By Evan Scarpulla (he/she), 16, Staff Writer
October 19, 2023
Some children have their first sex education lesson at school. mine was at home. Growing up with a mom who is a sex educator, I was always provided with comprehensive, age-appropriate information when it came to sex. This helped me to know how to handle certain situations better and also to understand myself.
Even if young people have sex at school, it is important for parents and carers to talk to their children about sex and sexual health. Opening this dialogue can allow families to connect, clarify questions children or teens may have, and provide information not given in school.
October is Let’s Talk month, held each year to encourage families to talk about sex and sexuality. In honor of that, I spoke to my mom, Michelle Scarpulla, MPH, MCHES®, who is currently on the faculty in the College of Public Health at Temple University, about why this month is so important.
Asking questions and clearing up misinformation
“Will I get sick if I have sex?” I was asked in high school by a friend who was worried about contracting a sexually transmitted infection (STD) if they had sex in the future. Too often we talk about sex in a fear-based way, as opposed to how to make it safe and enjoyable when someone is ready for it.
Questions like these are part of the reason I think it’s important for parents and caregivers to talk to their kids about sex, not just during Let’s Talk Month, but anytime. My mom says that having a month to emphasize open talk “brings attention to the importance of parents talking to their kids about sexuality.”
Asking questions and clearing up misinformation are vital elements this month.
The Courage to Communicate
A big part of Let’s Talk Month is having the courage to start a conversation. It’s not always easy. “I think some parents are uncomfortable with the subject and don’t know how to talk about it,” says my mom. “Some parents may be afraid to give information too early and some just don’t have the knowledge to share with their children.”
Starting a conversation about sex can be awkward, whether it’s the child or the parent who initiates it. Discovering how to create open communication can make future conversations feel less awkward.
If you’re having a hard time starting the conversation, my mom has some recommendations for you or your parent: “Use a news story, social media post, or TV show that discusses some aspect of sexuality as a conversation starter.” Or, you can share resources, like these from US Department of Health and Human Services and American Association for Sexual Health (ASHA), with a parent or caregiver, offering additional advice.
Speaking Often and Regularly
“Young people who talk to their parents about sex are more likely to put off sex until they’re older,” according to the US Department of Health and Human Services. They are also more likely to make healthy choices like using condoms to prevent pregnancy and STDs when and if they choose to have sex.
The school sometimes focuses on STDs or pregnancy prevention, which are important topics. But there are other aspects of sex and sexuality that need to be included, such as healthy relationships, consent, LGBTQ+ issues, intimacy—both physical and emotional—and more.
Participating in Let’s Talk Month is more important than ever because school sex isn’t automatic. Even when offered, it is not always thorough or even medically accurate. Open communication at home ensures that children can ask questions to help them make educated decisions about sex and relationships.
“It’s worth noting that ‘The Talk’ shouldn’t be a one-time event,” says my mom. “It should be an open-ended series of age-appropriate conversations during childhood and adolescence.”
While Let’s Talk Month is a great time to start these conversations, the discussion and answering of your questions about sex is ideally ongoing. I can say from experience that it was extremely helpful to have this open communication.
