Maintaining a positive mindset can be difficult. At least it can be for me sometimes. Personally, I have to constantly work on flipping the script to find a positive angle because it never came naturally to me. I’ve always been like this, wondering why I can’t just be happy all the time like some of the people I’ve met in my life seem to be. Instead, I have to actively work to keep a brighter perspective at the forefront of my mind.
For whatever reason, it doesn’t come naturally to me…
A long time ago, as a wide-eyed nineteen-year-old, I volunteered to be part of a manager development group at work, where store managers had an hour a week to train us to be future managers or supervisors. In every meeting we had, the manager who started the initiative always told us that not only the future work we were aiming for, but life itself was about mindset and more specifically, maintaining a positive mindset.
Easier said than done I thought.
At the time, I struggled to understand exactly what he meant. As in, how do I suddenly tell myself to have a positive mindset? Was it just a case of trying to see the positive in everything? When I was feeling down, it seemed impossible to create a positive mindset when everything inside me said otherwise. In my experience, when you try to tell someone to be positive, it usually doesn’t work. It’s not as simple as saying. “Just be positive”
It wasn’t until many years later that I began to understand what it really meant to have a positive mindset. I still haven’t been able to flip a switch on demand, instead I’ve had to develop positive mindset habits that I try and practice every day, even when I’m feeling tired or like I really want to sit grumpy and be alone.
In my own experience, these habits to maintain a positive mindset need to be practiced on a regular basis. I would say it’s important to remember that everyone is different, but I hope you can find some inspiration from these techniques I use.
1. Associate with people who are likely to improve you
“Work with people who are likely to improve you,”
Seneca
For a long time, I mixed with others who did things I didn’t want to be a part of. While they were my friends, I knew I wanted better for myself and to grow in a different direction, so I knew I would have to separate myself. Of course, it was hard to find space away from my friends, but looking back I know it was the right thing to do. It’s hard to be the person you want to be if you’re surrounded by those who don’t want to support you.
In my experience, constant negative thinking or negative behavior from others vibrates around you and this input from your environment can have a real effect on you.
Find those who align with your interests and uplift you, and it will be easier to cultivate a positive mindset than just being in their company.
2. See your obstacles as challenges
“Difficulties strengthen the mind, as work strengthens the body”
Seneca
Begin to see your obstacles as challenges that once overcome will make you stronger than before. If there’s one thing I think is unequivocally true, it’s that obstacles will come up that make you want to curl up in your bed and hide. Life can be hard and unpredictable at times, so having a positive mindset is sometimes more about building resilience than just trying to see things positively.
Just as repeated resistance to your muscles makes them grow, facing your obstacles head on can strengthen your mindset and make you more resilient. When you prove to yourself that you are capable of overcoming your obstacles, you begin to realize that you don’t need to be so afraid of the world.
A challenge makes you grow.
In my life, this has boosted my confidence and this has helped improve my overall mindset. For example, when I was being picked on at school, it wasn’t until I stood up to the bully who made my life unbearable that I realized how resilient and strong I could be.
3. Remember that this is all temporary
Another thing that has really helped broaden my perspective and help me maintain a more positive mindset is looking at the world through a more philosophical lens. Specifically, to remember on a constant basis how temporary life is. I think most of us think we’ll be around forever when we’re kids. But of course, as you get older you start to get a sense of what life is really like.
The years can start to feel like they’re flying by faster and faster. You begin to realize how fragile and short life really is.
This never impressed me more than during my visits to the city of Rome. The lives of the ancients were shorter than ours in general whether due to war, famine or disease. But what I took away the most was how the ancient people of Rome were just like you and me. They were smart, ambitious and great innovators. The only thing that separates us from them is time. And the only thing that separates the way they lived from the way we live is knowledge.
There are many people who have come and gone before you and me, many life stories that are forgotten with time. Because you can only perceive the world and your life through your own eyes, it can be difficult to see the bigger picture and get out of your head.
Perhaps we are so comfortable in the modern age that we forget how temporary and fragile our lives really are.
Remembering this helps me keep a positive mindset because this is when I feel great gratitude for what i have right now. Whatever your struggle is right now, one day it will also be lost in time, so take what you have today and make the most of it.
4. Appreciate the Little Things
“Simple things are also the most extraordinary things, and only the wise can see them”
Paolo Coelho
One thing I really try and work on is to appreciate the little things and take care of them. If you had everything you wanted, would you ever be happy? I’m not so sure. In fact, as I get older I notice more and more how the little things give me the most joy and I’ve also noticed how these are the only things that consistently bring me joy over the years.
For example, the joy of morning coffee has always been there. The joy of finding and cooking a new recipe has always been there. Feeling loved by someone has always been there. Making someone laugh has always been there. Watching a football game has always been there.
These are easy things that I take for granted, but perhaps these are the things that I should appreciate even more.
Things like new cars and vacations feel good at the time, but they are short-lived.
Every day I try to pay attention to the little things that bring me a sense of joy because those are the things that make me feel good all the time and make my life enjoyable on a regular basis.
I think if you can find a sense of gratitude for the little things that make you happy, the bigger things will just be a bonus.
5. Focus on what really matters
“The more we value things beyond our control, the less control we have”
Acquired
There are so many around you that it doesn’t matter at all. One habit that helps me maintain a positive mindset is to pay attention to what matters and what doesn’t. This isn’t always easy, but ignoring all the noise out there has helped me keep a better perspective.
All day, every day, you are bombarded with noise. People try to sell you stuff, your news brings up hundreds of world issues, and social media wants to pick a fight with you. Is it any wonder we struggle to maintain a positive mindset in the western world?
We are constantly distracted, noise, noise. Constantly, we lose sight of what matters to us as individuals because we are so busy with things that I think so it matters to us.
What I try to do is spend my time doing the things I love with the people I love and that’s it. I no longer try to actively ignore everything else because I’ve made it a habit now, so I just do it naturally.
What are the benefits?
I am less stressed. I can think more clearly. I have a more positive mindset because my sense of general well-being is tied to the things I’m doing that interest me instead of anything else going on in the world that wants my attention.
It’s not always easy of course, but it gets easier the more you focus on what really matters to you.
6. Let
Everyone is bound to make mistakes. A habit I try to keep is letting things go. And I’ve noticed how this helps me maintain a more positive mindset in general.
There are so many things I could regret doing or saying, but I know I can’t change them now. In an ideal world, I could go back and apologize to someone or do something differently. One thing I’ve realized is how much thinking about these things makes me feel. It makes me feel like I can’t move on, enjoy the present moment and look forward to the future.
Hanging on to things is like a weight holding me down. Living in the past robs you of the present moment and you never really live your life.
Here is a great article from Healthline that details how you can let go of the past. For me personally, remembering that I can’t enjoy this moment seems to be enough to let go. I look at things as learning experiences and remember once again that all of this is temporary.
in conclusion
Use this post as inspiration in your life. These are habits that seem to work for me. It’s not always easy for me to maintain a positive mindset, for example, when there are many things bothering me at the same time, but I try to get back into these habits on a consistent basis.
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How do you try to cultivate a positive mindset? I’d love to hear in the comments.
