A large part of my ability to maintain good mental health is through my support system, which consists of my closest friends, and more specifically, my queer friendships. As an only child, friendship became a kind of substitute for not having siblings. It gave me a way to build a support system around me of people I care deeply about and people who care deeply about me. I am very lucky and grateful to have a supportive family, but being able to extend that to my chosen family in the form of my friendships is one of my favorite aspects of myself and my life.
I have always had such wonderful friends and people around me. I never felt without love or support as he was constantly there for me.
After I went through a big life change last year, my friends showed up for me in every way.
At that point in my life, in the absence of romantic love, my platonic relationships continued to strengthen me and help me maintain self-love. When I’m going through particularly rough patches in my life or when I’m feeling down, they keep showing up for me the same way they do when I’m at my happiest.
One of the first things my roommate said to me when I met her was, “you’d get along so well with my friends,” and I can’t put into words how affirming it was to hear her say that. More than two years later, I couldn’t imagine a life without these friends. These friendships put a lot into perspective as to the type of people I should surround myself with, they have shown me directly and indirectly what it should be like to be unquestionably supported and loved. This queer friendship group, like my other queer friendships, have shown me what it’s like to be understood in every aspect of my life.
Beyond our queer identities, my queer friendships have allowed me to feel more comfortable and empowered to express myself and my sexuality.
Queerness is not the defining factor in our friendships, but something that connects us more deeply.
Being queer goes far beyond describing my sexuality, queerness for me is the extended way I can love the people I connect with, both platonically and romantically. I feel like my queer friendships have allowed me to feel completely comfortable with myself and my ways in life.
These friendships help me maintain my mental health by fulfilling my state of mental well-being. Nothing makes me happier than reminding myself of the wonderful, loving, authentic relationships I have with the friends around me. These queer friendships affirm me in the knowledge that I am exactly where I need to be and can express myself in the most authentic way. It is through authentic living that I can maintain good mental well-being and overall mental health.
Within these friendships I can talk about sexual health mostly openly and honestly. everything from discussing STD testing, to dating, contraception and sexual safety. Having friendships around me where nothing is too revealing or taboo allows me to feel completely comfortable with myself and helps me relax. Having queer friendships has also helped me feel more comfortable in queer spaces and attending events that I would have otherwise been too nervous to attend. I attended Pride with my friends for the first time this year. Then we attended a local lesbian club night and I felt comfortable knowing I was supported and loved by the friends around me, going to an event I could only have dreamed of attending a few years ago.
I didn’t realize how much my queer friendships made me feel understood and supported.
These friendships take me to wonderful places, to the cinema, to concerts, to pubs, to dinners, to museums, to movie nights, to walks in the park, to house sittings, to festivals, to different countries, to charity shops and everywhere in between.
I love telling my friends how grateful I am for the memories we make together, the little gestures we make for each other, the nights out we go to and the people who have introduced me. But there are so many things that I have no words to describe.
To me, friendship isn’t always about buying material things or saying big affirmations to each other or doing big things for each other. Instead, they keep showing up for each other no matter what. I am so grateful to be able to love and appreciate them for all they do for me, helping me maintain my mental health and well-being in such a loving way.
