In my life as a mental health advocate, I have seen people blame everything on bipolar disorder. This includes everything from thoughts like obsession and anger to actions like infidelity and yelling. And in my hundreds of posts here Bipolar Burble, you will see that many, many things are associated with bipolar disorder. That said, blaming everything on bipolar disorder is wrong.
Blaming Emotions on Bipolar Disorder
Of course, bipolar disorder brings with it many emotions. It is a mood disorder and your mood and emotions are connected. If you are depressed, your emotions will be drastically affected by it. Bipolar disorder is likely to affect your emotions unless you are in a good mood (a “normal” mood). Many people don’t do euphoria often, which means that bipolar disorder accounts for some emotions almost all the time.
That said, some feelings have nothing to do with bipolar disorder. For example, when someone you love dies, the grief and emotions it brings are normal and should not be blamed on bipolar. Unfortunately, bipolar can make these negative feelings worse or last longer. Figuring out which feelings are caused by bipolar disorder and which are not is complicated.
Blaming Thoughts for Bipolar Disorder
Just as feelings are intertwined with a mood disorder, so are thoughts. Your thoughts are often driven by your mood, after all. If you’re dealing with depression, mania, etc., you’ll have thoughts that accompany those feelings. Thoughts around self-blame and suicide are common in bipolar depression, for example. Thoughts surrounding superiority and creativity are common for example in hypomania or mania.
It’s also important to remember that thoughts come from your brain and that bipolar is a brain disorder. So, of course, your thoughts are affected. While the above thoughts surround mood, in my experience, other kinds of thoughts can also be blamed for bipolar disorder. There’s so much in common in the way we think, and I think that’s because our brains are all equally sick. For example, obsessions are common for those with bipolar disorder.
Blaming Actions on Bipolar Disorder
This is where things get sticky for me. While all of the above is true and much can be blamed on bipolar disorder, we are still sentient, independent beings who are responsible for our actions. There are exceptions to this, namely, in the form of psychosis. In the case of psychosis, yes, your actions can be blamed for bipolar disorder in many cases. People who have lost touch with reality may not appreciate their actions or their implications.
However, this is not most people most of the time. Most of the time, you can’t blame your actions on bipolar disorder. I know some people want to. I know some people treat bipolar disorder like a get out of jail free card, but it’s not. Strong desire to commit an act can be blamed for bipolar disorder. Actually committing this act I can not be blamed for bipolar disorder. Actions are a choice.
Don’t blame everything on bipolar disorder
People will argue that things like anger are very hard to deny and the actions they commit in anger, for example, are not their fault. Disagree. No one is making you scream at someone. No one is making you hit someone. It’s your voice and your body, and it’s up to you to use it responsibly, kindly, and mindfully. Bipolar disorder cravings are not the same thing as having a gun to your head. I know they can be extremely powerful and impactful, but it’s not undeniable. People like us are denied them every day.
And the thing is, by blaming everything on bipolar disorder, you’re not only “getting out of jail free,” you’re setting yourself up for never changing or getting better. The mistake you made “due to bipolar disorder” you will always make because “it’s not your fault”. The actions, however, are undeniably your fault. But we can all improve. Improvement is a lifelong process. The mistakes we make today don’t have to be the mistakes we make tomorrow. We are not on a merry-go-round. We are on a road that we chart.
Don’t get me wrong, none of us are perfect and we all act in things we shouldn’t do all the time. Everyone does this. We are humans. But that doesn’t mean we can blame bipolar for it, and it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t take responsibility for it.
How not to blame bipolar disorder for everything
We all need to learn to take responsibility for the things we do. When we’re hurting someone, it’s important to stand up and say so we he made a mistake. An invisible hand did not. We he did it. This is powerful. This means we don’t have to do it again. This helps both us and the people we hurt. It helps us try to improve and it helps us validate when the other person is feeling hurt. Because it makes sense for a person to feel hurt from you and yours Actions. They don’t have to justify your actions because of bipolar disorder. It doesn’t even make sense to ask them.
Learn to separate your actions from your thoughts and feelings. Your thoughts and feelings can be overwhelming, but they don’t have to make you take it out on other people. Learn to separate your brain from your mind and use your mind to dictate your actions I want to take and not what you feel is driven to take. This is possible. Invest in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). that can help you. Invest in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). that can help you. Separating your brain from your mind, your actions from your thoughts and feelings, takes time, but you can do it. Remember, you override how you think and feel all the time. You just have to learn to do it when you want to.
