It’s that time of year when body image tends to take a turn for the worse (I’m looking at you summer!). Follow these three tips to improve body image during the tough summer months, but keep them in your back pocket to pull on year-round!
What is body image?
I talk about this in the best body image books post. There are so many different ways we can describe body image, but I think of it as the mental image you have of your body, which includes thoughts, feelings, attitudes, and beliefs about your body.
Body image is influenced by many factors, including systemic oppression (the culture that tells you thin bodies are best and fat bodies are bad), your genetic makeup, your history (including any trauma), values you etc.
Body image therapy work is a practice – it’s not a destination you arrive at and then you can lounge on the deckchair and drink swag all day (although wouldn’t that be nice?!). It’s a journey. A practice of continuing to come home to yourself and your body.
Some days/weeks/months will be harder than others and require more attention, energy and grace, and other times will be a little easier and lighter – you might not have to think about it so much.
Body image therapy work is about getting right with your body. Think about other relationships you are in – perhaps with a partner, child or friend. Some days you feel really connected and supported by this person, and other days you may feel at odds with them or disconnected.
You may feel a lot of love for that person one day and be completely disappointed with them the next. It’s the same experience for the relationship you have with your body.
And as I’m sure we’ve all experienced at some point, relationships take work. Sometimes hard work. Being in the right relationship with your body also takes work. And that task might look like these three tips I offer below (and of course it might look like other things I don’t mention below – I only have so much space in one blog post!)
Tips for a better body image
1. Ask yourself what your beliefs are about bodies.
Before you dive in, I think it can be helpful to have a basic understanding of your body image today and how you got here. What factors have shaped how you feel about your body today? This will give you a sense of context, understanding and perhaps even compassion for your thoughts and feelings about your here and now body.
Isn’t there a saying that to know where you’re going, you have to understand where you’ve been? I feel like I didn’t just make this up and I’m not sure who to credit, but I think it applies here :).
Maybe you create a body image timeline where you map out early childhood, school age, pre-adolescence, adolescence, young adulthood, adulthood and note any memories of experiences or events during those periods of your life that affected how you felt about your body (positive, negative, or neutral). Maybe you changed a behavior or took some action (ie started a diet) because of it and can write about that too.
And/or perhaps journal the following reflection questions:
- What are your current beliefs about bodies?
- Who gave you these beliefs?
- Are these your beliefs or someone else’s?
- How did you learn that some bodies are better than others?
- How strong are each of these beliefs (percentage on a scale of 1-10)?
2. Get clear on what makes you feel better (and worse) about your body.
Okay I will. Here’s what makes body image so difficult. It is dynamic and perceptual in nature – constantly changing based on internal and external factors.
Here’s an example of how this is done:
You wake up in the morning, put on baggy pants and sit next to someone who is older than you. Right now, you may feel smaller and perhaps better about your body.
Later in the day, after you’ve eaten a few meals, you’re feeling a little bloated and now you’re wearing skinny jeans. You get on the train and sit next to someone who is shorter than you. At that time, you may feel older and perhaps worse about your body. Your body size has not objectively changed over the course of a day, but your body perception has changed significantly.
Because body image is so perceptual in nature, it can be helpful to have a firm understanding of the dynamics of your body image—what are the things that make you feel most positive to neutral about your body, and what are those that make you feel more negative about your body?
Here are some examples of things that can make people feel better about their bodies:
- hiking
- cooler weather
- wearing cute comfortable clothes
- relatively low stress levels
- yoga
- doing a massage
- taking a shower
- skin care
Here are some examples of things that can make people feel worse about their bodies:
- social media
- stressful life events
- Premenstrual syndrome or having a period
- bloating / gastrointestinal discomfort
- comparisons or body control
- warmer temperatures
- sweating
- not to get dressed in the morning
How about making your own list? What would happen;
You can use this perceptual body image map to better understand your experience. If you’re feeling negative about your body, you could reference your list to help you understand what else might be going on that’s affecting it. You could also use the map to help you remember what tools or activities help you feel slightly better in your body so you can draw from them.
Usually these things aren’t magical fixes that make you suddenly love your body, but if you notice that they make you feel 5% better about your body, that’s a win! We’re aiming for small subtle changes, not perfection (because spoiler alert: perfection doesn’t exist).
3. Drive with self-compassion.
Self-compassion is part of the foundation of body image healing. Self-compassion involves treating yourself with kindness, being mindful in the moment of emotion without judgment, and remembering that your lived experience is part of being human and that others struggle with the same things. If you want to learn more, check out my blog post that goes into the 3 principles of self-compassion.
Self-compassion can be used at every step along your healing journey. However, this is also a practice, so give yourself some grace as you hone this skill.
Self-compassion involves treating yourself with kindness – this includes your body. This might look like:
- nourishing your body with enough food that makes you feel good
- not punishing your body with rigorous exercise, but instead engaging in movements that feel good
- shower and wash your face regularly
- go to bed early to get enough sleep
- you rest when you are tired or in pain
Self-compassion can also be used when you’re having a rough day with body image. Instead of berating yourself for your negative body image, you can talk to yourself with warmth and kindness – “I’m sorry honey, it’s so hard to sit with these negative feelings.”
Can you remind yourself that there are so many other people around the world who are also having a rough body image day, and can you connect with the collectiveness of this very normal human experience to feel less alone?
Can you sit with uncomfortable feelings and let them move through you instead of pushing them away?
Self-compassion can also be practiced when you are not further along in your body image healing journey or when you feel like you “should” be further along. Can you gently remind yourself that body image therapy is a practice and a journey, not something to perfect or a destination to reach?
Can you appreciate this place trying to manage your treatment and wanting the best for you? You can remind yourself that everyone is on their own healing journey and everyone circles their own mountain to see the same face over and over again. Remind yourself that you are not alone in this journey.
What would you add to this list? What helped you improve your body image? Tell me in the comments below!
For more body image support, check out my other posts below:
The best body image books
5 Tips to Cope with a Bad Body Image Day
3 Ways to Navigate When Clothes Don’t Fit (Without Another Diet!)
How to make your social media more body positive
