Understanding how your personal ‘resistant period’ affects your sex life
Orgasms are pretty great—so great, in fact, that many people would have them all day if they could.
But while cultural stereotypes often assume that men are hornier than women on average, it’s actually far less likely for a cis man to spend all day orgasming than a cis woman.
In fact, the concept of “giving someone multiple orgasms” is usually only associated with women having them. Because this?
While many things to do with sex have sociocultural gender roots, this is entirely a matter of biology — and it goes back to something called “the hardy period.”
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To get a better understanding of what the hot streak is, how it affects your sex life, and solutions you can use if yours is a problem for you in the bedroom, AskMen spoke with a handful of sex experts. Here’s what they had to say:
What is the Fire Period?
“The resistant period is a normal phenomenon that occurs after orgasm and ejaculation or after intense sexual stimulation,” he says. Dr. Joshua Gonzalez, sexual health ambassador for ASTROGLIDE. “During this period, the body experiences a temporary period of reduced sensitivity to sexual stimuli and a reduced ability to achieve another orgasm or arousal.”
Basically, the resistance period is a countdown clock that starts as soon as orgasm, and dictates as soon as possible that the next orgasm will occur.
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It will take a different amount of time for each person and, as we’ll explore later, will likely change over the course of your life, but it can be anything from a few minutes to several days depending on a number of factors.
According to Gonzalez, the refractory period “is believed to be regulated by a combination of hormonal, neurological and psychological factors.”
“After ejaculation, levels of neurotransmitters such as dopamine and oxytocin decrease, while prolactin levels increase,” he notes. “Prolactin is thought to play a role in suppressing sexual arousal and desire, contributing to the period of resilience.”
However, Justin Lehmiller, also ASTROGLIDE’s brand ambassador, notes that despite these theories, there is still no scientific consensus on the matter.
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Regardless of the cause, “the period of resilience will be unique to you and will likely change over time, often becoming longer” for penile men as they age, says the sex expert. Court Vox.
Your durable period can also “differ from one sexual situation to another,” notes Lehmiller.
Ultimately, he says, “There’s still a lot we don’t understand about the resilience period.”
Men’s vs Women’s Heavy Periods
“It used to be thought that only men had durable periods, while women didn’t,” says Lehmiller. “As evidence for this, people often point to studies showing that multiple orgasms are common among women, but not men.”
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“However, as more research has been conducted on multiple orgasms, we’ve seen that there are indeed some men who have this experience and many women who don’t,” he adds. “We definitely need more research on this, but it’s possible that everyone, regardless of gender, has a durable period and that, on average, women’s periods are much shorter, sometimes measured in seconds.”
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This need for more research is, unfortunately, symptomatic of much of the medical science surrounding sex.
“The resistant period in human AFABs is less well studied and understood compared to those of AMABs,” notes Dr. Gonzalez. “But that’s true for a lot of sexual health issues.”
“It’s important to note that endurance periods can vary greatly between individuals, with some lasting minutes to hours while others are seemingly absent altogether, allowing some individuals to achieve multiple orgasms in quick succession,” he adds.
“Anecdotally, based on my embodied work with Back to the Body AFAB women, I’ve seen that AFAB people can become more polyorgasmic with age, while most AMABs will take longer and longer to recover as they age. Vox notes. .
That’s right – as they get older, people with vaginas get better at having orgasms and people with penises get worse. If you feel unfair, remember that the ‘orgasm gap’ is a real phenomenon that sees women who have sex with men get far fewer orgasms. So maybe it’s a way for them to catch up with the weather.
The Refractory Period Changes Over Time
That’s right — an interesting (and possibly frustrating) aspect of the period of resilience for people with a penis is how it changes over time.
“Resistant periods tend to increase in length with age,” says Lehmiller. “For younger men, especially in their teenage years, it can be a matter of minutes. For a much older man, it could be hours, or maybe even days.”
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However, Gonzalez points out, age is not the only factor involved. “While the period of resilience tends to lengthen with age, it can vary greatly between individuals and can be affected by a variety of factors beyond chronological age, such as stress, anxiety, relationship dynamics, as well as other underlying medical or psychological conditions ». notes.
Eventually, as you get older, your body and the ways it works will change in a number of ways, and this is just one of them.
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This change, while it may be unwanted, unsettling, or even downright unpleasant, “doesn’t mean one can’t continue to engage in love or sex play,” Vox points out.
“It just means that interest and arousal levels may shift, and arousal and/or erections won’t be as readily available,” he explains.
If you’re curious, Vox says, you can try tracking how long it takes you to achieve an erection or orgasm after your last one.
“Notice whether it’s 15 minutes, 3 hours, a day, a week,” she suggests. “Although changes do occur with age, everyone is different and some will notice more change than others.”
Dealing with a Long Firefight Period
Whether it grows over time or is simply longer than you’d like, dealing with a long period of resistance can be frustrating.
1. Contact your sexual partners
“Navigating a longer period of resilience with a partner requires patience, understanding, and a willingness to explore new ways to experience intimacy and pleasure together,” says Dr. Gonzalez.
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But, she notes, “by communicating openly, embracing variety, and prioritizing mutual satisfaction, couples can maintain a rewarding and satisfying sexual relationship despite the challenges associated with periods of resilience.”
2. Enter the sexual innovation
You can also try things to shorten the period of resistance, Lehmiller says.
“If you’re experiencing long periods of resistance, there are a few things that could potentially reduce them,” he says. “One is to explore adding more novelty to sexual activity. We see that in very original, intense and exciting sexual experiences, people sometimes find it easier to maintain arousal after orgasm and possibly have more orgasms.”
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3. Try erectile dysfunction drugs
Another thing you can do to shorten the length of your period is to consider drugs like Viagra and Cialis, which some men find help them maintain a higher level of arousal after orgasm and sometimes they have multiple orgasms,” adds Lehmiller. “However, the data on this are mixed, and the effects of these drugs appear to vary between individuals.”
And while these types of vasodilator drugs could help, “for some, the side effects are too hard to take,” notes Vox.
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4. Address your heart health and testosterone
Another approach, he says, is to eat healthily to increase blood flow and heart health.
“Testosterone replacement therapy could also help boost arousal and ‘aliveness,'” says Vox. “I recommend testing both your testosterone levels and your free testosterone levels, as both are vital in supporting vitality. “Free testosterone testing is often left off the table if not requested.”
At the end of the day, however, you do not have a significant degree of control over the period of your resistant period.
“This is a difficult one, because while there are certain things you can implement from a preventive medicine perspective, to enhance shorter periods of resilience, there’s also only so much one can do,” says Vox. “Your body’s response is your body’s response.”
5. Explore non-penetrative sex acts
“One solution to this is, you can remove your rocks (or not) and then if your partner can have more than one orgasm and wants to continue, you can give a hand, a mouth, a finger , game and help them have more,” says Vox.
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“Climax doesn’t have to be the end of an amorous experience, and penetration isn’t always necessary,” she adds.
6. Try to have sex more often
“Finally, start more,” Vox suggests. “I find that the pathway of arousal or desire in AMAB men over 40 starts to change from spontaneous to responsive, meaning it takes more effort to be sexual or amorous. it is no longer something that just happens on the fly, it has to be invited or sought out.’
“Keep a diary and notice how much time your body needs to recover in between, and then start making efforts to invite love and sexual play earlier,” she adds. “Experiment and see what your body is capable of and what it desires most.”
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