Let’s talk about sexual goals, vulva owners. There are three skills I hear over and over that you are dying to achieve with your body:
- Internal orgasms
- Squirting
- Multiple orgasms
And here’s a secret: all of these goals depend on the health of your pelvic floor. How strong and toned it is, how responsive it is to stimulation, and how aroused you are when you have sex and/or masturbate.
So let’s take your goals one by one and break down the steps to get there.
Internal orgasms
While the clitoris is key to helping owners vulvar orgasm, it is it is possible to have a G-spot orgasm, an A-spot orgasm, and even a cervical orgasm. So many internal pleasure points, so little time.
The trick here is to have a clitoral orgasm first during solo sex, which is easier since the nerve endings are more exposed. Then, with your genitals soaked, you can carefully insert an internal toy, such as a bunny vibe, a double stimulator, or a G-spot stimulator. Take deep breaths and do a pressure or Kegel exercise at the end of the breath before exhaling. You are awakening the nerve endings inside your vagina, which takes time – so be patient. The more you try it over a period of weeks or even months, the more your brain will connect the dots between arousal and pleasure.
Now again, the key to internal O’s is a strong pelvic floor. Jarlap with AutoKegel® technology does Kegels you. Cool, right? As an FDA-cleared medical device, it’s a 20-minute workout from the inside. Enter The pelvic floor muscle stimulator in the vagina, choose an intensity level to contract the pelvic floor muscles and let it do its job! And bonus—no more peeing when you sneeze— because a strong pelvic floor fixes that and Jarlap does it in a few weeks!*
(A disclaimer here: if you have vaginitis, a condition that involves involuntary tightening of your vaginal muscles, pelvic floor training over and over is not the move. If this is you, see a pelvic floor physical therapist, who can adjust the treatment plan for your body.)
Squirting
Let’s go for the gold: launching.
More than anything, squirting requires dedication and patiencence. This is because you are stimulating a slightly different set of nerves than those that facilitate clitoral orgasm (the vagus nerve). When you try to suck, you stimulate the G-spot, which is connected the pelvic branch of the vagus nerve.
In short, it is very deep and internal and needs purposeful senses. So try this: the next time you masturbate, use a powerful sex toy over your clothes, to get your first clitoral orgasm without going completely numb. In my experience, the best game to achieve this is almighty Magic wand. It’s a power tool! Try to stimulate yourself over your pants or over your underwear. It is an external atmosphere, but it is so strong that you can feel the vibrations deep in your body without desensitizing your nerve endings. This is absolutely key to the next step.
As you progress to inner stimulation with an inner game, don’t be disappointed if you need to be there for a while. Here are 4 tips:
- Slow down. Are you Building they increase the intensity for an orgasmic release and it takes time to soak the erectile tissue of your G-spot.
- Feel the “I have to pee” feeling. Squirting is not peeing, but when you first try it, the intensity may feel similar.
- Let it flow. You’re rewiring your brain around what’s possible, and while this ejaculation is made up of other fluids, there may be some pee at first. Put down a towel and wrap with it.
- Take everything out. Often vulva owners cannot ejaculate with something in their vagina. So when you feel something coming on…get the toy out so your body can release the fluid properly.
Multiple O
Fun fact: vulva owners don’t have a cooling off period between orgasms. This means that after you experience one, you can try for seconds! (Or third, or fourth…)
But it’s harder to achieve during sex when you’re focused on pleasing more people than just your own. So try this: until your next solo sex, get right to doing some kegels, a compression/release of your pelvic floor. Ideally, you want to do them every day.
To perform a kegel, squeeze your muscles as if stopping the flow of urine. Hold for 3-5 seconds and then relax. Repeat 10 times, 3 times a day and if you want to create a fun phone reminder, be my guest. Now that it’s a welcome notice.
When masturbating, choose a bullet with some flexibility to see which sensations feel best. I’m a big fan of his Gold Vibes with woman**, which is not only cute and discreet, but also has a tapered tip for targeted stimulation and a rounded side for wider access. Plus: you can throw it in a vanity! Take it with you on this wagon.
And don’t forget your lube, people! It increases the change of orgasm and adds sensation. If you are dealing with dryness, I recommend it Coco Blissalso from Female, a delightful vaginal moisturizer that helps prepare you for intimacy. It has a natural coconut scent that I’m obsessed with and it’s super moisturizing so you can use it on dry skin, anywhere.
New levels of pleasure, unlocked. Enjoy the workout!
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*Start training your pelvic floor today with code “EMILY” for $35 off your order at Jarlap. Thanks later xx.
**Want to stock up on vibrators and lube? Be sure to use the code “EMILY” for 20% off your order at Female.
