It fascinates me that you can change your life consistently. Intentionally repeating something simple can really make a positive difference.
There are many habits that can change your life. But I think it is possible to transform the way you think and feel by simply changing one thing.
You don’t need a master plan to turn things around for the better.
A simple tweak can make all the difference. And I have experienced it myself on many occasions.
But one habit that I would say has made a huge, real difference in my life over the past couple of years is this…
The habit of not complaining.
Maturity is when you stop complaining and making excuses and start making changes.
― Roy Bennett
I know what you’re thinking…”But everyone complains! It’s normal!”
And you would be right. I would even go so far as to say that complaining is addictive. And that’s a problem.
Something goes wrong and your instinct is to complain about it, maybe to yourself, maybe to those close to you.
Complaining is as common as the air you breathe.
It is a way to throw away the negative feelings you have inside. And I admit, I like to complain. It feels good to get out of my frustration about something.
But here’s the thing, rarely helps.
In fact, it rarely helps anything. It doesn’t help you and it doesn’t help anyone around you.
Complaining only makes YOU feel worse, as good as it is to get that immediate frustration out.
Complaining makes you feel worse about something, but it also makes others feel worse. I’m sure you’ve been around these people who complain all the time.
It’s no fun.
You can’t wait to get away from them. I would say that complaint is a toxic virus that can quickly infect and take over an entire room.
Basically, it’s getting bad vibes everywhere. Everyone’s vibe goes down the drain.
Don’t complain, even to yourself.
The worst kind of complaining is what you do in your head, your inner chatter. It can be a downward spiral.
I’m sure you do, and I’m sure you know how hard it is to quiet that internal dialogue.
Complaining can be holding you back from making positive changes, more than you realize. And so I think it’s important to be careful how much you complain if you’re trying to create better habits.
Catching yourself before you complain can literally be a life-changing habit.
Being aware of how much I complain has changed my life in a subtle but powerful way.
After all, the most important conversations you’ll ever have are with yourself. If you can make them positive, you are unstoppable.
So how do you overcome the complaint?
Not complaining is a choice
Because complaining comes so naturally and feels so good, the only way not to do it is to choose not to. It belongs to a split-second choice when something upsets you.
When you feel like you’re about to have a tantrum, catch yourself.
Ask yourself.
“Will complaining about it help in any way?”
If the answer is “No”, keep your opinions to yourself.
This is a very difficult skill to master, but trust me, it’s worth it. It will change your life.
When others start complaining, don’t encourage them. Instead, ignore them or talk about the positives of the situation. In my experience, this will make them stop pretty quickly. When people realize you’re not going to nag at them, they tend to relax before the virus spreads.
When you choose not to complain, you choose not to allow negativity into your life.
Create a positive feedback loop
Of course, there will be times when you have to complain about something, such as being overcharged at a restaurant or receiving cold food.
But, if you can stop yourself from complaining about all the little things in life, you open yourself up to a positive feedback loop.
What do I mean by that?
Responding in any way other than negative encourages positivity to come back your way. The more negativity you put out into the world, the more you will get back. You will constantly train your mind to see things in a negative light.
When you stop complaining, you open yourself up to receive as much positivity as you realistically can.
People are attracted to positive people. They want to spend time with them and steal some of their shine.
When you don’t complain about anything, people find it strange but also attractive. They wonder how it is possible and begin to become even better without even realizing it.
When you don’t complain, you only invite kindness into your life. Consider not complaining as a boomerang. You put good vibes out into the world and they will come back to you. It works every time.
It’s a feedback loop that can change your life.
If you continue this daily, you will start feeling 100% better in no time. It’s a hard habit to get into. It’s subtle at first, but it’s extremely powerful and can reshape your entire perspective once you notice it making a positive change in your life.
Sean C is a writer, passionate about improving oneself by maintaining healthy habits and doing things that make life more meaningful.
