I see many clients who struggle with emotional eating. When they feel stressed or overwhelmed, they turn to their favorite foods and often feel guilty about not sticking to their diet.
It can take a long time to realize that eating because you’re feeling emotional doesn’t justify self-flagellation. In fact, it might even be encoded in our DNA. Instead of being overly restrictive, you can learn to understand your cravings, make healthier choices, and honor your hunger.
Why Do We Eat Emotionally?
Emotional eating is complicated. It may stem from childhood when a particular food may have been used as a reward (think chocolate for cleaning your room). But food is also associated with love and care from birth, because of the mother-child bond formed during early feeding. Thus, the desire to eat during periods of heightened emotion is not as unnatural as one might think.
Another important factor to consider is that dieting can actually increase cravings and overeating. Ironically, the more you try to restrict your diet, the more you may crave the foods you cut out of it. That’s why I recommend balance over strict rules to my clients.
Having a piece of chocolate after dinner every day will satisfy your craving and keep you from thinking about it all day. If you don’t feel deprived, you’ll find that you can actually stop after just one piece.
Dr. Matthew Goldenbergan addiction psychiatrist in Santa Monica, California, says, “The cause and trigger of emotional eating can be positive or negative.” In his experience, people eat emotionally for a variety of reasons.
“Some of my patients will eat to reward themselves,” he says. “They have learned that success and celebration are centered around food. Other patients deal with negative emotions such as anxiety, fear, stress and trauma by escaping through food.”
People eat emotionally because they’ve developed a connection between an environmental trigger or emotional state and the food, Goldenberg explains. “Some [habits are] genetically, some can be learned and shaped by what we saw growing up, and some may have become part of our routine as we evolved.”
Healthier – but still comforting – alternatives to eating your feelings
Let’s first be clear that food is a great source of pleasure and is meant to be enjoyed. It’s a part of life and it’s normal to eat occasionally for comfort, celebration, or other non-hunger related reasons. This is something that needs to be de-stigmatized. I often recommend that my clients eat the food they crave, especially during social events.
However, if it’s a typical day and you have the urge to reach for a common comfort food like chips or candy, try switching to something that will nourish your body. There are so many nutritious versions of your favorite foods out there that actually taste just as good.
Not only can finding healthier foods that are lower in sugar and higher in nutrients help your body physically, but it can also help relieve at least one cause of stress in times of stress.
Here are some common foods we all love to indulge in, along with healthier alternatives. Treat yourself while you treat your body and mind with these even more delicious healthier swaps!
| Category | Indulgence | Healthier exchanges |
| Sweetness | ||
| Cake | Bake a healthier version using fruit at home | |
| Brownies | Add avocado to your favorite cookie recipe to enhance the chocolate flavor while adding richness, moisture and heart-healthy fats | |
| Cookies | Oil-free cookies made with higher-fiber oats and lower-carb almond flour | |
| Ice cream | Coconut milk – or cashew-based ice cream, or nice cream (fruit-based, vegan, dairy-free) | |
| Chocolate | A block of high-quality dark chocolate (70 percent cocoa or more) is higher in heart-healthy flavonoids rather than milk chocolate | |
| Soda | Zeviaflavored sparkling water or kombucha | |
| Carbohydrates
| ||
| Sliced white bread | Lower carb cauliflower bread. One slice equals a full serving of vegetables! | |
| Pizza | Low-carb pumpkin, mushroom or cauliflower crust with vegetables | |
| Pasta | High-fiber whole-wheat pasta, black beans, lentils, or chickpeas, or vegetable pasta with zucchini, squash, sweet potato, beets, or other vegetables | |
| Rice | Lower carb cauliflower rice | |
| Salty/Fatty
| ||
| Chips | Nutrient-Dense Kale Chips, Spicy Sweet Potato Fries, or Zucchini Fries | |
| Cheese | Low-fat nutritional yeast or dairy-free cheese | |
| Microwave popcorn | Low fat popcorn | |
| Cheese puffs | Lower fat, higher fiber and higher protein chickpeas | |
| Instant noodles | Lower carb zucchini noodles in a higher protein bone broth | |
| Fruity
| ||
| Fruit flavored snack | Fresh fruits | |
| Sorbet | Frozen fruit, eaten alone or mixed into sorbet | |
| Juice | Mix one part orange, apple or cranberry juice with two parts seltzer for one-third the sugar of whole fruit juices | |
| Mall smoothie | Homemade smoothie with high protein Greek yogurt | |
| Creamy
| ||
| Cream-based soups (eg cream of broccoli) | Great spoon and Daily Harvest | |
| Whipped cream | Dairy Free Coconut Whip | |
| Standard peanut butter (made with added palm oil and sugar, eg Skippy, Jif) | Natural peanut butter (no added oil or sugar). Make your own in five minutes! |
How to manage emotional eating
Dr. Goldenberg says, “The first step is to be honest about needing help. The next step is accepting that help and surrendering that you can’t do it alone. Fear, stigma and shame often prevent people from seeking the help they need.”
It is important to know that you are not alone in this, and that some degree of emotional eating may even be normal. However, if you find that you’re eating for reasons unrelated to hunger more often, or if you’re turning to food as your primary coping strategy for difficult emotions, it’s time to address it.
Andrea N. Giancoli, MPH, RD, says, “A healthy and balanced diet is important for our overall health and mental health. This in itself can help us manage stress better. Sleep is also very important as part of a multifaceted approach that includes a balanced diet and exercise.”
Managing emotional eating can be a long journey, but the rewards, health benefits and improved life balance are worth it.
