It happened again.
I came home from my son’s soccer practice, ran up the stairs and felt it immediately. They got my back and shut up.
And then that sinking feeling hit immediately:
“Not again. I was doing so well.”
Me too it was he is doing well It’s been about 2 years without a major flare, about 4 times longer than my average in most of my 30s.
If you’ve been following me for a while, you know I’ve been busy back pain for over 20 years thanks to congenital spinal stenosis and previous injuries. So I’ve been able to read the warning signs so I know when I’ve pushed a little too hard and need to back off.
This time I had noticed. I was careful. And it still happened.
But here’s what I want to share with you today.
When you’re hurting, or stuck, or feeling like you’ve fallen off track – especially if it’s happened in the past – it’s so easy to feel like that’s how it’s going to be from now on. Everything.
I see this with my coaching clients all the time. People dealing with chronic pain or conditions such as POTS or RA. But also people dealing with tendinitis, or a rough week at work that ruined their workout streak, or a stressful stretch that threw them off track with food.
The thought goes like this:
“Let’s go again. I just can’t take this anymore.”
But this is not true. Simply feels true right now.
The evidence almost always says something different. And that’s exactly why we need help reframing our inner dialogue sometimes. Because left to its own devices, your brain will happily ignore any evidence that doesn’t fit the “I’m doomed” story it’s telling.
Here’s what I remind myself (and what I’d tell you, too):
✅ You are more of an expert in your situation than you realize.
At this point, you’ve found some things that help. Or, almost as valuable, have you found things that No aid. Either way, the pool of strangers is shrinking. That’s progress, even when you don’t feel it.
For example, I know I need to do short, repetitive efforts of gentle movement throughout the day to help manage my pain and restore function. But that there is no “magic” exercise that will do it and that what my body needs each day will vary, so I have to be patient while I figure out what feels good today. Before, I would have felt lost and overwhelmed by this idea. Now, I know I just have to go through the process.
✅ Every flare-up has taught me something.
Sometimes it’s physical (a move to avoid, a move to help). Sometimes it’s mental (a story I keep telling myself that doesn’t actually serve me). Sometimes, it’s just more empathy for others dealing with chronic pain and challenges. I try to walk away from each one with at least one new piece of the puzzle.
✅ You can’t rush it. You can’t force it.
This is the hardest for me. I want a schedule. I think it gives me a sense of certainty and control when I feel most vulnerable. But sometimes the most important step is to surrender to the process and refuse to pile guilt, fear or anxiety on top of what is already a difficult week.
But “surrender” does not mean “doing nothing.”
You can’t rush the process, but you box you always find yours NAW – your next available win.
Not the giant comeback plan. Not the “I’ll be back to 100% next Monday” pressure. Just the next little thing you can do at this moment which breaks the spiral.
For me, this week, the NAWs looked like this:
- Getting on the heating pad
- I’m texting my doctor
- Expenses 5 minutes on the floor making some gentle movements
- I write down the spinning thoughts so they don’t rattle around in my head 😅
That’s all. A few little things. None of them “fixed” anything. But each one changed me from is acted upon from the situation to making a small action within it.
Your NAW will look different depending on what you’re browsing:
- Off track with food after a rough week? Your NAW may be jotting down an idea for your next meal or falling back on one go to eat when your time and energy are short.
- Missed some workouts? Your NAW can be a 10-minute movement snack, not a full “I’ll do double tomorrow” comeback. (That it almost always backfires.)
- In a mental spiral? Your NAW can be writing it, talking to someone, or grabbing something simple from yours Diet menu.
A flare is a flare. The story you tell yourself for the flare – and the next little thing you choose to do – is where you’re really in control.
So if you’re going through a rough patch right now, whether it’s pain, an injury, a derailed routine, or just a season where everything is harder than it should be – I know exactly how you feel.
This is not forever. You have returned to the past. You will come again.
What is it your next win available? 💪
You got this.
– Coach Matt
PS If you’re navigating a flare-up or injury, Coach Damien he’s someone on our team that I trust and works with people on these things every day. Take our quick Workout Quiz to see who would suit you.
