Have you ever thought about seeing a sexual therapist for help with sexual problem?
If the question makes you feel uncomfortable, you are not alone. The idea of discussing the complexities of a person’s sex life with a stranger can be embarrassed, especially if you find sex hard to speak. And sexual therapy can have an air of mystery around it. What exactly is going on during sessions?
Simply put, sexual therapy is a form of psychotherapy designed to cope with sexual problems for individuals and couples. For many, it provides a safe, structured way of dealing with many sexual problems. Treatment can help you see your condition in a healthier way and learn new skills you can apply at home.
To make the most of sexual treatment, it helps to consider the ingredients they work with. The reasons for the search for your treatment, your therapist, your relationship and your commitment to the process are all necessary.
(Note: Before you start sexual treatment, see your doctor for full medical examination. Many sexual problems have natural causes. For example, erectile dysfunction (ED) may be an early sign of heart disease or diabetes. The painful sex for the Women may be related to endometriosis or hormonal changes during menopause.)
Now, let’s take a closer look.
Your reasons
Why can you think about sexual therapy? There could be several reasons.
Therapists can help customers:
- Learn more about their sexuality, including anatomical aspects of sex
- Create communication skills so they can talk to sex partners
- Developing strategies and techniques to improve a couple’s sexual relationship
- Work through sexual orientation or gender identity
- Deal with previous sexual abuse or trauma
- Learn to manage unwanted sexual behaviors or coercion
Your therapist
Sexual therapists are trained professionals. They may be psychologists, doctors, social workers or other clinicians. They usually have postgraduate degrees and special education on sexual issues and counseling. Ask about credentials and licensing before you start. Your doctor may also make a referral or help you choose a therapist who specializes in your particular condition.
In order for sexual therapy to be successful, it is important to feel comfortable with your therapist. Most therapists understand that sex conversations can be difficult and intimidating. They are trained to put you comfortably and ask soft questions to allow you to open.
But not every relationship of therapist/customer does not work. If you do not feel a relationship with your therapist, it is okay to proceed and see a different provider. Do not be discouraged if it takes a while. The right therapist is out there for you.
Your partner
If you are part of a couple, you may or may not decide to come to your partner at the sessions. This decision is entirely yours.
However, keep in mind that sexual problems are often the problem of a couple. Sexual dysfunction in one partner can deeply affect the other partner and the dynamics of relationships. For example, if one partner is not interested in sex, the other partner may be worried about the relationship or wondering about a case. Or, if one experiences pain in penetration, the other may feel frustrated or scared to cause further pain.
It is difficult to talk about sex, even couples who have been together for a long time may have to work for their communication skills and cultivate their relationship. A therapist can help each partner understand each other’s perspective so that they can return to work as a team.
The environment
Sessions are usually held at the therapist’s office. Many therapists are planning their consultation areas to feel hospitable, relaxing and safe.
You may also have your internet healing session, using a secure video chat schedule. This arrangement is particularly suitable for people who cannot travel to their appointments or feel too uncomfortable talking about sexual issues in person. While most telemedicine sessions are still “face to face”, there is some distance between you and your therapist.
Sessions
So what happens when the session begins? This depends on the reasons why you are looking for treatment. But some issues are common:
- Sexual therapy is speech therapy. Your sessions should not include physical contacts or sexual intercourse, with partners or with the therapist.
- THere could be difficult, personal questions. Your therapist will probably ask you about your physical health, your relationship with your partner, upbringing and sexual education and your sex attitudes. You may also be asked about your sexual orientation, gender identity and any past sex trauma or domestic violence. It is important to answer these questions honestly. Remember that you are in a safe place and your therapist will understand if you feel reluctant or embarrassed to talk. Take the time you need. If you feel you can’t talk openly with this therapist, consider seeing a different one.
- There may be exercises and “homework”. Some therapists use role -playing activities to help partners communicate. Or they could teach you ways to relax or manage sexual dysfunction in the bedroom. For example, a man with premature ejaculation can learn techniques for delaying orgasm.
Today, many therapists are investigating attention with their patients. Attention allows you to focus on the present time and leave any thoughts. You may be asked to try attention techniques during sex, keeping your attention to pleasure and intimacy and not on the issues you are struggling with.
Sensate Focus is another common sexual treatment technique. This approach, practiced at home, moves from non -sexual to sexual intercourse with the aim of promoting trust and intimacy among partners. Other “home” assignments may read or monitor educational materials on the physical, emotional and psychological aspects of sexuality.
The results
When will you start to see results? The answer varies for everyone. Your therapist will suggest how often you need to meet and for how long. However, sexual treatment is more beneficial when you put the effort. Keep an open mind and follow suggestions, exercises and work. It may take time, but changes in your sexual health, relationship and general well -being could make the journey worth taking.
Resources
American Psychological Association
Weir, Kirsten
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(February 2019)
