Support for bipolar is important, but support for the bipolar you really need is even more so. We are all different and the support we need is also different. The problem is that it can be difficult to get the support we need when we need it. I would say that getting that support is actually a skill. So, if providing the support you need for bipolar disorder is a skill, how do we learn it and how do we practice it?
Types of support for bipolar disorder
People don’t necessarily understand that there are different types of support for bipolar disorder. Depending on who you are, your life circumstances and the state of your illness, your needs for support will vary. Support needs also vary over time — so support that worked for you two years ago may not work for you today. All of this is perfectly normal, although not necessarily obvious.
Some types of bipolar support you may need include:
- Help with tasks such as cooking and cleaning
- Help with errands such as picking up medication from the pharmacy
- Help with emotional support
- Help with transportation, such as going to appointments with a psychiatrist
- Help with communication
- Assist in treatment decisions
- Help solving problems
- Help remember to do certain tasks, such as paying your bills or taking your medicine
- Help with finances
- Help with navigating the health care system, government programs, etc.
And I’m sure you can think of many more. When you have bipolar disorder, many types of support may be needed. As I said, though, people won’t see all of these needs just by looking at you.
Why aren’t you getting the bipolar support you need?
A refrain I hear a lot from people with bipolar disease is, “My loved ones don’t understand how to support me.”
People who love you may recognize that you need support. They may even offer support. The problem is that they don’t generally offer the bipolar support you need. It feels a bit like a miscommunication. Your mother, say, offers to help you make treatment decisions when what you really need is someone to cook you dinner once a week. She may be willing to do this for you, but she has no idea that you need this support.
It is up to us to get the necessary bipolar support
I understand. It’s frustrating when you can’t get the bipolar support you need from the people you love. The thing is, it’s not all their fault. Your loved ones cannot read your mind. You’re the only one who can.
When people ask me how to support a person with bipolar disorder, I always say, “Ask them.”
As in, only the person with bipolar disorder knows the best way to support them. Yes, I can throw out suggestions, but at the end of the day, we’re all unique and I can’t know the best way to help a stranger.
That means it’s up to us to seek the bipolar help we need. I can understand how hard it can be to ask for what we need during an acute mood episode, but we have to. It is near asking for what we need to support our bipolar that we really can I get the.
Get the bipolar support you need by doing this
When thinking about the support you need for bipolar disorder, consider the following:
- Start with a list of support you would like to have. Include everything. don’t edit yourself. Think about everything. (I tend to write things like this so I can see them and make them more real to myself.)
- Put your support wishes into buckets: critical (can’t live without it), important (must have it soon or often) and enjoyable.
- Start with critical bipolar support needs. Find ways to get each one. If you don’t know how to get a certain type of support, enlist someone else to help you, such as a loved one or even your doctor. Think about how you can get what you need.
- Make a plan to meet each critical need. For example, get help filling out paperwork for new housing. Follow up when needed. File an appeal if needed. Feel free to enlist a loved one to help you implement this plan. For example, a loved one can fill out paperwork or make phone calls to take this burden off your back.
- Share your needs and plans for support with others so they can help you achieve it.
- Go ahead with your significant bipolar support needs one at a time.
- Proceed to your nice needs for bipolar support one at a time.
If you get stuck at any point, ask for more help. In addition to your loved ones, this can include:
- Clergy
- Help lines
- community resources
- NGO
- Health professionals
- Social worker
And enlist anyone else you can get your hands on. There is no shame in reaching out to anyone who can help.
The idea is to admit your needs, make a plan to meet them, and approach your needs. Don’t wait for someone to fall from the sky and solve your problems. Don’t expect loved ones, however well-intentioned, to know what you need. Only you can solve your problems and satisfy your needs.
I know that meeting critical needs in bipolar disorder is not simple. I know it can be difficult for some of us to find people to recruit to help. But it can be done. Even if you avoid meeting one support need, it’s better than none. Over time, you can work to fill another need. Over time, you can improve your life. But none of that will happen if you don’t reach out and talk about the bipolar support needs you actually have.
