What is an ‘identity tag’? It is a phrase that represents a part of ourselves and our shared experiences with others. Such phrases are critical parts of communication, but they are also limited. The phrase is not the experience itself but, rather, is shorthand for expressing that experience.
For my mental well-being, I have found it important to cultivate a sense of who I am by transcending the boundaries of language and, in terms of identity specifically, seeing myself as more complex than any word or phrase can capture. While it can be therapeutic to incorporate an identity label to feel that sense of belonging, it can also be limiting.
When I’m always presented with a list of terms related to gender, race, ability, etc., I start to feel pigeon-holed, like I’m not giving others a chance to see me as a person, but as a list of preconceived notions. . Letting go of identity labels, then, is a practice that helps me understand when it is important to state identity and when it is more beneficial for those aspects of who I am in society to remain unsaid. By seeing my attachment to my labels, I can deepen my relationship with them and the people who share them.
This practice also supports me in questioning tokenization, whether it is my own tokenization or my ability to tokenize others. Do I want every story about my identity to focus on being non-binary, biracial, or disabled in multiple ways? No, because that might diminish people’s understanding of who I am. It can also turn me into an example of how all bipolar people are, for example, when that’s not always best for me or other bipolar people. Knowing the problems with tokenization, I try to be careful in how I talk about my experiences of identity in case I act as a false expert, believing that my experience represents and captures the totality of everyone in this community’s experience.
It can be freeing to speak simply as me rather than as a member of one of my communities, and this practice of letting go of identity labels—temporarily and with clear intentions—gives me insight into when to embody my individuality and when to serve as a community representative.
Step 1: Recognize the limitations
Are there aspects of your lived experience that don’t quite fit the boundaries of what an identity label communicates? What other words, images, or sounds help you convey this experience? What have other people with this identity shared that you are not related to?
By noticing the limitations of identity as a phrase, you can begin to see your personal definition of it, compare it to the broader definition, and perhaps see how it works for you and your community—and how it doesn’t. This is what it looks like to me as a South Asian yoga teacher. It can be incredibly important to name my racial identity in a space that is cultural, but when I always put that identity first in my yoga practice, it limits my experience.
Step 2: Cultivate the sense that you are beyond labeling
My yoga practice is a great space to let go of messages—words, images, anything that demonstrates your sense of self to others—and learn to simply be.
You have cultural practices where you can see the difference between moving into it as a [insert identity label here] and leave this label? For example, when I do yoga, I don’t always have to think of myself primarily as South Asian. There are times when I can just move my body intuitively or meditate without having to define who I am in society.
This ability to be who I am beyond labeling also applies to diagnostic labels. When I clean, do I need to be designated as a person with OCD who cleans? Can I just put on some music and get work done without considering my stress level or noticing how many times I wash my hands and wondering if it’s considered clinically excessive? Yes, I’m happy to share what I can!
Step 3: Return to your relationship with an identity tag
Once you release the label or expand your perspective on it, you can come back with a renewed understanding of why it matters to you. Is there a sense of spaciousness, transience and wonder?
You may be able to uncover new levels of meaning that you weren’t aware of before challenging your attachment to your identity label. Yes, words about gender, race, sexuality, ability, disposition, etc., are important, but they also cannot define everything about who you are. Mental health words, in particular, are there to identify concerns and map out an individualized treatment plan—not to predict who you’ll become in the future.
conclusion
Being in your experience, not clinging to a message, does not negate the experience. I find silence to be a space that honors the complexity that words do not have. This can also open up connection with others who relate to the experience without necessarily relating to the identity label—and that includes people who came before us, before the existence of these social constructs like race, gender, sexuality, religion and behavioral diagnostics. Personally, I feel more peace and calm by connecting with these people and remembering that I exist as I am because they existed as they were.
