication wasn’t always there with their partners to co-create equally satisfying sex lives. “That’s why I tell people to listen to your show, you always talk about communication,” Susan said. Thanks mom.
And by the way, if you are a man experiencing unpredictable erections right now, here is an article that will help you.
Have you ever been in a situational situation before?
“Yes!” he said, and it honestly sounded like a lot of fun. “I knew I wasn’t going to marry the man, but it was fun while it lasted,” she said. Healthy attitude there.
Things are more at their zenith now, and my personal opinion is that if everyone is clear with their expectations and is on the same page, great! But in case you need some support there, Here’s a Best Of show we did recently about conscious, casual sex.
What are your red flags?
“My two big ones are communication and being cheap,” he said. It’s good to know your non-negotiables!
The golden rule of sex and communication is: your sex life improves in direct proportion to your communication skills. Most people think they are already good communicators, but if you’ve ever found yourself tongue-tied in bed or not knowing how to ask for what you want, or I feel like the boundaries are hard…
Come join us at SmartSX! It’s a members-only app for community training and sex. I created this as a safe space for people who know that sex is important to them and want to develop skills in every area. Communication with your partner, sexual technique, understanding your actions and how to be an amazing lover.
We do AMAs, live coaching, guest workshops with my favorite sex experts, and learn everyday how to improve our sex lives. I think you will like it here.
And for natural relief and support during menstruation, perimenopause, menopause, postmenopauseOr to help your sex drive, take a look The life of the STAGES of Solaray. Take them examination to find out which formula is right for you!
*Results may vary. these statements represent my experience with the products. These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA. These products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.
