New terms to describe human behaviors seem to pop up online every day.
While most of these terms describe largely benign behaviors, such as “ghosting” and “snowman,” some describe behaviors that are, in fact, disturbing and dangerous.
“Stealthing” is a term that often comes up when talking about new sexual encounters. Is this something you should be concerned about?
Let’s learn together.
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What is stealthing?
“Stealthing” describes when two people consent to have protected sex, but then one party doesn’t put on a condom, takes it off during sex, or intentionally breaks the condom. it is likely to fail.
Many people who remove or damage a condom during sex may not think they are breaking the law, but they are. The act of stealthing violates consent and can therefore be considered rape in the UK. This means that anyone who does can be prosecuted. Rape can carry the same penalty as murder: life imprisonment.
People may engage in theft for a variety of reasons, such as prioritizing their own personal pleasure over their partner’s well-being, or wanting themselves or the other person to become pregnant without their partner’s knowledge or consent.
Regardless of why people do it, stealing is a crime and just plain wrong. If you want to have unprotected sex with someone, it is vital that you have this discussion beforehand so that both parties agree on what will happen.
“Stealthing” can also be a problematic term to use. It is a slang term that can minimize the harm and damage caused, making it seem less serious than other forms of sexual assault and rape. The use of the term may cause some people to dismiss this act as less serious than it is. But the truth is that theft is rape, and rape, no matter how it is described, is illegal and unacceptable.
In addition to the legal, ethical and emotional consequences of stealthing, there can also be health implications.
What are STDs?
STDs are infections that most people get from sex. The vast majority of STIs are transmitted between people through unprotected sexual activity – specifically, unprotected vaginal sex, anal sexand oral sexas well as sharing sex toys.
STDs are spread when contaminated bodily fluids come into contact with the mucous membranes in the genitals, rectum, mouth, and eyes of someone who is not infected.
How are STDs related to stealthing?
If someone removes a condom or destroys it during sex, contaminated bodily fluids such as vaginal discharge and semen are more likely to infect another person. This is because the barrier that separates direct contact between the genitals and mucous membranes is compromised, making infectious contact much more likely.
Stealthing can expose an uninfected person to all kinds of STDs, including:
While condoms do not provide guaranteed protection against the transmission of STDs, removing or destroying them during intercourse makes transmission of such infections much more likely.
What are the other risks of theft?
Along with the risks of STD exposure, stealthing can also lead to unwanted pregnancies.
Final thoughts
Theft is a serious crime. If you suspect you have been a victim of theft, you may want to report this crime to the police and contact sexual violence services such as:
You may also want to seek support from friends and family during this time.
If you think you may have been exposed to an STD through stealthing, it’s important to get tested.
Better2Know provides a wide variety of sexual health screens that provide fast, confidential test results, giving you a complete picture of your sexual health and clarity about your next steps.
Call the number at the top of this page to speak to one of our trained and compassionate Sexual Health Counselors. They can talk to you about your situation and help you come up with a clear plan of action to protect your sexual health.
You can also click the button below to secure an appointment at a sexual health clinic near you. All our appointments are handled by trained clinic staff who will respect your privacy. You can also schedule your appointment anonymously with a different name if needed.
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