Alanna Kaivalya, PhD, is on a mission to awaken the female soul and improve the love of women and men around the world. He is a writer, a teacher, a leader of thought and a specialist in strengthening women. In her new book, The way of satisfied woman: recovering female power.
She begins her book with two provocative questions for women.
“What happens if there was a way to become a fully satisfied woman: someone who measured the meaning on her own terms, regained her feminine power, threw male expectations for herself and climbed her own throne Queenly?
I had the good fortune of interviewing Dr. Kaivalya for my podcast and I found it to be a living and informed visitor and a relative of the work I have done with men in the last fifty years. You can see the podcast here. At a time when there is so much confusion for men, women and relationships, Alana is clarified. Instead of adding conflicts between women and men, between the female and the male, it brings therapeutic shades of joy and enjoyment.
‘Let’s start with the femininity,” He says: “Most people assume that the word is related to anything, but what I want to know here is the dynamic mental (as in the” soul “) that is opposed and complementary to the male.
One of the things I appreciate most about Alanna’s work was her willingness to recognize the evolutionary realities that most people and all living things come to one of the two varieties – women or male.
“I speak to people whose gender assigned at birth is women and mainly express female polarity”
Says Alanna.
“This is not due to the fact that other sexes and expressions are not valid – of course they are!”
Continues to the state.
“But this book seeks to redefine femininity for Cisgender women and to provide support for the liberation of masculine examples that have oppressed and oppress us for a long time.”
These are good news for women, but also for men. I had similar goals for my book, Enlightened marriage: The 5 transformative stages of relationships and why the best is still ready. In my book and an on-line lesson I offer, I say,
“We all want real, constant love, whether we are in the 1920s, ’30s, 40s, 50s or beyond. However, too many marriages collapse and most people do not know why, they become frustrated with their marriage, they mistakenly believe that they have chosen the wrong partner.”
After going through the grief process, they begin to look again. But after more than fifty years as a marriage and family consultant, I found that most people are looking for love in all the wrong places. They don’t understand that disappointment It is not the beginning of the end, but the third stage of love.
Most of us grew up with romantic perceptions of relationships. We went for this magical someone, our soul partner, and we fell in love (Stage 1). After this stage 2 it was easy – and they lived happily always afterwards. But when frustration comes in, we feel we made the wrong choice or just Separated. We go through a process of sadness and start looking again or giving up love and marriage.
Here is my perception of a more enlightened path with the following stages:
- Stage 1: In love
- Stage 2: Becoming a couple
- Stage 3: Disappointment
- Stage 4: Creating true, lasting love
- Stage 5: Using the power of the two to change the world
Alanna is also faithful to the power of love. In her chapter on the “satisfied relationship” she says,
“Perhaps the most important relationship for modern adult female women is familiar cooperation.
Continues to say,
“This relationship has the ability to heal the greatest wounds suffered by the female, which is often – ironically – in the hands of the deformed male.”
Alanna shares the experiences that most women know well.
“Whether it was our father, the brother, the boys at school or the members of the wider community, it is almost inevitable that a young woman is experiencing some kind of psychological, emotional or bodily harm to the opposite polarity.
This is another area where Alanna and I are in full agreement.
“I can’t emphasize it enough,” he says. “We are injured in a relationship and are ultimately healed in a relationship.”
I describe two primary goals of Stadium 3, frustration. First, we must leave our romantic illusions, where we project our unfulfilled needs, hopes and dreams to our partner. We cannot have a successful relationship until we see our partner as a complex human being. To do this, the second goal is to heal our childhood wounds with our mothers and fathers.
‘We’re all injured’,
Dr. Kaivalya reminds us.
“While this may sound fatal, cynical, or like a total bummer, it’s just part of the human psychological state.”
No one gets through childhood without experiencing injury to our mothers and fathers, whether they were naturally present or absent. Alanna describes in detail the mother describing two polarities of “Enmeshment” and “abandonment”. All of us, whether women or men, came through a woman’s body. Most of us know the deep connection and the need for our mothers.
But very often, women and men grow up without a father’s emotional presence. Alanna has an important part in her book, “The father is injured: dealing with dad’s issues”. I wrote a whole book My distant dad: healing the wound of the family’s father. I said,
“There is a problem that goes beyond everyone else in its impact on men, women and society, the father of the family hurts the father whose father, who comes from physical or emotional absence, has been largely ignored.
As Dr. Kaivalya, the father’s wound also affects women. Says,
“I can feel the resistance to many readers, even when I am going to write these words: women inevitably fall in love with a copy of their fathers.
Alana talks to women the same way I talk to men.
“Whether our fathers were present in our lives or not, whether we participate in heterogeneous relationships or not, when we look at the familiar relationships as adult women, what we find is a common thread related to our early childhood experiences with the male parent or caregiver.”
I think everyone will recognize why I suggest Alanna’s book and her work for both men and women.
You can find out more about Dr. Alanna Kaivalya by visiting her website:
You can see the interesting podcast conversation with Alanna here.
If you want to read more interesting articles like these, I invite you to join our community and receive my free newsletter here.
