The holiday season is often painted as an idyllic, image-making vision of rest hot drinks and plenty of time with loved ones. But many people find it difficult to relax during this time. Why do the December holidays offer the promise of respite but never seem to deliver? And is rest possible for more recovery during this busy season?
i am a psychologist which studies how rest supports learning, creativity and well-being. Sleep is often the first thing many people associate with rest, but people also need restorative downtime when they are awake. These periods of active rest include physical, social and creative experiences that can happen throughout the day – not just while aimlessly rolling around on the couch.
When the stresses of the holidays start to snowball, the rest periods replenishment of depleted psychological resources, reduce stress and promote well-being. But reaping the full benefits of rest and recreation requires more than a slow breakfast or a cup of hot cocoa. It’s also about intentionally scheduling active recovery periods that energize us and leave us feeling restored.
This is because good rest must be predicted, planned and perfected.
The stress of the holidays
The winter holiday season can take a toll on well-being. Financial stress is increasingand daily routines are disrupted. Add in the stress of travel as well as a little challenging family dynamics and it’s no wonder emotional well-being decreases during the holiday season.
Periods of quality rest and recreation can moderate these stressors, promoting recovery and wellness. They can also help reduction of psychological stress and prolongs positive emotions as people return to work.
Effective rest comes in many forms, from going outdoors for a walk to socializing, listening to music or engaging in creative hobbies. These activities may seem like distractions, but they serve important mental health functions.
For example, research finds that walking in nature results in reduced activation in the area of the brain associated with sadness and ruminative thoughts. Nature walks are also associated with reduced anxiety and stress.
Other studies have shown that activities such as playing the piano or doing calligraphy significantly lower cortisola stress hormone. In fact, some of the most promising interventions for depression include: participation in enjoyable leisure activities.
Not all idle hours are restorative
So why is it so hard to get a good night’s rest during the holidays?
One of the strongest findings from psychologists and leisure researchers is that the effectiveness of rest periods depends on how satisfying they feel about the person. This may sound obvious, but people often spend their free time doing things that are not fulfilling.
For example, a famous 2002 study of how people spent their time found that the most popular form of leisure was watching tv. But participants also rated TV time as their least enjoyable activity. Those who watched more than four hours of television a day rated it as even less enjoyable than those who watched less than two hours a day.
A few years ago, my colleagues and I collected data from students and found that students reported turning to pointless distractionslike social media, at the end of the day, but it usually didn’t leave them feeling refreshed or restored. Although this study was specifically about college students, when I presented the findings to the larger research group, one of my colleagues said, “It really makes you think about yourself, doesn’t it?” There were silent nods around the room.
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Planning for a good rest
To combat the trap of bad rest cycles, science suggests planning for active rest and enjoyable activities and implementing those plans. A large body of research shows that planning, scheduling and engaging in enjoyable activities is effective reducing symptoms of depression and stress.
For the holiday season, that might mean following up an afternoon of shopping with a recovery period, reading a book in a quiet place, or going for a walk after opening presents instead of immediately going into cleaning mode. By following a schedule, not a mood, research shows that people can breaking cycles of poor rest and inactivity and achieve greater recovery and wellness.
Struggling with guilt
Even with perfectly planned and executed rest periods, guilt can creep in. Leisure guilt is a psychological construct that involves feelings of distress about spending time doing things that are relaxing rather than productive. It can decreased enjoyment of leisure timeundermining one of the mechanisms linking rest to well-being.
During the holidays, this problem can become even more intense. The season brings changes in daily routine, daylight levels and temperatureand diets. All these changes can deplete people’s energy levels. High expectations during the holidays can make guilt an even bigger threat to rest.
If the answer to poor quality rest cycles is scheduled active rest periods, then what is the solution to guilt?
Lower expectations, immersive relaxation and acceptance
Research on leisure guilt is in its infancy, but my own struggles have shown me some ways to resist the pressure to be productive every spare minute. Here are some tips to combat the mistaken belief that rest is just laziness in disguise, during the holidays and beyond.
First, I am working on getting myself and my family members to lower expectations for our seasonal activities. Not every baked cookie needs to be individually frosted and decorated, and not every gift needs to be wrapped in a perfect bow. By agreeing to lower our expectations, we eliminate external work and the guilt of feeling like more needs to be done.
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Second, I’ve found that relaxing activities that provide a strong sense of immersion—playing video games, going for walks, and playing with my young nieces and nephews—are far more refreshing than scrolling on my phone or watching TV on the couch. These distractions demand my full attention and keep me from thinking about things like my overflowing email inbox or unfinished housework.
Finally, when I experience recreational guilt, I accept the feeling and try to move on. In high stress situations, accepting negative emotions rather than avoiding them can reduction of depressive symptoms.
People need periods of rest during the holidays and beyond, but that doesn’t always come easily or naturally to everyone. Through small adjustments and intentional actions, getting a good night’s rest can be possible this holiday season.
