I have been a successful marriage and family counselor for over fifty years and have learned that people want and need love now more than ever. However, finding the right partner is a real challenge. Even harder is learning the science and art of deepening and keeping love alive once we find the partner of our dreams. I have written seventeen books on love, life and relationships and my book Looking for love in all the wrong places: Overcoming romantic and sexual addictions became an international bestseller. But recently I discovered a program that is even more successful than mine.
I had the opportunity to meet and interview Adam Cohen-Aslatei, CEO of Three Day Rule, a personalized and trendy matchmaking service for high-intent singles looking for meaningful connections. Since launching in 2010, Three Day Rule has been on a mission to show successful singles that matchmaking can be hip, affordable and accessible.
Adam discussed his company’s unique approach to matchmaking, which combines holistic guidance, AI-powered database search and a new app with voice and text capabilities to match clients.
According to dating statistics from eharmony, about 80 million people in the US now use dating apps or websites — or about 30% of the adult population. There are over 8,000 dating sites to choose from. However, several studies show that dating app success rates are less than 10%.
The problem is that they don’t work very well at providing what most people really want, which is to find a partner who is compatible and where they can get the love they really want and need, now and forever. Matchmaking has a proven 70-80% success rate because it focuses on the needs of real people. The Three Day Rule has become so successful because it delivers what people need and want and does it in a way that can help a lot of people like you and me.
The company has grown to employ more than 50 dating and relationship experts—Professionals who help blind date-weary clients find hand-picked matches and guide clients and potential partners through the dating process and early stages of a relationship to build a strong, healthy foundation. Along with paid membership, Three Day Rule cultivates a database of over 250,000 relationship-ready singles and over 21,000 successful matches, and it’s also free for anyone to join HERE.
You can see my interview with Adam here where he’ll tell you about the Three Day Rule, why they have a proven track record of success, how they’ve become the fastest growing matchmaking company in the US, and how the company’s name speaks to a major reason why so many programs fail to deliver on their promises.
The famous psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud said:
“Love and work are the cornerstones of our humanity.”
Throughout my years as a marriage and family therapist, I have found that many women and men have found success at work, but still struggle to find the real, lasting love we all need. I have worked with many individuals and couples over the years, but the number of people I can see is limited.
Those who visit my website will see my introductory video, Confessions of a Twice Divorced Marriage Counselor. It was beyond embarrassing to face the reality that I could help others find relationship success, but I hadn’t been able to make it work in my own life. I took time off from my professional job, did some soul searching, sought out expert guidance, and finally figured out what I was missing.
I am happy to say that my wife, Carlin, and I have now been happily married for 45 years. I have written about our trip in my book, The Enlightened Marriage: The 5 Transformational Stages of Relationships and Why the Best Is Yet to Come. I wish the Three Day Rule was available to me when I was struggling in my life, but I’m glad it’s here now.
I learned from Adam that Talia Goldstein founded the Three Day Rule with a simple, yet powerful idea.
“Having a matchmaker is like dating a concierge,” she says. “You have a very busy life. We do everything for you. We’ll go through all your bad first dates and send you only the best ones that are really worth your time.”
When I say Three Day Rule is the matchmaker to the stars, I don’t just mean that they are known for their work with Hollywood celebrities and people working in the film industry, although they have certainly helped many succeed in their relationships. I mean they treat everyone like stars, they know everything about you, what you want and need in a partner, then they go out of their way to help you find that special someone and teach you the skills you need to “live happily ever after”.
Three Day Rule currently operates in Boston, Chicago, Dallas, Los Angeles, Miami, Orange County (CA), New York, Philadelphia, San Diego, San Francisco, Seattle, Silicon Valley and Washington, DC and accepts customers in the US and worldwide.
One of the big mistakes I’ve made over the years trying to figure out why I had such a hard time finding love is that we use “love maps” that often lead us in the wrong direction. Without realizing it, I was repeatedly attracted to a certain type of woman that often relied on her physical attributes and “sexiness” but left out important factors that were more important to finding real, lasting love.
Adam told me that one of the most important aspects of the Third Day Rule’s success is that they emphasize four key factors that lead to long-term relationship success, including:
- Common values
- Common life goalsespecially those related to life stage and future vision
- Ambition
- Personality
And, of course, physical attractiveness.
“We always remind customers to use the “Rule of Three” on a first date, says Adam. “Find two emotional qualities to the person aligned with yours, con one thing you find physically attractive. If these three elements exist — and they do no major red flags — It’s worth going on a second date.”
Finally, Adam pointed out that initially men and women tend to look for different characteristics in a partner. Women often prioritize income stability (or a message of ambition/future success). Men tend to prioritize physical attraction earlier. There is nothing wrong with a woman wanting a man who is a good provider or a man wanting a curvaceous sexy partner. But it often causes us to rule out partners who would be perfect for us in the long run, and can get us stuck with someone who might knock our socks off when we first meet, but screw us up in the long run when we’re trying to build a life together.
“Over time, both men and women learn that while attraction sparks connection,” says Adam, “shared values and emotional compatibility they are what sustain it. We should be looking for a slow burn not butterflies! We want love instead of lust.”
If you want to learn more about the Third Day Rule, you can do so here: https://www.threedayrule.com/pool/adam.
Adam said he would like to offer our readers a 20% discount on all matchmaking services if you mention that you read about it from this article.
Adam said, you could also email him directly. Adam@threedayrule.com. He is a real person and he will answer. Also, Adam as a special gift for subscribers to my weekly newsletter:
If you want to see my interview with Adam, you can watch it YouTube here.
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