Does the fun in the bedroom end prematurely more often than you’d like? Read this
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Do you have trouble controlling your orgasm? Have you had to awkwardly apologize to your partner more than once when the fun ended earlier than you both wanted? Do you start feeling anxious before intercourse even begins because you have a history of premature ejaculation?
Don’t freak out – you’re not alone. Up to one in three men experience premature ejaculation at some point in their lives. It’s so normal, in fact, that the Mayo Clinic considers premature ejaculation a “common sexual complaint” and insists that as long as it happens once in a while, you have nothing to worry about.
RELATED: Everything you need to know about premature ejaculation
“We’re actually diagnosing ‘rapid’ ejaculation now, not premature,” says Nicole Prause, Ph.D, a scientist at Liberos. “Many men who self-identify as coming very quickly are actually no faster to orgasm than other men when tested, so the first thing to consider if you’re concerned is whether your experiences might be normal.”
While there isn’t exactly a golden rule to help diagnose premature ejaculation, Prause says you shouldn’t worry if you’re having penetrative vaginal intercourse just two minutes before orgasm. In fact, you should only Really Consider it a problem if you almost always find yourself ejaculating within a minute of penetration, are unable to delay ejaculation, and/or feel frustrated to the point that you avoid sexual intimacy altogether. At that point, it might be worth a visit to the doctor for a legitimate diagnosis.
Prause assures that if you want to increase ejaculation latency, you will be able to do so with the treatment. “Most men who report this difficulty are actually lasting within the ‘normal’ range,” he shares, noting that if you do have sex with women, most won’t want long, quick intercourse, as it rarely leads to climax.
“You may develop better oral sex skills, slower touch, and similar positive sex habits because of the shorter ejaculation latency that makes you a superior lover,” she adds.
If you’re still worried that you might be having trouble ejaculating too quickly during sex, read on to see what might be causing it (and how it’s best treated).
What makes men ejaculate too quickly?
“There is some evidence that men with rapid ejaculation are more sensitive to their genitalia and more responsive to visual sexual stimulation,” says Prause. It’s worth noting that while several factors can contribute to rapid ejaculation, you may be surprised to find that most are not physical.
Psychological problems such as anxiety and depression can worsen this condition and are much more common than a specific physical condition such as increased sensitivity, prostate inflammation or a spinal cord problem. To better understand your problem, your doctor will need to discuss your sexual history with you. Remember that they are healthcare professionals and have heard this all before, so be open and honest. The more your doctor knows, the better he can help you with your treatment.
How to properly deal with premature ejaculation
Sometimes, premature ejaculation goes away on its own in a few weeks or months without many visits to the doctor’s office. De-stressing is the best way to start, so treat yourself to some R&R and see how it goes.
And the most important; Don’t blame yourself or feel inadequate in any way, as this can exacerbate the problem. If it helps, talk openly with your partner to avoid miscommunication. According to Prause, the following three solutions are the best for treating premature ejaculation:
Compression techniques
If you have the feeling that you are about to ejaculate prematurely, you or your partner can press the shaft of the penis just below the head with the thumb on one side and the index fingers on the other. Press for about 20 seconds, release and you can resume your sexual activity.
When done effectively over an extended period of time, the technique allows you to delay ejaculation with compression. Eventually, as you become more comfortable with your sexual prowess and endurance, you will eventually learn to successfully delay orgasm without tightening. This practice can be repeated as often as needed and often requires open communication with your partner.
Scented Creams
Another possible treatment includes prescription drugs that help delay ejaculation. These anesthetic creams and sprays contain a numbing agent, such as benzocaine, lidocaine, or prilocaine, which should be applied to the penis 10 to 15 minutes before sex to reduce sensation and then delay ejaculation.
“Numbing creams are really helpful for men, but [as] These also penetrate your partner, do not use them without your partner’s consent,” advises Prause.
RELATED: Penile Health, De-Mystified
Although local anesthetics are effective, they also have potential side effects that must be considered. Some men report a temporary loss of sensitivity, as well as reduced sexual pleasure. Sometimes through contact with the treated penis, female partners also report these effects.
Antidepressants
“The goal with medications is not to stay on them for the rest of your life, so you can plan to try a medication for a shorter period (one to three months) and see if it improves to the point where you may not need it anymore them,” says Prause. “Anorgasmic results are very fast, so a ‘trial’ month may be enough to experiment with the effects of a drug-induced orgasm delay.”
When this type of medication is given to treat premature ejaculation, it can help delay orgasm for several minutes. Medications used for this type of treatment include selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), such as fluoxetine, and tricyclic antidepressants.
The biggest thing to remember when dealing with premature ejaculation is that, most of the time, what you’re dealing with is completely normal. And if these experiences become more common, there are a number of effective treatments to help. You just need to figure out what works best for you and your partner to ease your worries—and your penis.
The best products for premature ejaculation
Sometimes it pays to be prepared, and having one of these desensitizing creams on your bedside table can make all the difference.
Doc Johnson Sta-Erect Delay Cream
Using the numbing agent Benzocaine, 7.5% strength, even a small application of Doc Johnson’s Sta-Erect Delay Cream will help calm your nerves and make the fun last longer. According to the instructions, you need to apply this cream a full 10 minutes before you use it, so make sure you think ahead.
Adam & Eve Extra Strength Marathon Delay Spray
Using scientifically proven Benzocaine as a desensitizer, Extra Strength Marathon Delay Spray from Adam & Eve will prolong your pleasure and help you maintain an erection, even with a very small application.
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