Kirsty Bennett is a maternity nurse and night nanny after childbirth with a deep passion for supporting families in the early days of parental care. It is committed to providing evidence based on evidence, soft and responsive care. Combining the years of practical experience and desire to reduce the outdated tips and unrealistic expectations of motherhood, she wrote her book, The case for hugsTo strengthen parents to trust their instincts, to use their intuition, to embrace the connection and to navigate the post -childbirth period with confidence and compassion. Here she talks to Natural Parent magazine about the inspiration behind her book, the challenges she has overcome and her hopes and dreams for the future.
Passion: What inspired you to write this book?
In 2020, a very dear friend of mine had questions about breastfeeding. She was pregnant with her first baby and wanted to learn as much as she could before her birth. As a maternity nurse, it is my passion to support families to achieve their nutrition goals. I decided to write a list of my top tips to get breastfeeding at a good start. This list eventually fell into 117 pages, which is when I realized that this would be a book!
Later that year, I had another very dear person to ask me for safe sleep. Her family had experienced a Sids tragedy and were pregnant. I wanted to pull out what I know about the infant’s sleep in a resource for her so she could be as up -to -date as possible. This mom was sincerely anesthetized when I was co-existence, but co-existence is the biological rule-it is the way families have fallen asleep around the world for millennia.
There are aspects of modern life which means it is really unsafe for a percentage of families. However, adhering to today’s guidelines, known as Sleep Seven, means that co-existence with your baby is no more dangerous than just sleeping your baby. These are great news for tired parents who are deprived of sleep and want to evaluate their choices.
Around this time, I read why postnatal depression is important by Mia Scotland and I was terrified to know that “women are more likely to die of suicide than any other birth -related complication”. How could this be? Unfortunately, there are many reasons for this. The new parents navigate in the post -childbirth period without the support of the communities we have evolved to participate. They are expected to maintain multiple areas of their lives while learning to take care of a newborn 24/7.
The new parents are bombarded with unrealistic beautiful images and cylinders in the social media, while warning not to make a rod for their own back holding their babies too much. They are given outdated books with rigid timetables and unrealistic promises. They must have the baby to sleep all night before maternity leave is up. And be thin.
I wrote The case for hugs Because I want to stop the noise and nonsense. I want to strengthen parents to trust their instincts and listen to their intuition. This is not a book that tells parents what to do or how to do it, because the truth is that there is no “right” way for the parent. With confidence in yourself and holding your baby close, you will find what is “right” for you.
The launch: How did you start at first?
While working with kids since I was a teenager (it was 14 it was all that was needed to be babysitting then!), It wasn’t until 2013 that I really discovered my passion for working with babies. I had worked with several families as a nanny for preschoolers and school children, but when I got a job I worked as mothers helping to take care of twins nine months, I was hooked!
I wanted to specialize in work with babies and started looking for an educational lesson. Then I discovered Babyem, a courser who trains maternity nurses. I found their approach to documented, soft and sensitive care so refreshing!
Babyem opened me in a completely new way of thinking. I realized that most of what I thought I knew about babies (who were given that they were not too much at this point) were based on outdated views and ideas that (unfortunately) perpetuate much of today’s tips for the baby. As soon as I finished the lesson and started working with new parents, I began to see in real time the huge impact of the soft care based on evidence of both babies and their parents. I also saw how detrimental outdated tips can be for families, from sabotaging nutritional experiences for the activation of postnatal depression.
Babyem was my springboard in this field and I never stopped studying since then. There are so many great minds that help improve maternity for new families worldwide. My plan was to create a resource for parents who are a collection of wisdom coming from excellent people with whom every family should have access to, with signs for their invaluable work. This includes certified dairy consultants, holistic sleep coaches, neuroscientists, doulas, clinical psychologists, pediatricians, medical historians, anthropologists and midwives.
It took me three years to write the case for hugs. I mainly work as a night nanny after childbirth, but writing when sleep is lacking can be a challenge! Every time I managed to spend time to write, I was completely absorbed. I went part-time and took breaks between jobs so I could focus, often writing between 15-20 hours a day. I am very lucky to have a partner who is a technician-understand: helped me design the cover and form the pages. I was absolutely pleased when Trudi Dawson, director of Doula UK, agreed to read the book and write the foreword. After all these projects, holding a natural copy for the first time, he felt quite amazing!
Innovation: What was the biggest discovery for you with your business?
Honestly, there is nothing like the feeling you get when you see a new parent managed to overcome obstacles and achieve his goals. Sometimes, is this to find solutions to make a sleeping state easier? Other times, it works through a diet problem. Being able to watch these moments and being part of the support network is a real privilege.
Before writing The case for hugsI was able to support some families at a time. Now that it is published outside the world, it can be a resource for any number of families. I absolutely like to hear comments from new parents. This ranges from the feeling of update against unwanted tips to let their babies cry, in messages about overcoming the nutrition challenges. Just last week, I received the most beautiful message from a new mom in Australia who found the information she needed in the Milks Methods & Hisconcepts chapter to breastfeed her newborn comfortably. These are the discoveries that I am really excited about!
