Well, the election is finally over and I know a few things about you, my readers. Are you happy that the candidate won, or upset that your candidate lost, or just glad that you don’t have to watch any more political ads for a while and can stop receiving text messages asking for money. I also know that regardless of who we voted for, many of us fear for our future. And I also know that men aren’t the only ones reading my articles. Well, let me tell you why this is a call to men.
Everyone reading this, male or female, has things to do today, regardless of the election results. You have jobs to do, families to support, money to earn, bills to pay, meals to prepare, children who need your love and support, friends with problems, doctor appointments to make, treatments and decisions about what to do. do do the next thing in your life.
This is a call to men because for the past fifty-five years, since the birth of our first son, Cemal, on November 21, 1969, I have been helping men and their families live fully, love deeply, and make a positive difference in the world . I also believe that men are critical to the future well-being of themselves, their families, and most importantly the community of life on planet Earth.
For over fifty years www.MenAlive.com has been my window to the world offering proven resources—including articles, books, online courses, as well as counseling for individuals, couples, and family. Three years ago I invited several colleagues to join what I called a Moonshot for Humanity and Humanity to work together to improve the lives of men and their families. You can learn about our work at www.MoonshotforMankind.org.
We focus on men’s mental, emotional and relational health for three important reasons:
- Boys and men are lagging behind and we are experiencing higher levels of ‘deaths from despair’, with men 4 to 17 times the rate for women and increasing with age.
- When males suffer from depression and hopelessness, so do females. When we lose fathers, brothers and sons, loss affects mothers, sisters and daughters.
- Inward-looking violence can lead to higher suicide rates. If turned outward, it can lead to increased rates of aggression in the family, community and globally. Comedian, Elayne Boosler captured this reality when she observed “When women get depressed they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It’s a completely different way of thinking.”
In my years of working with men, I believe that men are both the “canaries in the coal mine” alerting us to the dangers we face, but also the hope for the well-being of all.
This is a time of transition in the US and the world
“Today, many things show that we are going through a transitional period, when it seems that something is progressing and something else is painfully born.”
said Vaclav Havel, former Czech politician, author and dissident.
“It’s as if something is collapsing, disintegrating and wasting away, while something else, still undefined, emerges from the ruins.”
I believe that if we are honest with what we see in the world, we will recognize the truth of Havel’s observation that something breaks down, wears out, and wears out. In her global bestseller, The Watchman’s Rattle: A Radical New Theory of Collapse, Social scientist Rebecca Costa looked at the problems facing humanity and said:
“Today, the issues threatening human existence are clear: an intractable global recession, powerful pandemic viruses, terrorism, rising crime, climate change, rapid depletion of the earth’s resources, nuclear proliferation, and failing education.”
The problem is not this political party or that, Democrats or Republicans, our side or the other side. It is something much more fundamental. Costa quotes her mentor, two-time Pulitzer Prize winner EO Wilson, who said:
“The real problem with humanity is that we have paleolithic emotions, medieval institutions and god-like technologies.”
Costa’s book was praised by a wide variety of people:
- “Problems eventually become too complex for average intelligence The Sentinel’s Rattle, Rebecca Costa portrays the challenges it presents.’ – Dr. James Watson, Nobel Laureate
- “One of those rare books that one picks up and then knows from the first few pages it is extremely important … extremely brave, dynamic and well-informed.” — Sir Richard Branson, environmentalist and entrepreneur
- “Rebecca Costa has written a riveting examination of our world’s most dire and complex issues. Her message for humanity is ultimately hopeful as she explores her fascinating theory about the brain’s ability to develop advanced problem-solving techniques in times of crisis. A must read!” –Donald J. Trump, Real Estate Developer and Entrepreneur
- “A brilliant understanding of how we got into our current predicament and how we can emerge from it relatively unscathed.” –Thom Hartmann, bestselling author and host The Thom Hartmann Program.
An Hour for Hope and a Moon for Humanity
As a healthcare professional working in the field for over fifty years, I have seen many people lose hope. Marriages fall apart, addictions take over our lives, we try and fail at our goals of losing weight, exercising more, saving for the future, or being the best dads we can be to our kids.
There are times when we reach the end of our rope and feel there is no point in continuing. We may even feel that the world would be better off without us. I have been in those dark places in my life myself and have been there for many others who have almost given up hope. What saved me, and what I find has saved others, is that we find a connection with another. We reach out or someone reaches out to us.
It can start with a few words. “You look like you’re in pain. What’s going on?’ Somehow in our darkest moments we find a glimmer of hope. We don’t know what would help, but we know we need something to change in our lives. In one of my darkest moments after a painful divorce, when I couldn’t see my young children, I saw a posting on a bulletin board for a men’s workshop with a talk by psychologist Herb Goldberg, author of the book, The perils of being a man.
These words caught my attention:
“The male has paid a heavy price for male ‘privilege’ and power. He is out of touch with his emotions and his body. He plays by the rules of the men’s game and with lemming-like purpose destroys himself – emotionally, psychologically and physically.”
I had no idea what to expect, but I joined a group of twenty-five other men on a Saturday in April 1979. The day was transformative. Those interested were then invited to meet the following Wednesday at the home of one of the guys who had helped put on the event to see if we would be interested in starting a men’s group.
Ten of us showed up and formed a group that started meeting weekly. Soon, a few guys dropped out and seven of us continued to meet regularly. We are still together, a band of brothers together till the end. My wife, Carlin, will tell you that one of the main reasons she feels we’ve had a successful 44-year marriage is because I’ve been in a men’s group for 45 years.
The Moonshot for Mankind is a movement committed to helping humanity on its healing journey. We believe that human mental, emotional and relational health is key to empowering men to live long and well. Our mission is to help men live healthier, happier, more collaborative lives – fulfilling lives of purpose and productivity, where men are supported and valued as they make positive contributions to their families, friends and communities. When this happens, families are strengthened, communities prosper and humanity takes its next leap forward.
In these trying times, it’s easy to lose hope. We live in uncertain times and the future can seem scary. Neuroscientist Julia DiGangi offers the following thoughts that I find helpful:
“As the world teems with uncertainty, it is vital to understand that the opposite of fear is identity. When you are frightened by uncertainty, this is the clearest message to turn inward—an opportunity to decide: When those around me are shaking and systems seem to be collapsing, who will I believe I am?’
Belief in ourselves and the hope that we can act to make a better world for ourselves and others is what keeps us going. Vaclav Havel offers these words of guidance:
“Hope is not the belief that something will go well. It’s the certainty that something is worth doing no matter how it turns out.”
We know the result of the election, now it is our turn to act. We have an opportunity to come together and support each other to become the people we were meant to be at this moment in human history.
We will be offering a number of events over the coming months and we invite you to join us. If you want more information, drop me a note at: Jed@MenAlive.com and put “Moonshot for Mankind” in the subject line. I look forward to hearing from you. Please share with others you think will be interested.
