Does intuitive eating mean eating whatever you want, whenever you want, as much as you want? That is certainly what many people believe. The simple answer is “No”. But I also want to give a disclaimer.
This disclaimer is it as an adult with bodily autonomy, you have the right to eat as you wish. If you really want to eat lots of cupcakes and chips all day, every day, then I support your right to do that. If you really want to eat plenty of salmon and broccoli all day, every day, then I support your right to do that.
However, few people would actually want to do this. If anything, it’s because eating this way is more likely to leave you feeling white or bored or both. And such a restricted diet would set the stage for nutrient deficiencies.
Even when you eat a fairly nutritious diet, if eating as much as you want leaves you feeling uncomfortably full every time you eat, you probably don’t want to keep doing that. Or maybe you do, and this fact upsets you because it puts your mind in conflict with your body. This is not an uncommon situation, but it is one that takes some time to untangle.
The importance of coordination
What Intuitive Eating is really about is eating in a way that is satisfying AND leaves you feeling good.
You eat because you are hungry (as opposed to ignoring or denying hunger because you “shouldn’t be hungry” or letting yourself get incredibly hungry).
You stop eating when you are a degree of fullness that feels comfortable to you (as opposed to not allowing yourself to eat until you’re full or overeating because you know your next “scheduled” meal is too far away).
You choose foods that taste good (as opposed to choosing “healthy” foods that you don’t really like.)
You also choose foods that help your body feel good and work well. You eat with coordination.
Intuitive eating is also about abandoning external dietary rules and ideas about “good” and “bad” foods, rather than learning to observe, listen and honor what your body and taste buds are telling you about what is authentically right for you.
It’s having a salad because it sounds good, not because it’s “healthy.” It’s about eating ice cream because you want something sweet and that’s exactly what would hit — without accompanying it with “I really shouldn’t have eaten that” thoughts.
It is the union of unconditional permission (the “Make Peace with Food” principle) to eat with coordination. Unconditional permission to eat with coordination can look like a mess. Unconditional permission to eat with coordination can feel like freedom.
What if you have trouble trusting yourself?
Is this easy? Not for everyone. If you’ve been operating under changing eating rules for years, either in the name of controlling your weight or in pursuit of “optimal” health, trusting yourself and not those rules can be difficult.
If you have one history of physical or sexual trauma or is a member of a marginalized group because of the color of your skin or your physical ability, and this makes it difficult to feel safe in your body, it can also make it difficult to trust your body and its conditions.
If you are neurodivergentt, it can be difficult to notice some of the internal signs of your body.
If you are recovery from an eating disorder, you may not yet be able to rely on hunger cues as a sign that your body needs food, and you may experience early satiety/fullness even when you haven’t eaten enough to meet your nutritional needs.
And if you have one health condition that reasonably means you should avoid certain foods and/or would benefit from the addition of others, incorporating that with the unconditional permission to eat part or even the coordination part can feel especially difficult.
But it is possible. Everything is possible.
Intuitive eating is a journey, not a sprint
A speed bump on the road to true food freedom is the fact that we’ve been conditioned to want and even expect quick results. This is true in many areas of life, but especially when adopting a new diet or fitness program.
So when you step away from dieting and into Intuitive Eating, it’s easy to bring the eating mindset with you along the way. (It’s not for nothing that the first principle of Intuitive Eating is “Drop the Diet Mindset”.)
But the work is worth it. Becoming an intuitive eater is an intensely personal journey, so it looks different for each person. But like you…
- Practice new intuitive eating skills,
- Experiment with new ideas,
- And become more adept at noticing and sitting with your thoughts and feelings about food and eating…
…your relationship with food becomes easier and you become more confident as an eater.
You gain clarity about which foods you love, which you just like, which you could take or leave, and which you’ll always say, “no thanks.”
You feel confident set boundaries around food, whether that means gently but firmly saying “No” to people who push food, or making sure you’re eating well when you’re on vacation with people who have very different diets.
You might find you become more selective (in terms of quality) while at the same time your food world expands (in terms of variety).
Now, being more sure about what you like to eat and what foods suit you doesn’t erase the job of doing some degree of meal planning so you can make sure you have those foods in the house when you need them. (Unless you’re a makeshift cook who keeps a well-stocked fridge/freezer/mortgage, I guess, but even then you have to plan on thawing the chicken.)
Where did the idea of ”no food for all” come from?
So why do so many people think that Intuitive Eating is a food free-for-all?
One reason is simple misunderstanding. One hears a little about Intuitive Eating and jumps to the wrong conclusion. Or, maybe the person explaining about Intuitive Eating wasn’t very clear (not all people are equally good at communicating unfamiliar ideas).
Or, maybe it is deliberate misunderstanding. Some people believe that we ALL need to follow a rule-based diet, whether for health or weight loss, so anything that rejects that must it’s the all-cupcake diet.
Or, maybe someone tried Intuitive eating on their own and missed the part about “unconditional permission to eat WITH attunement” or had trouble actually doing the attunement. the food felt chaoticwhich leads them to feel physically unwell and perhaps experience a combination of fear and guilt. So they got out of the transporter room as fast as they could, slammed the door and told anyone who would listen that Intuitive eating was nuts and a sure path to nutritional disaster.
Or, maybe they struggle with significant emotional eatingand are frustrated that even though they can recognize hunger and fullness cues and know what foods taste good while making them feel good physically, they continue to seek out foods that calm them emotionally but leave them feeling sick. So, clearly, Intuitive eating doesn’t work.
Each of these examples, unfortunately, is picked up on social media, mainstream media, and good old fashioned word of mouth. And sometimes the already flawed message gets twisted even further, like in a manipulator game.
Related posts
Here are some previous posts I’ve written that you might find helpful.
Carrie Dennett, MPH, RDN, is a registered dietitian nutritionist based in the Pacific Northwest, freelance writer, intuitive nutrition consultant, authorand speaker. Her superpowers include; debunking nutritional myths and empowerment of women feel better about their bodies and make food choices that support pleasure, nutrition and health. This post is for informational purposes only and does not constitute personalized nutrition or medical advice.
Looking for 1 on 1 nutritional advice? Carrie offers a 6-month Food & Body program (intuitive eating, body image, awareness, self-compassion) and a 4 month IBS management program (How-FODMAP diet coaching with an emphasis on increasing food freedom). Visit the links to learn more and book a free introductory call to see if the program is a good fit and if we’re a good fit!
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