By Miranda Dunnam, CCLS – March of Dimes NICU Family Support Program Coordinator
Whether for a few hours or a few months, having a baby in the NICU is incredibly stressful for parents. It can be hard to think about taking care of yourself during this time because you’re so focused on your baby’s needs. However, taking care of yourself physically and emotionally helps ensure that you stay well and have the energy to spend with your new baby. Below are some tips to help you get through your time with a baby in the NICU.
Physical Health Tips:
- Listen to your providers. Mothers, make sure you follow all of your medical team’s instructions about yours postpartum care. While your baby needs extra care, you’re still recovering from childbirth. Take all medications and keep all follow-up appointments.
- Stick to a daily routine. All ICU caregivers should do this eat healthy foods and meals and drink water regularly. It helps to set alarms because caregivers often lose track of time while recovering and in the ICU. A very helpful idea is to ask family and friends to send individually packaged snacks and bottled water for quick nutrition while you are in the ICU and while you are recovering at home.
- Some ideas include apple slices with peanut butter, juices, granola bars, sandwiches, popcorn, and pre-cut fruits and vegetables.
- Sleep well. It is very difficult to sleep when your baby is in the NICU, but sleep is essential for good health. We recommend that NICU parents talk to the NICU social worker and/or your own doctor if you are unable to sleep during your baby’s NICU stay. You won’t sleep through the night, but a good four-hour stretch every night is helpful.
Mental health tips:
- Come to the ICU as soon as you can. Get to know your baby. Help us learn about their patterns, likes, dislikes and communication. Let your baby hear your voice and feel your touch – they are comforting and familiar to your baby.
- Hold your baby. Holding your baby is one of the best medicines for babies and parents. Sometimes babies are too sick to be held, so ask the NICU staff how to provide a therapeutic touch (arm hug or holding). Holding a baby relieves stress for baby and parents, so skin-to-skin holding is always our goal when baby is ready.
- Ask for support. Woman’s is proud to partner with the March of Dimes to offer the NICU Family Support Program, including a NICU Family Support Program Coordinator on staff. This top program offers family education, staff training for family-centered care and improved patient experience with help from March of Dimes experts. We encourage you to participate in the activities provided and ask the NICU staff if you need more information.
- Understand your feelings. Remember that any emotion you feel is a normal reaction to an abnormal situation. Having a baby in the NICU is very stressful for parents. Most parents of babies in the NICU feel many positive and negative emotions at the same time. This is because your intimate relationship with your baby includes both joy and pain.
- There is no “normal” way to feel. You and your partner or support person may react or feel differently. Share your experiences and listen with empathy so that everyone feels supported and heard.
- Take breaks from the ICU. Allow yourself to leave your baby’s side when you can. While your baby needs you, it’s also important to make time for yourself, your partner and your other children. Take time to do things you enjoy like reading a book, listening to music or exercising. These restful breaks will help you find the strength to continue.
- Keep a journal. Expressing your feelings on paper can help you cope with your emotional changes. A journal also boosts your hope and patience by reminding you how far you and your baby have come.
- Banish your frustrations. If your baby has a setback, you may be plunged back into fear and anxiety. Raise your concerns and concerns with the ICU team. We are here for you.
- Celebrate when you can. It’s okay to feel happy when your baby is making progress. We love celebrating baby’s developmental milestones and have lots of printable milestone cards to show off the progress!
- Explore your spiritual side. It can be helpful to reflect and lean on your spiritual beliefs. You may find comfort in talking to a pastor, priest, rabbi, minister, or imam. It is normal for a NICU experience to challenge your religious and spiritual beliefs. However, prayer, meditation, or quiet reflection can help you find emotional strength and hope during this difficult time. Woman’s has a chapel on the first floor near the cafeteria and we have chaplains who visit the ICU regularly.
- Accept the support of others. It may seem difficult, but it’s okay to ask for and accept help. Let people know how they can best help and support you. This could include asking for a meal or snack for you and your family at home or in the hospital, help with older children, or transportation to and from the hospital. You want to share the baby’s progress on social media and they can help you with that.
While these tips are a good place to start, many NICU parents need more. NICU parents often need to meet with their own physician for postpartum depression and/or postpartum anxiety. Any significant changes in your feelings or in your daily life are worth exploring with your doctor or other healthcare professionals. If you think you need extra support, ask your child’s NICU social worker for help to find the right option.
*Information provided by March of Dimes and Women’s Hospital.
