5 Characteristics of a successful coach

5 Characteristics of a “successful” coach

Some people will use adjectives like strong, looks the part, experienced, knowledgeable, professional, motivating or ‘ruining the back of my pants scary.”

Others will use less German markers like bald, has an epic beard, or sleeps with a copy of SuperTraining under his/her pillow at night.

All are important (some more than others) and all can be used to describe many strength coaches – or Any kind of coach for that matter.

It should go without saying, but this is not an exhaustive list.

Today, however, I’d like to cover some less obvious traits that I believe make a great strength coach and/or personal trainer. Some are based on my own personal experiences, while others fall into the “it’s true because it’s my blog and I said so” camp.

1. Coaches Coach

Seems like an obvious place to start, right? But it amazes me how many “coaches” out there don’t train anyone.

Like, never.

This is the paradox of this technological age we live in. The internet has made everyone an expert or authority because 1) they say so and/or 2) because # of followers = the pantheon of expertise.

Listen, having thousands of followers on Twitter or Instagram is impressive. Whenever so many people are interested in what you have to say, you obviously do something correctly.

But don’t call yourself a coach or an “expert” if you don’t actually coach people.

And this is where things get a little murky and where the weeds get a little taller.

This is not meant to disrespect or belittle those who live on the Internet. I understand. We live in the 21st century and if nothing else, the pandemic has taught us that we must be ready, willing and able to go online when needed.

I have many friends and colleagues who are doing very well for themselves by coaching people in a distance-based way:

They can help more people this way.
They produce results in people.
I can’t mourn it.

I do too.

However, I still spend 15-20 hours a week in my studio coaching athletes and clients in person. This is still very important to me. It keeps me fresh and in touch with my coaching skills. And I can guarantee that many online coaches who are crushing it did it FIRST with in-person coaching. If you can’t train a deadlift in person, the likelihood of doing it over a Wi-Fi connection with someone hundreds of miles away is slim to none.

Plus, if I’m going to sit here and write blog posts and articles about how to educate people, I better practice what I preach.

But that’s just me, I can’t speak for everyone.

That’s a degree of integrity I’m not willing to give up.

2. Embrace your training style

I always get a sense of entertainment when other coaches come to watch me train. I think many people are surprised to recognize that I am quite tame in my approach.

Sure, I’ll make animations, upload music, and cheer people on when it’s necessary and warranted. But for the most part I’m as laid back as can be. What can I say…

…it’s mine internal-introvert living the best life.

To be clear: No one – trainers, pirates, plane pilots, Orcs – is 100% introvert or extrovert. We are all a mix-n-match of the two. What I find unfortunate is that it is the more introverted side of the spectrum that tends to surprise society.

via GIPHY

Introversion it is often seen as aloof or worse, a weakness. When all it really means is that some people are mentally drained in more social settings and need a little more ~~hugs kitties~~ “Me time” to recharge.

Therefore, those who are more introverted are often forced to be something they are not… at the expense of their comfort level, happiness and ability to not throw their face into a brick wall.

Extroversion – while having its own set of advantages and disadvantages – is seen as a strong and preferred feature in our society.

We introverts have a lot to offer as coaches – we tend to be better listeners and are more patient by example. I would encourage anyone who falls into this camp to embrace their introversion, understand that compromises will have to be made (read my article linked above), and that preferring to hang out with a book on a Friday night is totally boss mode .

3. Pull Coaching vs. Push Coaching

It has been pointed out on several occasions in recent years – especially by people like Nick Winkelman and Brett Bartholomew – the power of using EXTERNAL (as opposed to using INTERNAL) cues when training – especially when working with beginner or intermediate lifters.

To summarize:

Internal indications = Specific physical actions or what it does in space.

External indications = Intent, distance or action.

Excercise Internal Signal External Signal

1. Deadlift “Chest up.” “Show me the logo on your shirt.”

2. Squat “Knees Out”. “Spread the floor.”

3. Bench press “Arch your back.” “Meet the bar halfway.”

4. “Extend your hip” sprint. “Push the ground away.”

External conditioning tends to have more “sticky” power and resonates more with most lifters. Nick Tuminello has a nice way of putting it:

“Speak customer, not trainer”

Taking things a step further, I really like the idea of ”Pull” coaching vs. “Push” coaching – an idea I stole from my good friend and colleague Tony Bonvecchio.

Pull Coaching = Helping someone solve their problems…listening to understand, asking questions, paraphrasing, suggesting options.

Push Coaching = To solve someone’s problems on their behalf… to tell, to give instructions, to give advice.

Both scenarios are effective and have their time and place. However, I would argue that we need more of the former compared to the latter. As a coach I want to EDUCATE my athletes and clients to be their best asset. to understand if I’m not there. I don’t want them to rely on me everything.

Like:

When to add weight to any exercise.
When to moderate their training and when to push themselves harder.
How to make simple exercise substitutions if equipment availability is a problem.
To understand why burpees (and pull-ups) are stupid.
And, I really need to remind you to g0 Watch Beef on Netflix? FOR GOD’S SAKE!!!!

You know, the important stuff.

I think too many coaches and personal trainers push at the expense of pulling. Try to empower your customers by making them more capable and encouraging more autonomy (making their own choices).

4. Insatiable desire to become better

Dan John sits in the front row every time he attends a workshop or seminar. Mike Boyle still attends several events each year and is never afraid to back down or admit when he’s wrong. Ali Gilbert it’s the same. Eric Cressey just bragged the other day that he listened to 25 books on Audible this year.

At 2x speed (the psychopath).

All of them have decades of coaching experience and all of them are yet he’s trying to get better.

Who the f**k are you?

You got it all right? You don’t need to keep learning from others, right? Is it YOUR way or the highway? Is everyone else stupid? I got it.

A hole.

5. Let’s Stop Grinding and Hustling

Although it’s a little more toned down now, I’m sick of seeing stuff like this.

We see them all the time on social media.

The “Mills”.

The ones who are so busy and so bogged down and have so much more work ethic than everyone else.

Look, I can appreciate people with a work ethic. And I will be the first to support hard work and the idea that nothing happens without some degree of sacrifice, discomfort and suffering. And yes, long hours.

But please spare us the inspirational quotes and the grandeur because you happened to get up before 5am two days in a row or, I don’t know, you haven’t eaten carbs since March.

Grinding is four tours in Iraq and Afghanistan. Grinding is raising a child as a single parent. Grinding goes through intensive chemotherapy and yet putting a smile on your face. Grinding is listening to your co-worker brag about his CrossFit workouts and trying to keep your eyes from bulging every time he waxes poetic about how you’re going to die tomorrow drinking a Diet Coke.

He’s got nothing to do with how superior you are because you avoid seed oils or because you train eight clients a day, six days a week.

Speaking of which:

For the “up and comers”… I love the work ethic, but there are only a finite # of hours per week to be an emotional coach.

You are not the same coach at the end of the day as you were at the beginning. You are not the same coach at the beginning of a week as you are at the end. Touting your early waking hours and hustle mentality isn’t the long-term flexibility you think it is.

It is no coincidence that most coaches/coaches leave after two years. They inevitably hate life.

I understand that bills have to be paid and I want to reiterate that I also understand that there will be a period of time where long hours will occur. But be aware that there are only a finite number of hours where you are an emotional coach and where you will inevitably burn out.

There is a healthy balance and I hope you find it.

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