What do ice, wax, hot drinks and ice baths have in common? They are all aids in the temperature game! Playing with temperature is a great way to turn up the heat in the bedroom (yes, pun intended) and explore your sexuality. Wanted to experiment with this twist but not sure where to start? Curious about the temperature game parameters to get started? Well, reader, you’ve come to the right place! Welcome to Temperature Play 101.
What is the temperature game?
Playing with temperature is a form BDSM—an acronym meaning slavery and discipline/dominion and submission/sadism and masochism. Narrowing this down further, temperature play is a form of BDSM sensation I am playing. In sensual play, sexual partners engage in five sensesusing things like wings, icicles, paddles or other tools to extend this exploration.
Temperature play falls under the umbrella of sensory play because partners use the dynamics of hot and cold to alter the sense of touch. Using hot and cold sensations activates the body’s thermoreceptors. Thermoreceptors they are specialized nerve cells that measure temperature changes and allow our skin to adjust its sensitivity levels accordingly. These temperature changes can be caused by things you already have or by extras aids where you buy
Hot and Cold: Forms of Temperature Play
There are many ways to participate in this shift, ranging from DIY methods to buying toys. Here is one list some hot and cold activities for you or your sexual partner to try.
Cool Activities
Use ice
I’m sure we’re all familiar with that scene in 50 Shades of Gray where Christian Gray uses an ice pick on Anastasia Steele. This is an accessible and inexpensive way to incorporate the cold in the bedroom. Simply take an ice cube and trace your or your partner’s body. Pro tip: try focusing on erogenous zones (eg lips, ears, nipples, thighs, etc.)!
Cold Shower/Bath
Take a cold bath or shower with your partner. This method envelops your entire body in a sensation of cold, which is different from targeted sensations. You and your partner’s bodies may react differently when you’re in a cold bath or shower—use this time to explore each other’s bodies and have fun.
Relax your sex toys
You can run your toys under cold water, submerge them or stick them in the freezer for a few hours. We encourage you to use caution and do some additional research before sticking sex toys in cold water or the freezer, as some materials are better for different methods. For example, materials like glass and stainless steel are great at freezing. Additionally, if your toys have battery covers or charging ports, you should cover them before submerging them in water. Again, we urge you to do some additional research to ensure your sex toy is safe for use with water, as some are not waterproof.
Hot activities
Hot beverages
Drink a warm cup of unspiced tea (to avoid irritating your partner’s vulva or penis) or a warm cup of water to warm your mouth. After that, explore your partner’s body with your tongue. You can also have oral sex after drinking the hot drink. This is similar to the cooling tactic of using an ice cube, but just a hot version.
Raise the temperature
Like, literally! Turn up the heat in your bedroom, living room, or wherever else you take it. This is an easy but often overlooked way to get into hot-tempered play. Feeling hot and sweaty will change the overall sensations in your body, which can turn you on even more. (Pro Tip #2: incorporate some cool activities to really test things out.)
Massage candles
Massage candles, when melted, produce massage oil which you can then rub on your partner’s body. Dripping the warm massage oil can increase the pleasure in targeted areas and then you can give your partner a sensual massage. Experiment with holding the candle at different heights. If you drip the oil closer to the body, your partner will experience more warmth. Keep in mind that you should stay away from household candles as they can cause serious burns.
Temperature play safety
There is a common misconception that the temperature game is for beginnersbut whether you’ve been applying the temperature game to your sex life for five years or five days, there are safety practices you can use to make sure you and your partner are as safe as possible.
Although this piece has focused on temperature play between sexual partners, temperature play can also be used solo! Exploring new sensations while masturbating allows you to figure out your likes and dislikes at your own pace. Once you’re sure of your likes and dislikes, you can practice this bodily autonomy by communicating your desires for temperature play with a partner.
Another safety measure is to apply the temperature play slowly. Exploring new turns can be intimidating, which is a perfectly normal feeling. For those who may feel intimidated, slowly introducing yourself to the temperature game can allow you to address any concerns in smaller steps. For example, try using it during the first 15 minutes foreplay. Once you are comfortable with the first 15 minutes, try increasing the length of time.
On the other hand, some find it exciting to explore new turns. This is also normal! We just want to acknowledge that, sometimes, jumping right into a turn can lead to dangerous situations. Taking the time to really understand how your body reacts to hot and cold sensations is key to safely practicing temperature play. While exploring new twists with partners, don’t be shy about setting boundaries. In addition, establish safe words beforehand and debrief at the end of the sessions to talk about what went well and what can be changed in future sessions.
So, now that you’ve been armed with some of Temperature Play 101’s coolest tips and tricks, we hope you feel more confident and more educated about how to safely navigate temperature play if you choose to. Let those fiery passions and frozen desires come alive!
Written by Jess Pearse (her/they).
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