Here for sexhealthmatters we often talk about the role of the brain during sexual activity. While genitals may seem more involved with “action”, the brain is a great coordinator. It takes sexual stimuli (such as a provocative smile or a touch), processes them and sends messages to the genitals to start preparing, either through erection or vaginal lubrication.
But there is more about the brain and gender than these normal processes. The brain also filters our emotional and psychological answers to sex. Analyzes questions such as:
- I trust my partner?
- Will I stay my partner or get pregnant?
- Does my partner have a sexually changing infection?
- Is it a safe place for sex?
- If I can’t perform sexually, what will my partner think?
- Will she hurt sex?
- Will my husband learn that I have a case?
- I really want to have sex with this person right now?
The list could continue. Such concerns – and more typically diagnosed anxiety disorders – can have an impact on our sexual function. This is what we will talk about today.
What is stress?
We all felt sometimes anxious. The events of life, such as the start of a new job, the married or the existence of a baby can be all that cause anxiety. But so they can start smaller events, such as asking for an increase in work or handling a dispute with your neighbor.
Sometimes these feelings of concern appear in situations that would not make the average person anxious. Emotions can begin to intervene in everyday life.
In this case, a person can be diagnosed with anxiety disorder, such as generalized anxiety disorder (excessive stress), panic disorder (episodes of great fear), social anxiety (fear of social situations and crisis by others) or post -traumatic stress disorder (anxiety).
The relationship between stress and sex, however, can be circular.
Feeling that it can hurt your sexual function. For example, if you are worried about your partner’s fidelity, you may find yourself focused on sex during sex, making it harder to relax and stay at the moment.
On the contrary, if you have a medical condition that sex can make sex unpleasant, such as endometriosis, pain prediction can reduce your sexual desire or lead you to avoid sex completely.
How can stress affect sex?
The brain works in many mysterious ways and the effects of stress on sexual function can take many forms. Here are some of the most common:
- Low desire. Stress can make us less interesting about sex. For example, if a woman suspects that her partner is unfaithful, she may feel inadequate, angry and less willing to have sex.
- Implementation. Sometimes people are so worried about the pleasure of their partner who suffers their performance. Men may have trouble getting an erection or they may be ejaculated before they want. Women may have trouble relaxing enough to allow penetration.
- Pain. Pain is a common sex problem, especially for women. Unfortunately, the expectation of pain can become so intense that it excludes any pleasure.
- Problem with orgasm. The effects of stress can have cumulative effect, making it more difficult to achieve orgasm.
- Avoidance. People can be so worried about sex that they avoid dating, relationships and sex.
What can people do?
If you think anxiety intervenes in your sex life there are several steps that you can receive:
- See your doctor. Sometimes people feel clumsy to see a professional for stress and try to manage it on their own. But there is nothing wrong to ask for help. Your doctor may refer you to a mental health specialist who will end up with a therapeutic plan adapted only to you.
- Consider providing couples for couples. If you feel anxious about some aspect of your relationship, you may see a specialist focusing on the treatment of couples. You and your partner can learn to work with your problems constructively and find strategies to improve home life. You can also learn better communication skills.
- Try sexual treatment.Sexual therapy is another type of counseling, but it focuses more on sex itself. It can be a useful choice for people with stress stress or sexual fears.
- Be ahead with your partner. Many couples have trouble discussing sex. Sometimes, we just have to take a deep breath and start the conversation. Be honest about how you feel. Your partner may think about the same issues and feel relieved to have brought them. Also, be open with your partner for what you find good and ask for what you want sexually.
- Focus on intimacy. Your fears and worries can take a lot of spiritual energy and keep you just enjoying sex for what it is – a relationship between two people in a moment. Try to focus on what is happening. Use your senses – what kind of touch, sounds and smells do you face? Are they enjoyable? Put your attention there.
- Say “no” if you want. If you don’t want to have sex with a particular person or at a certain time, you don’t need it. You have every right to say “no”. This is also true if you and your partner disagree about sexual practices, such as the use of condoms. (Click here to find out more about sexual consent.)
Resources
Bustle.com
Florio, Gina M.
‘7 ways sex is different when you have anxiety’
(29 July 2016)
National Institute of Mental Health
‘Anxiety disorders’
(Last revised: March 2016)
Psychiatric times
Corretti, Giorgio, MD and Irene Baldi, MD
‘The relationship between anxiety disorders and sexual dysfunction’
(August 1, 2007)
