In my work as a dietitian supporting clients in treatment for disordered eating, I am often asked to define “normal” eating.
“How many slices of pizza is it normal to eat?”
“Is it normal to eat sweets every day?”
“Would a normal person finish their meal in ___ minutes?”
“Is it normal to feel so full?”
“Do normal people eat more than 1 snack between meals?”
This preoccupation with normal eating is understandable. Disordered eating is disconnected from the intuitive sense of how to eat. In addition, people who struggle with disordered eating tend to struggle with social comparisonsmeaning they are more likely to evaluate themselves based on other people. If you feel insecure about how to feed yourself and are very attuned to what others are doing, naturally would you like to know what a “normal diet” looks like?
What is a “normal diet?”
Years ago I wrote this blog post about normal eating and focused on the definition given by nutritionist Ellyn Satter:
“Normal nutrition is being able to eat when you’re hungry and keep eating until you’re full. It’s being able to choose food you like and eat it and actually feel full – not just stop eating because you think you have to. Normal eating is being able to use some moderate restriction in your food choices to get the right food, but not so restrictive that you miss out on enjoyable foods. Normal eating is giving yourself permission to eat sometimes because you’re happy, sad, or bored, or just because you feel good. The normal diet is three meals a day, most of the time, but you may also choose to eat together. You leave a few cookies on the plate because you know you can have them again tomorrow, or you eat more now because they taste great when they’re fresh. Normal eating is overeating at times: feeling full and uncomfortable. It’s also undernourished at times and I wish you had more. Normal eating is about trusting your body to correct your eating mistakes. Regular nutrition takes up some of your time and attention, but maintains its place as just one important area of your life.
In short, normal eating is flexible. It varies according to your emotions, your schedule, your hunger and your proximity to food.” ~ Elin Sutter
I still really love that description and it’s something I personally relate to when thinking about what kind of eater I want to be. I also believe it is a description that many, if not most, of the clients I work with relate to. Satter’s description of “normal eating” is flexible, balanced, and sustainable—a way of eating that honors both physical health and mental well-being.
That said, in the years since I wrote that original blog post, I have questioned the idea and pursuit of “normal eating” and it’s value in therapy. Being asked over and over again about what is “normal” by clients in various treatment situations has opened my eyes to some of the ways in which the definition of normal eating can actually cause harm.
Let’s discuss some of the problems I see with labeling the diet as normal…
Problems with the concept of “normal diet”
What is “normal” (ie common) may actually be disordered.
Because diet and wellness culture is so pervasive in our culture, what is considered normal is often distorted and limiting. The rates of eating disorders are shockingly highand the number of people engaging in disordered eating behaviors without a formal diagnosis is even higher, especially among higher-risk populations such as college athletes, transgender and non-binary people, and people with food-related medical conditions. Even outside of people who struggle with disordered eating, think about how many people in your life do frivolous things like restrict to compensate (or make room) for eating something “bad”, experiment with fad diets, or track food intake or their weight. These behaviors are quite common, and yet (I hope!) most people can at least reasonably recognize that they are not signs of a healthy relationship with food. Just because an eating behavior is common or seems “normal” doesn’t mean it’s a smart idea for you!
If there is “normal” diet, then there is “abnormal” diet.
By definition, if a way of eating is considered ‘normal’, then what exists outside of it must be ‘abnormal’. In fact, different eating patterns can work for different people. Labeling food as “normal” or “abnormal” based on how it looks from the outside misses what’s going on behind eating behaviors. It also feeds into a binary way of thinking about food and eating that fuels disordered eating.
For example, eating the same thing every day for lunch for sure could it is a symptom of disordered eating. At the same time, there are tons of children eating essentially the same lunch every day for school. I know I survived grade school on some combination of a peanut butter or turkey sandwich with chips, dip or dankrou and fruit. This had nothing to do with disordered eating and being a child of the early 90’s who wanted to fit in with what everyone else was eating and had a single, working mom! I also think of my grandfather, who ate a tomato sandwich on a bun almost every day for lunch. She did not suffer from disordered eating. He was just a 90-year-old Jew from New Jersey who liked what he liked.
Even if the intention behind an eating behavior is to limit or control weight, it still feels a little bad to label it as ‘abnormal’. For me, dieting and restriction aren’t “abnormal” so much as they are attempts to navigate a world that’s really messed with bodies.
Focusing on eating “normally” distracts from what works for you, right now, at this point in your healing process.
For me, the point of doing this job is not to become a certified “normal” eater, whatever that is. The point is to find a way to nourish yourself that works for you, physically and mentally. Yes, a big part of this is letting go of limiting behaviors, but when the focus is performing regularity, it can distract from what is working for you, right now, at this point in your treatment.
I decided to rewrite this blog post after a conversation with a client about having lunch with her coworkers and how she wanted to feel more comfortable eating hot food and sandwiches for lunch. Currently, it combines various snacks such as bars, yogurts, snack mixes, fruits, etc. It also helps her feed herself at a difficult time of day, reduces stress at lunch, and helps her navigate some of her ARFID-like symptoms. On the face of it, wanting to eat the “normal” lunches that her coworkers made might seem like a therapeutic move. But in conversation, we realized that this was actually something she was very good at, even if she felt like she wasn’t eating “normally” compared to her coworkers’ lunch of leftovers and sandwiches. The pressure to eat “normally” made her feel bad that she was eating in a way that worked for her. While expanding the lunch options is probably something we’ll eventually work on together, maybe not! Is labeling something helpful in helping her deal with her eating disorder as an abnormal eating behavior? I think not!
I believe that the pursuit of normal eating is a distraction from finding out what really works for us. As ideal as Ellyn Satter’s definition may seem, for some people, it is simply not accessible. Whether it’s someone with ADHD who needs to rely on a regular diet to feed themselves, someone with severe and persistent anorexia who needs to count calories but with more appropriate goals to maintain stability, or someone with a significant medical condition related to foods. must spend much more time and thought on nutrition to manage their symptoms, these “abnormal” eating behaviors may be necessary to nourish themselves and live a better quality of life. Even if “normal eating” isn’t within your reach, I believe you can find a way to feed yourself that feels good to you.
What kind of eater do you want to be?
What kind of eater do you want to be? What factors are most important to you in the way you eat? You can decide how you want to take care of yourself with food and only you can know what way of eating works for you. What may feel good to one person may feel restrictive to another, and vice versa. Instead of relying on outside opinions of what “normal” nutrition should look like, can you take a step back and think about what you need right now from your relationship with food?
At Rachael Hartley Nutrition, our aim is to help you find a way to eat yourself that makes you feel good – empowering you with skills and support to become the eater you want and develop a relationship that feels good peaceful. you. We pride ourselves on supporting our customers with personalized care rather than a one-size-fits-all manual process. If you’re interested in learning more about nutritional counseling, read our practice philosophy and nutrition services page and just get in touch if you’d like to see if you’re a good fit for nutritional counseling with us!
This article about normal nutrition was originally published in March 2015. The text and images have been updated to bring you the best possible content.
