Part of healing your relationship with food is healing your relationship with your body. However, as anyone who has done this work can tell you, improving body image is hard work. Because bodies change with life, both in appearance and function, body image therapy is a lifelong journey.
Unfortunately, many of the mainstream messages about body positivity can make it seem like improving body image is all about waking up one day and just deciding you like the way you look. I wish it was that simple! For starters, body image is very more complex than liking the way you look – your personal relationship with your body includes your thoughts, feelings, physical abilities, and the sensory/physical sensation of being inside your body. It is also affected by how others treat or view your body based on its appearance. You could be 1000% safe with how your body looks if it existed in a vacuum, but we live in a society full of lipophobia, ableism, racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, classism, and so on, and that will have an impact.
When body image is treated as something that can be fixed with a 10-step list, it can exacerbate the shame that many people experience for struggling, especially when those stories are done recognizing that body image is more than what one sees in the mirror.
That said, while improving body image may not come from finding the perfect body positivity mantra to repeat in the mirror every day, many people find it helpful to have real activities they can work on to support healing. . While body image therapy is complicated, one thing I’ve learned is that some people are “homework people” and like to have tangible activities or skills to work on.
In this blog post, I share five of my favorite body image activities to work with clients. Instead of treating them like a magic wand that will “fix” body image, I’d encourage you to think of these activities as things you can do to help you feel more comfortable in your body (or feel a little less uncomfortable , if that connects you more). Think of improving body image as finding lots of little things that make a 1-5% improvement in how you feel in your skin! While none of these activities are a magic solution, they can be a tool to help you feel a little more comfortable every day.
Five activities to improve body image
Express gratitude in your body
In the book More than one body, body image researchers Lindsay and Lexie Kite, PhD, remind us to see our bodies as instruments, not ornaments. One way to do this is to express gratitude to your body for everything it does for you. While big accomplishments can be powerful, like thanking your legs for taking you on a hike with the most incredible view, I think it’s even more important to thank your body for the everyday things. No matter how you feel about your body, you really can’t do anything without it. Like it or not, it’s your partner in a lifelong team project! You are stuck together and things will be easier for you if you show him some appreciation every once in a while, even if there are things you don’t really like. Consider thanking it for the little things, like allowing you to experience the joy of wrapping your arms around your partner (or dog! or both!), pushing you through a physical task at work, or to help you quickly deal with a cold that knocked out the rest of the household.
I should note that gratitude of the body can be capable – what if you are dealing with a chronic illness or disability? It’s really hard to express gratitude to your body when it feels like it’s letting you down. While this may not be an activity that you relate to, I have found that it can be helpful, even if you are dealing with a significant chronic illness or disability. If you are alive, your body does powerful and important work, even if it does some tasks more efficiently than others. Try to think small! One of my clients with multiple chronic conditions, including one that affects her mobility, pulled out her son’s old college anatomy book at my suggestion for inspiration. I will never forget her coming to the session excitedly yelling “RACHAEL!! Do you know your intestines have FINGERS to absorb nutrients??? (Lol yes I knew that too yes that is pretty much true!). For her, understanding the magic of our body and how it works helped her feel and express gratitude to it. She left the session saying her body is a miracle. So go ahead, thank your kidney particles and alveoli for improving your body image!
Ditch the scale
One way to move beyond valuing your body based on a number is to get rid of the organ that tells you that number. Even if you don’t weigh yourself regularly, having a scale at home reinforces the message that your weight is something to monitor or manage. Throwing away the scale (or breaking it!) can be cathartic!
Not ready to go that far? It is OK! For some people, losing weight is a slow process. Here’s a blog post I wrote with some strategies to help you stop obsessively weighing yourself.
With joy move your body
Give yourself the gift of happy movement by doing something for fun in your body without the goal of burning calories. Depending on your current exercise routines and fitness, it may be appropriate to do something bigger or more intense. However, when working on this activity to improve body image, I have clients focus on incorporating joyful movement into less than 10 minute bursts. By holding it for a long period of time that most people don’t think “counts,” it helps ensure that the movement is used for fun, not weight control. Some of my favorites are dancing to a favorite song, taking a quick break for recess, walking around the block to get some sunshine, playing a nostalgic movement-based game (think hula hoop or skip the) or playing an active game with children .
Want to learn more about the happy move? Here is a blog post I wrote on the subject.
Create art
Art can be a powerful tool for healing. For my clients who like to express themselves through art, one of my favorite activities to improve body image is the “self-esteem petals,” which I learned during my one-on-one supervision with Evelyn Trimbol (one of the founders of intuitive eating). The goal of this exercise is to help you expand your self-worth beyond the size of your body and begin to see yourself as a nuanced, complex human being who brings more to the table than just a body.
To do this activity, first draw, draw or color a picture of a flower. If you’re not an artist, just print one off the web! Then, for each petal of the flower, write one quality about yourself that you value that has nothing to do with your appearance. For some people, this can be very difficult! Ask the people you love what they appreciate about you, or come back to your flower every day for a few weeks and slowly work on it. Keep your art somewhere you can see it often as a reminder of your worth.
I get angry
Triggered by yet another headline about a supposed miracle weight loss drug or a spam comment about your body? Instead of internalizing body shame, allow yourself to get angry. It’s really crazy that we have to navigate a world that places so much importance on weight and appearance. It’s infuriating that there are so many people who take advantage of other people’s insecurities. It infuriates me to see how mainstream medicine treats weight when we have overwhelming amounts of research showing how little it means to overall health.
These things must make you angry By giving yourself permission to feel and express anger, you redirect those feelings towards the people who truly deserve your anger, rather than internalizing your feelings and seeing yourself as the problem, which leads to shame. For many of us (especially us women), we have learned to fear or avoid anger, but anger has its place and can be healing when channeled in the right way. If you find it difficult to express or let yourself feel anger, talking about it in therapy can be helpful.
The bottom line for improving body image
Remember, improving body image is a long and individual journey, so some of these activities may relate to you while others may not, and that’s okay! You are allowed to take what you need and leave the rest.
I strongly believe that if accessible to you, one-on-one support from a trusted clinician, such as a weight-inclusive therapist or dietitian, can be one of the best gifts you can give yourself. There are also some books and workbooks that may be useful. Here are some of my favorites:
