Menopause is official when 12 months have passed since your last period. The average age is 52, but there is a range: 45 to 58 years. And contrary to popular belief, you don’t suddenly wake up one day with hot flashes – there’s a gradual build-up of symptoms in your late 40s, called perimenopause.
But because there hasn’t been a ton of serious discussion about menopause until recently, people don’t always know they have classic symptoms. Things like low libido, joint pain, and poor memory are written off as “aging” when in fact a specific process is occurring: your hormone levels are changing.
The key hormone that drops during this period is estrogen and is critically involved in sexual health, collagen production, sleep, bone density, brain function, moisture and elasticity of genital tissues, heart health and the protection of blood vessels. So when you go through perimenopause and menopause, you may have symptoms like:
- Lower sex drive
- Brain fog
- Night sweats and hot flashes
- Disturbed sleep and insomnia
- vulvovaginal dryness and itching
- Painful sex
- Gloom
- Anxiety or depression
- Bone fragility
- More frequent urinary tract infections
- Incontinence
However, women are often unsure if their symptoms are legitimate enough to warrant a discussion with their doctor. But look at this list: no one wants to grit their teeth through it. Thus, a new menopausal wellness industry has intervened.
Today’s menopause solutions address the issues in a targeted way, filling in the gaps that estrogen provided. Speaking of which, many women opt for hormone therapy during perimenopause and menopause. If this is you, know that the solutions I discuss here can be used independently or alongside HRT. Nothing is contraindicated, everything is tested and tested for safety.
Below, four of the most common problems I hear from women going through menopause and my top recommendations for solving them.
Problem: Painful sex
Solution: Sex pillow
Rec: The Prim by Tabu
Hormonal changes during menopause cause the vagina to become shorter, narrower and less elastic – making sex more painful. You can solve this pain in several ways, but one of the fastest is a high-quality sex wedge like The Prim.
The Prime it changes the angle of contact so that penetration becomes deeper and easier. It also relieves stress on the hip and knee joints: menopause increases joint inflammation, so your body will thank you for taking things easy. The inner core of the Prim is made of high-density foam (much firmer than a standard bed pillow), but the outside feels like a regular linen throw pillow. You can leave it out on your bed without it screaming “sex needed”.
*Get 10% off The Prim at heytabu.com
Problem: Hot flashes and night sweats
Solution: Supplement with black cohosh and saffron
Rec: Solaray’s Life Stages: Menopause
Because menopause is often reduced to a comedic trope, the stereotype we have in mind is a woman frantically getting high while waiting for it to pass. But it’s more than just sweating and hot flashes: hot flashes are actually linked to cardiovascular health and cognitive changes. It’s a serious symptom and deserves serious treatment, so I’m glad more research is coming out about the effectiveness of black cohosh and saffron on hot flashes. I am also glad that there is a supplement that contains both.
Solaray has one young doctor the complement line is called her life Stages which includes a Menopause formula with both ingredients (and no hormones or soy!). A recent meta-analysis of more than 20 studies found that black cohosh was associated with significant improvement for hot flashes. Meanwhile, saffron is emerging as a safe and effective treatment for hot flashes along with stress reduction and anxiety management.
*Use code “SEXWITHEMILY” for 15% off at Solaray
Problem: vulvovaginal dryness + itching
Solution: Growth factor serum
Rec: V-Health Serum for Vaginal Regeneration
Declining estrogen also leads to thinning of your vaginal walls, making your genitals dry, itchy and easily irritated. You lose your body’s growth factors that help regenerate the vaginal lining, but the good news is that you can replace them.
V-Health it’s a vaginal serum that you wear at night, like a facial gel. It contains growth factors that are absorbed into the skin, resulting in more vaginal hydration, elasticity and thickness. Over time, it has also been shown to reduce users’ risks of vaginal infections and significantly improve sexual pleasure and satisfaction. This is because the skin is thicker and more flexible after consistent, regular application.
*Use code ‘EMILY20’ for 20% off at getvhealth.com
Problem: Clear, itchy skin on face, neck and décolleté
Solution: Hyaluronic acid, niacinamide, vacuhiol
Rec: Women’s skin care products
Because estrogen is so closely involved with collagen production, our skin changes during menopause. Less collagen means less elastic skin, so fine lines and sagging can appear on your face, neck and the sensitive area above your breasts.
But these ⬆️ ingredients help skin maintain a thick moisture barrier, increase skin cell turnover, and add radiance. They are in many products from Femaleincluding my favorites –
Female makes skin products with long-term benefits, but just as important – instant gratification. All of these products have “firming” ingredients that instantly make skin look firmer, so you don’t have to wait weeks and weeks for improvement. (Although that will happen, too.)
Honorary Distinctions
The good patch
$12
Turn down the heat with a cute, wearable cannabis and black cohosh “cool patch.”
Hot Flash Tea by Tea Botanics
$30
Hot tea for hot flashes? Yes: drink it in the morning for a dose of ingredients (black cohosh, echinacea, wild yam) that banish hot flashes throughout the day. If you can’t stand the heat, pour ice over it.
Collagen Gummies
$30
Boost hair thickness and facial radiance by supercharging your body’s collagen production. As estrogen levels drop, so does collagen production—those gums to the rescue.
Embr Wave Cooling Bracelet
$299
Say goodbye to night sweats: wear this stylish bracelet on your wrist and press the button to activate cooling sensations that help regulate your body temperature, offering instant relief whenever you feel overheated.
Evercool Cooling pillowcases
$79
Stay cool all night: these pillowcases wick away heat and sweat, helping to regulate your temperature so you can finally stop turning your pillow to the cool side.
CBD Gummy Bundle – Focus, Sleep & Relief by VIIA
$105
Find your perfect balance with this THC-free CBD pack: boost focus with Flowstate, sleep soundly with Zen Sleep, and relax with Revive—each made with natural ingredients for non-psychoactive relief.
*Use code “EMILY” for 15% off your VIIA order
Refreshing underwear spray by The Honey Pot
$10
Throw it in your purse whenever you need a refresher: jasmine and aloe vera keep your bottoms looking great.
You don’t have to suffer through menopause. Just like you need certain products for other chapters of life that affect your hormones, chapters like menstruation and pregnancy, you need products for perimenopause and menopause. I hope this list is helpful!
What do you use during perimenopause and menopause? Have you found a miracle product? Come find me on Instagram and let’s talk: @sexwithemily.
