Asexuality is a term that has gained increasing prominence in recent years, yet remains widely misunderstood. This article aims to clarify what asexuality is, dispel common myths and provide a comprehensive understanding on this topic.
What is Asexuality?
Asexuality is a sexual orientation characterized by a lack of sexual attraction to others. In basic terms, asexual people do not experience sexual attraction and may have little or no interest in sexual activities. However, it is important to note that asexuality exists on a spectrum. Some asexual people may experience romantic attraction, while others may not. This distinction is critical to understanding the diverse experiences within the asexual community.
What Asexuality is not
- Asexuality is not the same as celibacy or abstinence: Celibacy and abstinence are choices to abstain from sexual activity, often for personal, religious, or cultural reasons. Instead, asexuality is an inherent part of who someone is, not a choice.
- Asexuality is not a medical condition or disorder: The World Health Organization (WHO) does not classify asexuality as a medical or psychological disorder. It is a valid sexual orientation, like heterosexuality, homosexuality and bisexuality.
- Asexuality does not mean the absence of relationships: Asexual people can and do have satisfying relationships. These relationships can be romantic, platonic, or a combination of both. The presence or absence of sexual activity does not diminish the depth and importance of their connections.
Common Myths About Asexuality
Myth 1: Asexual people haven’t found the right person yet.
This myth is based on the assumption that everyone should experience sexual attraction and that asexuality is just a phase. However, asexuality is a legitimate and enduring sexual orientation.
Myth 2: Asexuality is the result of trauma or a negative sexual experience.
While some individuals may develop a lack of interest in sex due to trauma, this is not representative of the asexual community as a whole. Asexuality is not intrinsically linked to negative experiences. it’s just a different way of experiencing or not experiencing sexual attraction.
Myth 3: Asexual people are just shy or socially awkward.
Asexuality has nothing to do with one’s social skills or personality traits. Asexual people can be just as outgoing, confident and socially competent as anyone else. This myth perpetuates harmful stereotypes and fails to recognize asexuality as a valid sexual orientation.
The asexual spectrum
Asexuality encompasses a wide range of experiences and identities. Some terms associated with the asexual spectrum include:
- Gray sex: People who experience sexual attraction rarely or under specific circumstances.
- Demisexual: People who experience sexual attraction only after forming a strong emotional bond with someone.
- Aromatic: People who do not experience romantic attraction, which may be independent of their sexual orientation.
Navigating Relationships and Communication
For asexual people, communication is key in relationships. Open and honest discussions about boundaries, needs and expectations help foster understanding and respect between partners. It is important for both asexual and heterosexual (non-asexual) people to recognize and validate each other’s experiences and desires.
Conclusion
Asexuality is a valid and diverse sexual orientation that is often misunderstood. By educating ourselves and challenging myths, we can create an inclusive society that respects and recognizes the full spectrum of human sexuality. Understanding asexuality involves recognizing that it is not a choice, a disorder, or an aversion to relationships, but rather a unique and legitimate way of experiencing the world.
For more information on this topic, read this post by The Journal of Sexual Medicine:
Asexuality: An extreme variant of sexual desire disorder?
References:
Bogaert, AF (2012). Understanding asexuality. Rowman & Littlefield Publishers.
Decker, J. (2015). The Invisible Orientation: An Introduction to Asexuality. Skyhorse Publishing.
Human Rights Campaign. (n). Understanding the asexual community. Retrieved from
World Health Organization. (2018). ICD-11: International Classification of Diseases (11th ed.). Retrieved from
