If you’re pregnant, you’re probably swimming in a sea of information, facing an onslaught of guidance, opinion and expertise telling you the best and worst ways to eat, sleep, entertain, travel, exercise and even hydrate . during 40 weeks of pregnancy. Advice comes from books, the internet and the mouths of other human beings, both intimate companions and strangers on the street. Every piece of fear-inducing advice, suggestion, or command, whether asked or unsolicited, is fueled by a common intention – to cultivate the best, ideal, most perfectly optimized environment in the womb for the developing fetus within you so that it can develop into a healthy baby, equipped with everything you need to be a thriving adult. No pressure.
From the outside this approach makes sense. It’s easy to see pregnancy as nothing more than a means to an end. The “end” in this case is an adorable cooing baby in your arms. Through this lens, pregnancy is about doing everything you can during those precious nine months to ensure your little one is set up for success, whether it’s ramping up your folate intake or taming the your penchant for Chardonnay and unpasteurized cheeses. But here’s a question for you (okay, two questions). What if pregnancy was more than just raising a baby — and if it was about you, too?
Pregnancy can be a bridge to motherhood (or motherhood again), but it’s also an incredibly ripe opportunity to make a big deposit into your self-esteem account, an investment that will pay off after your baby’s birthday. Here you are, creating a whole person with your own body and preparing to birth that being into the world. You are on the threshold of letting go of one version of yourself and transforming into the unknown reality of another. These are feats of extraordinary magnitude, but they mostly get lost in the details of everyday life. If you don’t take the breaks, your pregnancy can spiral into a to-do list and milestone markers.
You can’t stop time, but you can have a much richer experience than what is happening right now. With a few simple practices your pregnancy can become an opportunity to uncover a well of strength, intuitive connection and self-compassion unlike any you’ve felt before. From there, you’ll be ready to move into motherhood with a heightened appreciation for who you are and the belief that you can do anything.
Increase quietness
The first step to maximizing the transformative power of pregnancy is to drop your engine into a lower gear and eventually put it in park. Only when you let go of the work, the planning, and the strategizing will you be able to connect with the more subtle aspects of your pregnancy experience—the quiet hum of your intuition, the sweet connection with your growing baby, and the power that awakens as you approach. at birth. In a society that prizes drive, effort, and accomplishment, choosing to do less can seem like a radical act, but also a challenge. If, like most of us, keeping busy is your bottom line, start with small acts of stillness. You don’t have to meditate for hours to experience the benefits of stillness. The small moments of quiet woven throughout the day are just as precious. Practice pausing between the transitions of your day. Take three full breaths before getting out of the car, before and after bathing, when you lie down at night, and when you wake up in the morning. Bonding with your baby will also help you slow down. Place your hands on your belly and allow yourself to simply notice how you feel. Does your heart warm and expand? Is your mind starting to get quiet? Whatever you feel is exactly right. You can’t go wrong with it.
Turn on the awe
Allow yourself to be filled with wonder, surprise and curiosity about this important chapter of your life. Simply recognizing that something important is happening here can spark a new perspective on your pregnancy, reframing it from a mere act of procreation to a profound event that will change the course of your life. Being pregnant is a big deal! Let that frame sink in deep enough and you’ll be walking around with your head held high and wondering why they don’t roll out the red carpet every time you go to the supermarket.
Celebrate your body
For some women, pregnancy catapults them straight into goddess land, where they are radiant and radiant in every trimester. For others, having a baby is inconvenient to the max—even downright painful, filled with heartburn and nausea, sciatica and incontinence. Wherever you fall on the spectrum, it’s important to remember that your body is operating at full capacity, engaged in an incredibly complex biological process with so much going on behind the scenes. You’re building bones and organs, for goodness sake! Take a moment to honor the wonderful creative powers of your body. Allow yourself to see how strong, capable and powerful you are. And then take a great guilt-free nap. And goddesses need rest.
Activate your intuition
The love and protectiveness you already feel for your baby is a gateway to sharpening your connection to your intuition, the inner sense of knowing that guides us throughout our lives. Start tapping into your intuition now and it will guide you through the choices you will face during birth and throughout motherhood. Start noticing when something feels right or wrong and then act from that place, remembering that you know what’s best for you and your baby.
Make room for the new
The journey of motherhood will inevitably bring out aspects of yourself that have yet to be released online. You may find that you are more compassionate, patient or resilient. You may also feel tested and stretched beyond anything you’ve experienced before. Motherhood is about navigating multiple, often conflicting, realities simultaneously, and pregnancy is your training ground. Practice allowing yourself to feel whatever emotions arise about the pregnancy, your upcoming birth, and the new chapter of your life that will be here before you know it. Fear, excitement, dread, worry, bliss, joy, even numbness are all welcome. By allowing yourself to feel the way you do, you create space for more of who you really are—and what you are is amazing.
This story is part of The Motherly Collective partner network where we feature the stories, experiences and advice from brands, authors and experts who want to share their perspective with our community. We believe that there is no single motherhood story and that every mother’s journey is unique. By empowering each mother’s experience and offering expert-driven content, we can support, inform and inspire each other on this incredible journey. If you are interested in contributing to The Motherly Collective, click here here.
