For more helpful blog posts or to make an appointment click the link here: Tim Robinson Counsellor- men’s welfare Christchurch.
Below are some ideas that I have personally found helpful during my stress journey. My clients have found it helpful and everything is documented if you want to look into it further. I hope you find them useful even as a starting point. If you think you need more one-on-one help, don’t hesitate to get in touch.
1. Description
There are several ways to Post, but the two I like are a gratitude journal (listing things you’re grateful for in the past day/week) and a more “general” feelings journal about how the day or week went. These can be the positive and not so positive aspects of the day/week. Writing down how you feel without editing allows you to process the feeling or understand what was going on. There is something about physically writing with pen and paper that seems to be especially helpful. Remember that the journal is just for you, it’s not an essay and it doesn’t have to be perfect. You don’t have to read it again if you don’t want to. It’s just a method to get thoughts/feelings down on paper and help you process them. Writing it down means you’re able to take a “step back” from what was happening in a way you might not be able to do in the heat of the moment. This allows time for reflection and processing.
2. Mindfulness/Meditation
My favorite method of doing this is what’s called “guided meditation.” Here you listen to someone (often surrounded by relaxing music) talk you through a process of letting go of your thoughts, relaxing your muscles and being ‘present’ (some of these can be found for free on YouTube). This means focused on the present, rather than the future or the past (a common symptom when it comes to anxiety). You are often instructed to pay attention to your breathing or to allow your feelings and thoughts to be noticed and then let go. A metaphor I’ve heard for it is that it’s like watching clouds pass you by in the sky. It takes practice, but it’s an effective tool to stop thinking and calm down.
3. Challenging your thinking
When we’re anxious, we’ll often think the worst or think ahead to events that haven’t happened yet. We may dwell on the past, obsessing over a conversation we once had, how embarrassing it was, and how we could have handled it differently. Several clients have told me that they know these thoughts are irrational, yet they still feel affected by them. Challenging your thoughts isn’t about fighting them, it’s about accepting and then letting them go (just like you learn to do with meditation) or finding a realistic alternative. I often ask clients to ask themselves: Is true? There is evidence to prove it? And Thinking this way gives you more of what you want? If the answer is no to all or some of them, it’s time to change that thinking! This site includes a series of Cognitive Behavioral-based worksheets to challenge your thinking: Just a thought
4. Classified exposure
It’s about creating a series of “behavioral experiments” ranging from the least stressful to the most stressful. An example would be, I might want to go to the supermarket, but I’m too anxious to do so. The tasks are then broken down into small chunks. I might drive there, pop in for 10 minutes and then leave. Next time I might stay a little longer to buy something or even say hello at the checkout. The third time I might make small talk with the cashier. The idea is that you get to work out what is most stressful, and the more you do, the less stressful each step becomes.
5. Relaxed Breathing
While we are anxious, our breathing can become short, sharp and shallow. An increased heart rate, tightness in the chest, or tightness in the neck, neck, and shoulders are symptoms I often hear about anxiety. Learning to breathe fully can calm you down as well as give you something else to focus on besides the stress you’re experiencing. It’s a good skill to learn and often a good starting point for managing stress. I recommend that you practice this breathing pattern when you are not in a stressful situation and feel good at first, otherwise it can be difficult to remember how to do it if you happen to feel upset or panicky.
6. Exercise
Exercise has a number of benefits for your overall health, but it can be especially helpful in managing stress. When we are anxious our cortisol levels (the stress hormone) increase. One way to help manage this stress response is to exercise, as it will ‘burn off’ cortisol and often make you feel calmer and more relaxed. It may also be helpful in reducing muscle tension. An added bonus it’s also good for your waistline, heart and muscles!
7. Nutrition
Research shows that eating healthy can be beneficial for mental health and for managing stress. If, for example, I eat a lot of sugar, this creates a sharp “spike” in glucose levels. But soon after, there’s a sharp drop that can then lead to irritability and mood swings (often low mood as your blood sugar levels drop). Coffee can also have an impact. One or two a day might be fine (depending on one’s caffeine sensitivity), but five a day, for example, would have a big impact on anxiety. It also has an impact on sleep and this correlates with stress levels (discussed in the next section). Eating a healthy diet is helpful as another “tool” to give yourself the best chance to manage stress well. You’ll also likely have more energy and be better able to focus.
If you want to learn more about mental health and nutrition, check out this TED talk:
8. Sleep hygiene
Adequate sleep is extremely important for both a stable mood and stress management. Think about how your anxiety feels after a “good” night’s sleep versus a broken night’s sleep. 8 hours is commonly advertised as the “gold standard”, but it can vary from person to person. Mood is often lower if we are tired and it tends to be harder to manage stress as we have less ‘brain power’ and energy to do so effectively. Poor sleep often leads to increased anxiety the next day, while adequate sleep will make us feel more positive and more likely to have a lower level of stress. Do yourself a favor and establish a regular sleep schedule.
9. Possession
I often hear clients tell me they are “people pleasers” or conflict avoiders. This is usually in relation to authority figures whether it is a boss, someone with a position in the community, a demanding friend or even a family member with a more dominant personality. Assertiveness can help someone feel more confident, in control of their life, and feel that their needs are being respected. This can help reduce stress and create a sense of security. Claiming is not about being aggressive, as it is sometimes confused. and it’s not something you can become good at overnight. He tends to practice continuously until he feels more comfortable.
10. Routine
I have already mentioned this in my previous post 5 Keys to Men’s Mental Wellness (timrobinsoncounsellor.com). However, it can also be good practice when managing stress. Adding routine to your day can add a sense of security and predictability, the opposite of what many anxious clients typically feel.
Here’s a link that covers a number of these topics with more detailed fact sheets: Caring for someone with mental health problems – Factsheets and resources
For more helpful blog posts or to make an appointment visit: www.timrobinsoncounsellor.com
