With the influence technology has on our daily lives in this day and age, I can’t be the only one who finds it hard to tear myself away from my phone as much as I’d like. As a stay-at-home mom of a toddler and preschooler (in other words, someone who has a million or two tabs open on my mind at all times), I’m not always proud of the screen time I log on my iPhone. The truth I need to say loud and clear, though? I don’t just scroll through social media.
Whether you’re a stranger who walked past me in public and judged me as I scrolled through my phone with my kids on my hip, or a familiar face who notes every time I seem distracted, hear me out. Yes, I’m on my phone all the time. But it’s not what you think. This is what I am actually act.
As moms, our to-do lists are never-ending
There is something to be said for the mental burden moms place on our families. In fact, I really think we could (and probably should) have a whole discussion on this topic. As the matriarchs of our clans, our to-do lists are never-ending. We are constantly thinking, planning, organizing, arranging, researching. . . in short, we do it all. All day, every day. And our cell phones are just a great tool for managing the daily mental burden of motherhood. And so a.m I do when it looks like I keep doing mine, you ask?
I research all things
Someone has to make informed decisions about my kids, and it’s not going to be my kids themselves. At least not when they are young and completely dependent on me to raise them to be healthy, educated, happy people. So, I’m constantly researching everything related to the child. I’m looking for the best shoe brands for early walkers, the most natural, dye-free pain reliever for teething toddlers, and the most sought-after preschool programs for my oldest daughter. I compare fitness studios and soccer programs, pediatricians and dentists with gastroenterologists, and top family vacation destinations. Heck, I even research the least heartwarming TV shows. As long as we admit to being victims of screen time anyway, yes . . . and my kids take it daily.
I schedule everyone’s appointments, classes, and activities (but mine, ironically)
No matter how easily I can fall behind in keeping up with my own scheduling needs, there’s no room for falling behind on things like that when it comes to raising babies. I use my phone constantly to schedule, reschedule, and confirm appointments for my kids. Between well checkups and regular exams, annual blood work, specialist visits, and everything in between, keeping up with my kids’ medical appointments requires a lot of attention to detail. In this case, it requires attention on my phone — almost all health portals, appointment reminders and results are accessible through the mobile app. The same goes for scheduling ballet lessons and mommy and me music sessions. It’s all online. So everything happens on my phone.
I set up play dates and opportunities to socialize
As a stay-at-home mom, I feel tremendous pressure to make sure my son and daughter have plenty of opportunities to socialize with other young children. Play dates are a huge part of achieving this goal. But they don’t just happen without adequate planning and coordination. I’m constantly texting back and forth with mommy friends, organizing playground and backyard get-togethers, signing up for weekly story hours at our local library, and RSVPing at birthday parties (not to mention planning birthday party). If I don’t do it to socialize, I know my kids won’t be able to either. Isn’t that what phones were for?!
I make shopping lists (and submit targeted pickup orders)
Groceries (and clothes and art and countless other items) tend to disappear with the kids. I will never understand how my family goes through as many boxes and pouches of applesauce as we do in a week. But me do know that it won’t be a good week if we forget to stock up. This is one of the many reasons why writing endless shopping lists has seemingly become a hobby for me. While I will always prefer good old pen and paper, using my phone’s Notes feature is much more convenient most of the time. So yeah, I’m scrolling. . . but it’s all in the name of providing happy, squeaky, tiny people.
I keep the extended family informed about my children’s lives
My children are lucky to have a lot of love in their lives. That said, we are unlucky in the sense that much of this love comes from a distance. We may not be able to see their grandparents, great-grandparents, aunts, cousins, and out-of-town friends as often as we would like. However, I can keep my loved ones updated through social media. Long phone calls to the people who care about my kids the most are just not in the cards these days. You bet I’ll be taking advantage of the group chats and quick and easy photo sharing!
I’m just trying to survive
No matter what I’m doing on my phone at any given time during the day, one thing is constant: I’m just trying to survive. I check off to-dos for my kids and family, only to end up with a dozen more. And then? I’ll be the first to admit that I occasionally indulge in some mindless scrolling as well. I’m a mom, not superhuman. Sometimes, I need a break from the endless expectations of everyday life, too.
I have no idea what my daily phone time is, but I do know this: I’m not just sloppy on social media, and I’m certainly not sitting around being lazy. Rather, as a mom, I am constantly working with the many tasks on my plate to complete for everyone else around me. So the next time you see me — or any other mom — glued to that trusty smartphone, I encourage you to rethink whatever you’re thinking. Because I promise you this: we do a lot more than scroll.
