Anger often gets a bad rap, and this is due to the fact that people often confuse it with aggression. But let me reassure you that anger is not a problem. In fact, it is necessary. When they handle constructively, it helps our children support themselves, ensure that their needs and boundaries are satisfied, identify and “correctly” mistakes and manage great emotions. What is important does not prevent our children from feeling angry. Instead, we want to teach them how to be angry in healthy and adaptive ways.
4 healthy ways of teaching your child to express anger
As our children grow up and grow, they are constantly learning and counting on how to understand and manage their great emotions. Research tells us how vital this process is – children who develop emotional adjustment skills are more likely to achieve socially and academically.1 However, when children learn to suppress their feelings (yes, anger, I talk to you), these feelings or the underlying needs do not leave. And can appear in more annoying or unhealthy ways under the line.2 Well, let’s explore how we can help our children express their anger without hurting themselves or others:
1. Name it and normalize it
In order for anger to tame, our little ones must first understand what anger is, because it happens and that it is a normal feeling and response to the things that happen to their world. When we tell them, “it’s okay to feel angry” or “to have angry feelings are normal”, we teach them that emotions are just messages and nothing should be afraid or worried. And when we give these names of emotions (such as “upset”, “frustrated” or “frustrated”), it helps them to process their emotions more effectively.3 The labeling or name of their emotions is actually the first step to learn to regulate themselves. This also helps to improve their ability to manage and respond to great emotions and reduce behavioral problems.4
2. Model is cool, calm and collected
Tiny people learn directly from the way we handle ourselves. They look at what we do and say when we feel a series of emotions. This gives them a plan on how to react to similar circumstances. So if we can maintain calm and ensure that we are respected even when they remember, we can show our children how to do it. This is believed to happen through co-regulation, which is when one child learns or processes something due to support from someone else. In this case, that “someone” is their parent or caregiver (that is, they learn how to handle anger when they see how you manage it).2
3. Help them to channel it (safely)
Have you ever told you to “calm down” when you felt disappointed? And when did it work? Probably. . . When. Telling our children to calm down when they have a collapse is just as ineffective. On the contrary, we must help them to channel their great feelings safely so as not to harm themselves or others. One idea is to create “Stampy Feet”, where you design or print fingerprints that can seal, come out or jump to get their big feelings out. Or if they feel like shouting, you could encourage them to sing a song really loudly. They can also make stars jumps, bounce into a trampoline, or run on the spot to shift the extra energy coming with angry emotions. Another major strategy is dependence or crumpled paper or compression and pull of the Playdough.5
4. Sign in and reflect
Through your child’s collapse, it is not time for lecture or learning. But when the dust is installed, it is important to relax with them for what happened. Name the feeling and reaction you saw and then work on some healthy strategies. For example: “Hey Buddy, I know you felt so crazy that your sister won’t share her game, but instead of shouting and grabbing her game, what could we do the next time we feel crazy?” You could then offer more effective strategies for the situation. Essentially, we want to shape problems and reinforce that you are a safe person and space for them, even when they fight.6
The bottom line
Teaching our children to truly feel their anger and properly express this feeling is vital to their general well -being. This is not just about avoiding collapse. These are their equipment with skills they will use throughout their lives, such as durability, empathy and emotional intelligence. If our children understand that anger is just a message (and an important thing in it!), They can learn to experience, exploit and manage it without shame.
