If I had a quarter for every time I heard a customer say exasperated “I know what to do, just don’t seem to do it”, I wouldn’t be rich, but I would definitely have enough for a fun shopping journey.
There is plenty of information about the recovery of nutrition disorder, body image, health in any size® and intuitive consumption. I am sure that many of this information have been logged in with you. You’ve probably read tips, tools and strategies where you thought, “Hi, that’s a good idea! I want to try this!”
And yet, when it comes time to break the pattern or behavior of the nutrition mentality, it feels like you are stuck in a circle that repeats the thoughts and behaviors you are trying to change. You know what to do, but you just can’t do it. How frustrating! Understanding the concepts behind intuitive food and health in every size is one thing. In fact, participation with them is another.
There are many reasons why you may be struggling to change, despite the fact that you have a clear idea of what you are trying to do differently. You may not have the resources or skills to make the change. You may be in a state where your nervous system is regulated (ie race/flight) and you do not have the ability to do something different. Or perhaps what you think you need to do is not useful, and your intuition or a protective piece of kicks.
This frustration is such a common source of shame, so I wanted to share a ratio I use with my clients to help normalize because these things can feel so harsh. I say this path to the woods …
Because breaking the nutrition mentality The patterns and behaviors of thought are so hard
Think of the nutrition mentality and all the behaviors it produces as a well -worn path through the forest. It has been walking steadily for years (decades!) So the ground is damaged and stable. There are no branches or brush to prevent your way, so it’s a really easy and comfortable path to follow. If some of your thoughts or behaviors with food and body image feel almost reflexive, so. Your brain circuit has traveled on this path thousands of times before, through diet, restriction and critical speech.
When you try to break the old thought of thinking, as you do when you try to cure a diet from chronic diet and disturbed food, transport metaphorically from the beaten path. Think of it as forging a new path through the forest, bypassing the branches, stumbling over the roots and stumbling the loose, leaf covered by the leaf. May or may not have the feeling where the path you are driving gets you. As you can imagine, it is much more frightening and uncertain than the nice, warm, predictable path you used. Of course, there is a reason you are forging a new path. You know where this old path leads you, either behind the point you started – or directly from a rock!
I hope this ratio helps you see why when trying to change a behavior or cause a standard of thought, while in a state of increased stress it is particularly difficult to do. Think about how difficult it would be to choose to learn branches and travel over rocks when you are already in race or flight. It also makes sense because design and external reminders can be so useful, because if you are not really deliberate about what you are trying to do, it is easy to forget and slip back into the comfortable old pattern.
But the cool thing is that every time you take a new path through the forest, it becomes easier to travel. Over time, the new path will look like the old path, comfortable and well traveled, while the old path will be covered with fallen leaves and a verdant brush as it falls into uselessness.
This ratio explains the concept of neuroplasticity or brain’s ability to adapt, change and create new connections with time as you learn and continue to expose yourself to different patterns of thought and behaviors. Basically, this neuronal circuit that forces you to skip your afternoon snack almost instinctively or go to the critical speech when you look in the mirror or to mun your feelings with snack food – this is the well -worn brain path. The more you exercise something different, as if you are eating the afternoon snack and following or dealing with confirmations when looking in the mirror or using a different treatment instead of relieving food, the easier it becomes.
If you feel stuck in a shameful cycle as you repeat the same patterns, I hope this gives you some hope and understanding of why this treatment process is so long and harsh and why knowledge is not the same as you can follow it. Hang there! Every time you feel trapped in the nutrition mentality, imagine yourself in the woods, with a Swiss army knife in hand, cutting a branch to help you make a clear path. You have that!
If you are looking for support through this healing process, we are working with customers in all the US and we will be happy to be in your team. Read more about philosophy and practice services, and just reach out if you want to see if we are fit to work together.
