Heated arguments about sexuality and gender are everywhere these days. As an evolutionarily trained clinician specializing in gender medicine and men’s health, I have been helping individuals and couples improve their love lives for over fifty years. Me recently interviewed by Dr. Nathan L. Lents for his latest book, Sexual Evolution: How 500 Million Years of Sex, Gender, and Mating Shape Modern Relationships. I found the book enlightening, fascinating, and completely entertaining to read.
I have often encountered resistance in certain circles when I talk about the biological and evolutionary roots of who we are as men and women. Some people fear that differences will be used, as they have in the past, to limit people’s freedom and keep some locked in boxes that are rigid and unchanging. This need not be the case as Dr. so effectively points out. Lenz.
Joan Roughgarden, professor emeritus of biology at Stanford University and author of The rainbow of evolution he had this to say Sexual development:
“Many people seem to think they know what science says when it comes to sex. Well, Nathan Lents has news for them. Read this book — it’s fascinating, charming and eye-opening, with gorgeous ink drawings that bring the animals to life on its pages. It dispels misconceptions about life in the animal kingdom and that our sex position clearly points to it. All living things – especially humans.”
“Within just two generations, the sexual landscape has changed completely in most of the developed world, and so it’s no surprise that many people find all this terribly disturbing,” says Dr. Lenz. “What surprises me, however, is how little the biology and natural history of sex has entered the public debate. I argue that this moment of sexual upheaval is actually a rediscovery of the much more extensive relationship with sex that our ancestors once had and that other animals enjoy today.”
I grew up in southern California and spent endless hours wandering nature. I was a biology major in college and found the world of plants and animals fascinating. As a marriage and family counselor, I have found that my understanding of biology and evolution is invaluable in helping me support my client’s desire to have wonderfully passionate sex and love.
In a recent article, “This Truth About Men and Women Will Change Your View of Sex, Love, and Life Forever,” I described the work of my colleague, Michael Gurian, who has been reporting on male/female differences in brain function for decades. In one video blogshared research that has been ongoing for more than 40 years and evidence from a new study that shows differences in the brain, in utero, long before the effects of gender socialization.
If there was one thing Dr. Lentz wanted people to take away from reading his book, it was the value of diversity in the lives of all living things.
He said that in the modern world, much of how we express our sexuality and shape our sexual relationships stems from cultural constructs rather than innate biological wiring. Even a cursory glance at the sex lives of other animals dispels any notion that sexual activity is narrowly aimed at procreation. Biologists have discovered an ever-expanding list of reasons why animals have sex with each other. Animals use sex for bonding, social cohesion and alliance building. They use sex deceptively, competitively, and economically. They even have sex for the same reason we most of the time you do: just for fun.
Furthermore, in no species other than humans is sex as tightly constrained by broad structures as heterosexuality and sexual monogamy, nor has it been so constrained for most of our own species’ history. As humans explore this putatively new sexual territory, we can look to our animal cousins for guidance on how to navigate this minefield of social upheaval.
Not only will understanding our evolutionary diversity help improve our love lives, it may well be the key to our survival. You don’t need to be a trained scientist to recognize that our human species is out of touch with the laws of nature. The scorching temperatures we are experiencing around the world are a reminder of the danger we face as humans continue to undermine our connections to Gaia and all her diverse life forms.
As Thomas Berry warned us:
“We never knew enough. Nor were we intimate enough with all our cousins in the great earth family. Nor could we hear the various creatures of the earth each telling its own story. The time has come, however, for us to listen or die.”
There is still time to listen and learn. If you would like to get more information about Nathan H. Lents, you can do so here: https://thehumanevolutionblog.com/. He told me he is interested in hearing from people and reads all the emails people send.
If you are interested in my own work, please visit me at
