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Home»Women's Health»“You have cancer” – Three words that change everything
Women's Health

“You have cancer” – Three words that change everything

healthtostBy healthtostFebruary 13, 2026No Comments5 Mins Read
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Season 2 of UNprivate Parts podcast will focus on the complex realities of breast and gynecological cancer journeys. From hearing your cancer diagnosis to undergoing treatments to surviving, this season will offer support and compassion to cancer patients and their loved ones.

In this episode of UN private partsDirector of Business Development Lauren Smith sits with her Dr. Jamie Pattersonboard certified breast surgical oncologist at Woman’s Hospital. Dr Patterson specializes in breast cancer surgery and has a keen interest in breast disease, cancer in pregnancy and cancer survivorship. Together, they discuss the cancer journey from diagnosis to survivorship from a doctor’s perspective.

What would you say to the patient who is gripped by fear after first hearing that they have cancer?

Dr. Patterson recommends having a support person with you during this appointment – ​​it could be your spouse, sibling, parents, or even your best friend.

“I always think of it as an explosion that went off in your life,” explains Dr. Patterson. “Something huge has happened that seems bigger than anything else going on in the world. And suddenly you have all these flames to put out. Our team is here to help you put out that fire and help you rebuild the pieces of your life, but you’re also going to have to call on the whole support team to get behind you.”

“A lot of people also associate cancer with death, but that’s not true anymore. It’s not your grandmother’s cancer care,” Dr. Patterson said. “Medicine has come a long way since then, and we have a lot more treatments available to us (depending on the specific diagnosis). Everything is very individualized now.”

What would you say to someone who is wondering if they missed something or if it caused the cancer diagnosis?

Some women feel guilty and wonder if they could have done something different to avoid cancer. However, Dr. Patterson believes that no one should feel guilty about a medical condition. She believes it’s important to let go of any “what ifs” in order to heal and move forward. “This is cancer, it’s insidious, it doesn’t play by the rules and it doesn’t follow the textbook.”

What advice do you give your patients about sharing their diagnosis in those early days when they’re still processing everything?

Since everyone’s journey is different, it can be helpful to pause and think about what you need and how your family can best support you before sharing your diagnosis. Once you tell your family, their first response is usually “What can we do?” or “What’s next?” Although they mean well, these questions can be stressful if you don’t have answers yet.

Setting soft boundaries early on is fine. You could say, “We don’t have all the details yet, but we know I have cancer and I have a strong care team. I’ll share more when I know more.”

Do you have advice on what family members can do or say?

Although friends and family often mean well, their concern can sometimes feel overwhelming. Detailed questions, treatment comparisons, or suggestions about doctors or tests to follow can add stress and may be medically inaccurate. In many cases, simply asking how someone is doing and actively listening can be deeply comforting.

However, sometimes patients don’t always know what they need. In this case, offering specific forms of help instead of open-ended questions can be helpful. For example:

  • “I’ll come clean your house for you. What day works best?”
  • “I’d love to bring a meal for you and your family so you don’t have to think about cooking. What sounds comforting right now?”
  • “If you’re comfortable, I’d be happy to come on your next date with you. Think about it and let me know.”
From a doctor who has walked this journey alongside so many women, what is the key message of reassurance you would like to offer?

When considering your cancer journey, Dr. Patterson believes there are two main things to focus on: getting the best care available and feeling comfortable with your doctor and medical team.

Entrusting your care to others can be challenging, but she reminds her patients that Woman’s is highly specialized and multidisciplinary. That means everyone is involved, whether it’s reviewing imaging, evaluating pathology, or determining whether surgery, chemotherapy, or other treatment is needed. “We do this every day, and not in a way that I want to make anyone feel any less special. But we’ve seen it before and we can take care of you. We get it.”

What resources are available to help patients feel supported and informed?

Patients do not have to navigate their cancer journey alone. Woman’s has social workers and case managers who help connect patients with resources, including those available in their communities. These resources can be financial, logistical or emotional. It is also important to get information from reliable sources such as American Cancer Society.

From physical therapy and acupuncture to education classes and support groups, Woman’s offers its patients comprehensive care to support them throughout their cancer journey. To learn more about these resources, visit https://www.womans.org/services/cancer/survivorship-support.

As Dr. Patterson reminds us, modern cancer care is more personalized and promising than ever. With a trusted medical team, a strong support system and access to the right resources, patients can move forward with confidence knowing they are supported every step of the way.

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